Hard Love
by BlackRoseOnFire
Summary: AU and OOC. Craig and Alex are fraternal twins who just moved from LA. They make new friends and develop new relationships. Contains slash and femslash.
1. Home Sweet Home

**Chapter One: Home Sweet Home**

_**Craig **_

"Welcome to Toronto," I said sarcastically, walking into my new house. I dropped my duffel bag on the floor in the middle of the hallway.

"I don't know what you're so bitter about. You didn't have to break up with your girlfriend just to come here," my twin sister, Alex, complained.

"There will be other girls," I told her. "I'm sure Toronto's full of them."

"So says the kid who's never had a girlfriend for more than a week," she said, laughing.

"Hey, haven't you ever heard of a one night stand?" I asked, smirking. "You should try it some time."

"I can't believe I got a pig for a brother."

"And I can't believe I got a _lesbian_ for a sister." I could tell I really hit a nerve. Alex crossed her arms over her chest and walked away, stomping up the stairs. "Alex, wait!" She spun around at the top and yelled at me with tears in her eyes.

"I can't change who I am, but you can change the fact that you're such a jerk! You just don't want to." She stormed off down the hallway, leaving me standing there, sighing.

"What did you do now?" my dad asked as he walked into the house behind me.

"I called her a lesbian. Which she is, so it shouldn't really be a big deal," I said, rolling my eyes. "Girls!"

"What about girls?" my mom asked, walking past us with a box in her arms.

"Girls are great. I love girls," I said. "I'm gonna go find my room." I left my parents in the kitchen, unpacking some boxes, and made my way upstairs. I walked past a huge, empty room with three windows. That one had to have been for my parents. The next room was the bathroom, and then the next one was…perfect.

It had a huge window with a seat that overlooked the backyard. I was just picturing where I'd put my bed when…

"Beat it, it's taken." I heard my sister's voice from somewhere behind me. When I turned around, she was walking out of the closet.

"What were you doing in there?" I asked. "I thought you came out of the closet two years ago."

"Very funny. Now get the hell out of my room."

"Who says you get this one? It's probably the best room in the house, and you'll have to fight me for it," I told her, holding my fists up. She reached out and smacked my shoulder. "Ow!" I yelled at her. "That hurt."

"And to think, _I'm _the gay one. You should work on your fighting skills before you start school. You'll get the crap beat out of you the minute you step in there, art boy." Alex said, taunting me.

"Shut up _Al_. It's not my fault you're manlier than I am. And leave my art out of this. Just because I can draw and all you do is take pictures, that doesn't mean you have to make fun of me. I'm gonna go find my room, and you won't be allowed in," I said, walking to the door.

"Oooh that upsets me sooooo much Craig. If you weren't too busy insulting me, you may have gotten this room."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to be mean; you know how I am…"

"Yeah, you're an ass most of the time. But, since you're my brother, and more importantly, my _twin_, I'll let it slide. I got the better room anyway. The next time you say shit like that, I'll do more than smack you, got it?"

"Yes, Alex, oh Queen of all things good in this world. I will worship you until my last breath," I joked. That earned me a shove out the door, which was closed promptly behind me.

"And don't you forget it!" she called through the door. I smiled and shook my head as I walked to the end of the hallway. The last room left, my room, wasn't too bad. It wasn't as good as Alex's, but I knew exactly where I'd put my bed, stereo…everything. The windows overlooked the street instead of the backyard, but I'd manage. I wasn't planning on spending much time in my room anyway. Unless I had a girl in there…

* * *

It took two days to unpack all of my stuff. My dad and I set up everyone's beds, and I helped him bring the living room furniture in from the truck. Once all of the boxes were brought inside, my parents told me I didn't have to help anymore. So on Sunday, after I finished putting the last of my clothes in my dresser, I grabbed my leather jacket and headed out. 

"Hey, you want to come with me to find some girls?" I asked Alex, who was sitting on the porch, snapping pictures of the sky with the camera hanging around her neck.

"Fine," she said, standing up. "Where should we go?"

"You're not gonna take that stupid thing, are you?" I asked, pointing to the camera.

"Yes, I am. And if you have a problem with that..." she paused and took a picture of me. "Then that's just too bad."

Even though I was the one who wanted to go out, I ended up following Alex. We walked around for a few minutes, and she kept taking pictures of everything. She was just taking a picture of her feet when she walked straight into someone.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry," she said as the girl in front of her rubbed her head.

"It's okay, really," the blonde responded, holding out her hand. "I'm Emma."

"Well, hello there Emma," I said, shoving my sister aside and shaking her hand. "I'm Craig. Please excuse the clumsiness of my dear little sister Alex here."

"I'm older than you by ten minutes Craig. Nice try," Alex said, flicking my ear. I glared at her but didn't say another word.

"Did you just move in?" Emma asked, pointing up the street towards the moving truck parked outside our house.

"Yeah, we got here on Friday," Alex said. "You live around here?"

"I was actually just on my way home. I live across the street." She pointed to her own house, directly across from ours. "Why don't you guys come over? Unless you have other plans," she said.

"We'd love to!" I said a little too enthusiastically. "It just doesn't look like there's much to do around here," I added, a little bit quieter that time.

"Actually, I was going to…" Alex started to say, but I cut her off.

"Okay then, have fun. See ya later," I said, waving to my sister.

"Nice try. I'll come," she said, apparently changing her mind. I rolled my eyes as we followed Emma back up the street to her house.

The inside looked exactly like ours, minus the decorations. We walked into the kitchen and were offered sodas. I took one, but Alex politely said no. Two adults, who I assumed to be Emma's parents, walked into the room.

"Mom, Dad, this is Alex and Craig. They just moved in across the street. Guys, these are my parents," she said, introducing us. "We're just going to go upstairs, okay?" Emma's mom nodded and smiled at us.

"It was nice meeting you," she said as we walked away.

"Nice meeting you too," Alex and I said at the same time. It was cute when we were little, but annoying now, and we didn't know how to stop it. It wasn't like we did it on purpose.

"Hold on, your parents let you bring guys in your room?" I asked Emma as she closed the door behind us.

"Yeah, why wouldn't they?" she asked as she sat down on her bed. Alex sat next to her and I took the computer chair from her desk and sat in it.

"We're not allowed to have girls in our rooms ever since Craig got caught doing things he shouldn't have been doing," Alex said.

"Hey, I was just helping her with some homework," I lied.

"Yeah, some anatomy homework," Alex joked.

"Wait, so you're not allowed to have your friends in your room because of him?" Emma asked. "That's a little harsh."

"Ha, no. She's not allowed to have girls in her room because she's a lesbian," I said. Alex narrowed her eyes at me. She didn't have a problem with letting people know that she liked girls, but she'd made it very clear to me that she wanted to be the one to tell them.

"Oh," Emma said. "That's cool then. So, are you ready for school tomorrow?"

"Don't remind me," I groaned. "I wished we could have at least moved sooner, so we didn't have to start right away."

"I can't wait," Alex said. "There better be some decent clubs. Do you have a GSA?"

"Alex was president of the GSA at our school," I said, rolling my eyes. "She gets way too into it."

"Yeah, we do. There aren't that many people in it though."

"Don't worry, I'll get more people to join," Alex said confidently.

"If there are straight girls, then I'm there," I said, winking at Emma. She laughed and shook her head.

"Come on, I'll take you to The Dot," Emma said, standing up. "You can meet a bunch of new people there."

"I think I'm actually going to like it here," I said as I followed my sister and our new friend out of her house.

"You've been complaining ever since we got here," Alex pointed out.

"Not anymore," I told her. "Welcome to Toronto. Home sweet home."

* * *

**A/N: I had this idea and I had to write the story. There are a lot of differences between the show and this story, but some similarities too. Joey and Caitlin Jeremiah are Craig and Alex's parents. And Mr. Simpson is Emma's biological father, and Spike is still her mom. All of their parents went to Degrassi when they were younger, and their moms had them when they were 14, like Spike had Emma on the show. Let me know what you think. **

**I have the first fifteen chapters written right now, which is about half of the story. I won't be posting the next chapter until I have at least ten reviews. I know a lot of people read these and don't review. I just want people to let me know what they think of the story, and I need time to write the rest of it. So, if you want to read more, just review! XD  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters! **


	2. Equality

**Chapter Two: Equality**

_**Alex**_

"Excuse me, do you know where Ms. Kwan's homeroom is?" I asked the first girl I saw. She was leaning against a locker, looking into a mirror. Craig had gotten a ride with Emma and her dad, but I'd decided to walk to school. They were nowhere in sight, so I was stuck asking this random girl for help.

"Do I know you?" she snapped, not even taking her eyes off of herself for a split second.

"I'm Alex. It's my first day at Degrassi," I explained.

"I don't care," she replied, snapping her mirror shut.

"Who are you tormenting now, Manny?" a voice asked from behind me. "Don't mind her, she hasn't had her coffee yet," the boy said, walking around me to get to Manny. "Sorry I'm late," he told her, handing her a coffee and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Thanks babe. This is why I love you so much; you know exactly what I need." She kissed him again, this time letting her tongue slip through his lips. I looked away, instantly uncomfortable. I didn't even know why I was still standing there.

"Sorry," the boy said, looking back at me. "We get carried away sometimes. I'm Marco Del Rossi." He held his hand out and I shook it.

"Alex Jeremiah," I told him, smiling. At least someone was nice in the school. Besides the two people standing in front of me, I'd only met Emma. After only a day, Craig was glued to Emma's side, leaving me with no one. But I hoped that this Marco kid might want to be friends.

"He's my boyfriend," Manny said, grabbing onto his hand. "That means he's taken," she said slowly, as if she didn't think I'd understand her.

"I'm a lesbian," I replied in the same, slow voice. "That means I'm not interested." Marco laughed at that, earning a smack in the chest from his girlfriend.

"Good," she snapped, narrowing her eyes. She was very snappy. And annoying. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"That's great!" Marco suddenly shouted. I gave him a look that showed I had no idea what he was talking about, so he explained. "I was hoping to recruit more people for the GSA. I am the founder and President," he grinned.

"I wanted to find out more about it. Emma told me a little bit. Maybe we could talk after school," I suggested. Before he could answer, Manny cut in.

"I don't know why you spend so much time with that club when you're not even gay," she complained.

"It's for gay _and _straight people Manny. That would be what the 's' stands for."

"I know," she stated smugly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Anyway, I formed it when I found out my brother was gay," Marco explained, ignoring Manny for a moment.

"That's cool," I said, leaning back against the locker next to Manny's.

"We need to go sweetie. Or we'll be late," Manny blurted out, placing her hand on Marco's arm. I looked at my watch; there were still fifteen minutes left before homeroom started.

"Okay, I'll see you around Alex," he said, starting to follow his girlfriend.

"What about the club?" I called after him.

"Right!" he yelled, spinning around and walking backwards. I could imagine Manny snapping at him later because all of his attention wasn't on her for two minutes. "There's a meeting today at three. Be there!"

"Don't worry, I will." I waved and watched him turn back around, putting an arm around Manny's waist.

For a split second, I wished I wasn't gay so I could steal him away from her. Then I changed my mind. Nothing would ever happen with her either. She was pretty, but a little too snappy for my liking.

* * *

My first class was Media Immersions—definitely unlike any class I had in LA. I sat next to a boy with brown hair, fashioned into a slightly poor attempt at a faux hawk. He cracked jokes to the people around him. I didn't think he knew I was there, but he suddenly spun his chair around so he was facing me. 

"You're new right? I'm Spinner," he told me. Then he just stared at me, so I assumed he was waiting for something.

"I'm Alex," I answered, twisting my chair a little.

"I met your brother already in homeroom."

"I'm sorry." That got me a laugh.

"Don't be. He's…"

"Strange?" I asked. "I know, I live with him."

"I was going to say nice. But I guess 'strange' works."

"He's already got a new best friend. Or potential girlfriend, lap dog, whatever," I said. "That girl Emma," I added.

"He must like to party then," Spinner replied, grinning.

I was just about to ask him what he meant when Mr. Simpson walked in. He walked over to his computer and plopped down in his chair, immediately starting attendance.

I zoned out a little until I heard the name 'Gavin Del Rossi.' I popped my head up and looked around, realizing that Spinner was the one who'd said 'here.'

"You're Marco's brother?" I asked him. He nodded and started drumming his fingers on the desktop in front of him.

"But, I'm also Spinner. I'm a person, and the fact that I'm Marco's brother has nothing to do with who I am."

"I realize that," I said. "It's just that you don't look anything like him," I said.

"It would be a little weird if I did, since I'm adopted."

"Oh." I felt so dumb. Luckily, I was saved by Mr. Simpson calling out my name. "Here!" I replied, gladly distracted from the awkward moment. I played around with the computer for a few minutes, ignoring Spinner. Suddenly, an IM popped up on my screen.

**GavinDR: **You don't have to be embarrassed. It doesn't bother me at all.

I instantly started to blush, but decided to type something back.

**AlexJ: **Sorry

**GavinDR: **Don't be. Just don't ignore me again for a stupid reason like that. I like you Alex, you're cool.

**AlexJ: **I like you too, GAVIN. If that's even your real name.

**GavinDR: **It is, but my friends call me Spinner.

**AlexJ: **That's definitely original.

I felt a hand clap down on my shoulder and jumped. I turned around to see Mr. Simpson standing over me, arms crossed over his chest, frowning. I grinned and tried not to blush as I noticed that everyone in the class was staring.

"It won't happen again Sir," I said, saluting him.

* * *

When I walked into the cafeteria, I looked around for anyone I knew. I didn't feel like making it obvious that I was new and didn't have any friends. Correction, I had three friends if Emma, Marco, and Spinner counted, but I'd really only talked to them for a few minutes. 

To my left I saw Marco and Spinner at a table. They motioned for me to sit with them, but just as I was starting over, I heard someone else call my name. I looked over to my right and saw Craig and Emma, waving for me to join them. I stood there for a moment before I made my decision.

I walked to the left to sit with Marco and Spinner. My brother would get over it; he saw me every day. Besides, he probably wanted to be alone with Emma anyway.

"Hey guys," I said, plopping into a chair across from Marco. "Where's Manny?" I asked him.

"She's not in this lunch period," he replied.

"Thank God," I said. Spinner laughed but Marco glared at him.

"Manny means well, she just doesn't open up to people," he explained.

"Yeah unless they're screwing her," Spinner added. Marco smacked him on his shoulder, and Spinner smacked him right back. They went on for a minute, hitting each other harder each time until I cleared my throat.

"My brother and I haven't done that since we were two," I said, raising my eyebrows at them.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody's perfect," Marco said. "Especially not Spinner's ex."

"Hey! Don't go there," his brother replied.

"So, what is there to do for fun around here?" I asked them. "Besides going to The Dot," I added. "Been there, done that."

"Well, you could always party down at the ravine with Emma and her friends. Of course, you would go home with an STD. But don't worry, most of them are curable," Marco joked.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Spinner answered for him. "Well, Emma doesn't have one. Yet."

"There's always the movie theater," Marco suggested, changing the subject. "Paige works there."

"Who's Paige?"

"Just this girl," he told me. "She was friends with Manny for about a week a few years ago, but now she's kind of a loner."

"Don't worry, she's nothing like Manny," Spinner assured me. "Except for the fact that they're both hot. I swear, if I liked girls, Paige would be the first on my list to…"

"Okay, enough details," Marco complained.

"I may want to hear those details," I said. "If she's as hot as you say she is…"

* * *

I walked into the room Marco told me the meeting was in and looked around. I spotted Spinner and Marco right away, sitting next to each other. Chairs were formed in a circle, and a few other people were there. I grabbed a chair next to Spinner. 

"When's this thing start?" I asked. I heard giggling and saw a bunch of girls coming into the room in one huge group.

"In a few minutes," he told me. He looked pretty disappointed.

"What's with them?" I pointed at the girls, who'd taken the seats across from us. They were whispering a lot.

"Most of the straight girls who come, aka them, only come to see Marco. They think he's some kind of god and they know Manny won't be at the meeting," he explained. "The only problem is, not many gay guys come. So I don't get anything fun to look at," he pouted.

"What about him?" I pointed at a boy sitting to my far left, who was looking out the window next to him.

"Nah. That's Sean, this girl Ashley's boyfriend," he said.

"We'll have to get some serious recruitment campaigns," I told him. "I was the President of the GSA at my old school, and we had tons of people who were actually interested in the message we were trying to send."

"That would be great. Besides us, and maybe Sean, the only person who cares about sending out a positive message is Peter. He's straight, but he'll get revenge on anyone who says something bad about or hurts a gay kid, nonviolently of course."

"Well, where's he?"

"He got the shit beat out of him actually. But he'll be back."

"Okay, so we need more equality troops too, got it," I said.

"Let's start the meeting now," Marco announced.

A few people trickled in at the last few moments. The discussion for the day was changing the club's name. Some girl thought it should be changed to the GLBTSA.

"I'm just saying that everyone should be included. With a name like Gay Straight Alliance, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals aren't included and may feel left out," she explained.

"I don't really agree. I'm a lesbian, and I consider myself gay," I spoke up.

"But you're not the only lesbian in the club," Sean said from the corner. "And you can't speak for bisexuals or transsexuals," he added.

"Well then you're leaving out people who are confused or questioning their sexuality," I pointed out. I know I don't speak for everyone, but I'm not just a lesbian. I'm a person, and I don't think sexuality should define who I am, and it doesn't really need to define the name of our club. We could just be the Equality Club or something like that to show that everyone in the school is included."

"That's a great idea Alex," Marco said. The group of girls across from us all nodded, and I rolled my eyes.

"It works for me," Sean said, shrugging and looking back out the window.

"How about we take a vote," Spinner suggested.

Almost everyone voted for 'Equality Club.' The only person who didn't was the girl who brought up the name change in the first place. It didn't really matter because majority ruled and the name was changed. I felt like I had accomplished a lot on my first day of school.

As we walked out of the room when the meeting was over, Spinner nudged me.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a lesbian?" he asked.

"Would it have changed the way you think about me?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Well, the only thing is, we can't talk about hot guys," he said, shaking his head. I shoved him lightly and laughed.

"But Marco and I can talk about girls," I said, tilting my head in his direction. "So tell me Marco, who should I meet?"

* * *

**A/N: I was hoping for more reviews, but I won't punish the people who actually took a second of their time to leave me something nice. You all know who you are, thanks! **

**Just to clarify, everyone I mention is supposed to be in the same grade, unless I say so otherwise. They're all sophomores (grade ten). So some people are fifteen and some are sixteen, I'll mention that if I find it important. As you can tell, Manny is supposed to be the "queen bee," taking Paige's spot. I love her on the show, but someone's got to be the bitch so it's her. She and Marco are the so-called "it couple" of the school. And no, he's obviously not gay. But Spinner is! **

**RachaelFOSHO, urbanluver, Grifter, and bee3: Thank you for your reviews! They were much appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading and please review! XD**


	3. Party on a Monday, Anyone?

**Chapter Three: Party on a Monday, Anyone?**

_**Craig**_

Emma sat on my bed with textbooks around her. She agreed to help me with my homework, and since my parents weren't home from work yet, I brought her up into my room. She looked so comfortable, and I wanted to join her, but I held back. I sat on my computer chair by the bed, my leg bouncing up and down hastily.

I wanted to take things slow with her. In the past, I always rushed with girls and felt lost. I pretended to know what I was doing but I never really did. Kissing was fine, but sex had always been awkward for me. Even after about ten different girls, I wasn't sure what to do; which was why I wanted to be just friends with Emma for awhile. I could wait for sex. I wanted to finally do something right for a change.

"Earth to Craig?!?" I heard her say. I was pulled from my thoughts and brought my eyes up to meet hers.

"Huh?" I asked, smiling.

"I was saying that we should go to a party tonight," she said.

"Tonight? But what about homework and my parents?"

"We'll finish homework now, you can have dinner at my house, and then we'll sneak out. You can tell your parents that we're doing homework after dinner. They won't know you're at a party," she explained.

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed. I hadn't ever been much of a partier, but I figured I'd give it a try. "Should we ask Alex to go?"

"If you want…" she trailed off. I could tell she didn't really want me to, but I wasn't going to leave my sister out just because of her. Alex and I had been best friends since before we were born.

* * *

After our homework was finished, I headed to Alex's room while Emma got her stuff together. I knocked on the door before walking in and found her sitting by the window, taking pictures of the backyard. 

"What's up?" she asked, snapping a picture of me before lowering her camera.

"Emma and I were wondering if you wanted to go for dinner at her house and then come to a party with us," I said.

"On a Monday night? No thanks. I have homework. And Spinner's coming over after dinner anyway, especially if I want to pass Chemistry," she said.

"I met him today in homeroom. He's pretty cool," I told her.

"Yep," she agreed.

"Well, I'll see you later then," I said, turning around and walking to the door.

"Hey Craig?" I spun around to face her. "Be careful, okay?"

"Of course," I nodded. We smiled at each other and I left, finding Emma waiting for me in the hallway.

I wrote a note for my parents and we walked across the street to her house. She'd already called her parents and asked if I could come over. Dinner wasn't ready yet when we got there, so I helped Emma set the table.

"You know, my dad said we knew each other when we were babies," she told me as she put the napkins down and I followed her, putting the silverware in the right places.

"Really? Oh my God! You're the little blonde girl in the picture of Alex and I in our old backyard! I can't believe that's you! We both have a copy of that picture," I exclaimed. "I never even connected that Emma with you."

"I have a copy of it too," she said. "I didn't realize it was you guys until my mom told me last night. She's the one that told your parents about the house. They were all friends in high school."

"Well, I'm glad she told them," I grinned.

"Me too." She was close to me, looking right into my eyes. So much for taking it slow. She got even closer, and I'd just closed my eyes when I heard someone walk into the room.

"You two catching up on old times?" Emma's mom asked. I stepped away from Emma and stared at the floor.

"Yeah Mom," Emma said with an annoyed tone. I looked up to see her rolling her eyes at her mother's back.

"Thanks for letting me stay for dinner Mrs. Simpson," I said, relieving a little tension in the room.

"Call me Spike," she said. "And you're welcome over anytime."

* * *

Emma's parents were very nice, and didn't ask too many questions. But as soon as dinner was over, Emma dragged me up to her room. She yelled over her shoulder that we were going to do homework and not to disturb us. I couldn't believe her parents were so trusting of her. The sad thing was, they probably shouldn't have been. But what did I care? I was going to a party. 

Emma locked her door behind us and turned her stereo on. I looked at the pictures on her walls while she scanned the closet for something to wear. I found the photo we'd been talking about earlier. It was in the middle of a family collage. All of the other pictures were of her with a girl with long, brown hair.

"Who's that?" I asked, pointing to the picture.

"My best friend, Ashley," she answered. I turned around to look at her and saw that she was standing there in her bra.

"Sorry!" I squealed, shielding my eyes and spinning around. I could feel my cheeks turning red.

"Don't worry about it," she said from behind me. "We've known each other since we were born, so I'm sure you've seen them before…" she trailed off. I could only imagine the look on her face.

"Yeah but uh…that was before they were so…" I bit the knuckle of my index finder to stop from saying anything else.

"Big?" She finished my sentence anyway. I felt her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, you can look." She slowly turned me around. I felt her breath on my neck and stared at her lips. "How do I look?"

I swallowed hard, and she reached her hand up to touch my cheek. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers before slowly sliding my tongue past them.

Then I started to get that same feeling, the one where I thought I was doing something wrong. I wasn't sure if Emma liked me kissing her or not, but she didn't pull away. I did.

"You look amazing. Ready to go?" I asked. She looked somewhat disappointed, but smiled. I followed her over to her window and watched her open it. She bent over to grab her purse off the floor, giving me a complete view of her thong. I swallowed another lump in my throat and climbed out behind her. I knew I was about to have one hell of a night.

* * *

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the ceiling of some kind of vehicle. My back was stiff and the floor under me was hard but warm. My head felt like someone was repeatedly throwing rocks at it. 

It wasn't until then that I realized I was not alone. Movement on my left caught my attention. I closed my eyes and reached out. Silky hair ran through my fingertips. I smiled and rolled over, breathing in her scent. Emma smelled so good in the morning.

I opened my eyes and…oh no. Definitely not Emma! My vision was full of brown hair, not blonde. But who? I didn't think I should stick around to find out. I noticed when I sat up that I was naked. I rushed to find my clothes but I didn't see my boxers or pants anywhere.

"Sean?" the girl called out sleepily. _Nope, definitely not Sean. There is no Sean here,_ I thought to myself.

She started to roll over. There was no way in hell that I was leaving the van with myself exposed, so I covered myself up with my shirt and braced myself for the impact. There was about to be a freak out.

"Who the fuck are you?" she yelled as soon as she opened her eyes. She had no idea who I was, but I knew who she was.

"Ashley, right? Emma's best friend? I'm Craig," I rambled.

"It doesn't matter who you are! You're _not_ my boyfriend!" She sat up and gave me a dirty look when I glanced at her chest. It wasn't my fault she had nothing on. Well, maybe it was. I couldn't really remember.

"I take it you're talking about Sean," I said, remembering the name she'd called out a few minutes before. She glared at me and started picking her clothes up.

"I can't believe this is happening again!" she said, frustrated.

"Again? Great," I sighed. I finally spotted my boxers under the front seat and pulled them on. Ashley turned her back to me and started getting dressed too.

I knew I'd already missed school by the sight of the sunlight pouring in through the van's windows. Those thoughts were confirmed when Ashley looked at her watch and told me it was noon. While she pulled her skirt on, she actually apologized to me about what happened.

"Just don't tell my boyfriend, okay?" she asked as she dropped me off outside my house—yes, she gave me a ride.

I rolled my eyes and nodded. I quietly dragged myself into the house, and luckily my parents were at work. I found an angry note from my dad on my pillow. I'd left my cell phone next to my bed, and saw that I had eight missed calls.

My head was still pounding, so I flopped onto my bed and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"What is wrong with you?!?" The yell woke me right up. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock next to my bed. It was three-thirty in the afternoon. My head still hurt, but luckily it was down to a dull throb. 

"Dad, can we talk about this later?" I groaned, putting my head back on the pillow.

"No, we can't," he said angrily, flipping the light on. "Your mother and I were worried sick about you! You said you were going to Emma's, that's fine. But you snuck out her window and went to a party?" he yelled.

"I just wanted to have some fun! And I'm home now, right? Isn't that what's important?" I asked.

"What's important is that you're grounded for a month! First, you left your new friend to make excuses for you when you wanted to go to a party. Then, you lied to us about it, and you never came home! What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?" he asked.

"Yes, I was. I can make my own decisions you know. And what do you mean; I left my new friend to make excuses for me?" I yelled right back.

"Don't even think about raising your voice with me Craig. Do you want another month added onto the grounding? You're fifteen years old, so you won't be making decisions like this for another three years. And you bribed Emma by telling her you'd do her homework for her if she covered for you while you went to that party!"

I opened my mouth to say something, but then I closed it again. Why did Emma lie to my parents? She was at that party too. I sighed and sat up.

"You're to come straight home from school every day for a month. No going out with friends, and definitely no cell phone," he finished. "And get dressed, because I'm bringing you to school to get the work you missed right now," he said.

* * *

"A month? Is that really necessary?" I asked Alex, plopping down on her bed. 

"Um, yeah. Maybe if you weren't such a dick and you actually came home at a decent time it wouldn't be so bad. I told you to be careful, not be an idiot," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I honestly don't remember what happened at all. I climbed out of Emma's window, _with_ her, might I add, and then I woke up with this other girl in a van…"

"So you got drunk," Alex stated, sighing. "Great job. They already don't trust you in your own bedroom, and now they'll probably never trust you anywhere."

"Shit," I muttered. I remembered Emma shoving a cup in my hands the night before; even after I told her I didn't drink. And she just kept refilling it.

"Well what am I supposed to do now?" I asked her. She was always good at giving advice, and I knew that I should probably listen to what she told me to do.

"My advice would be to actually listen to our parents for once. The month won't be that long. You can see Emma at school. And, if you're really desperate, join a club or something. That way, you can stay at school longer. But you'll have to come home with me once Equality club is done," she said.

"Maybe I'll just join that club. How many times a week does it meet?" I asked.

"Twice; on Mondays and Wednesdays. But you could join Art Club too. That meets on Thursdays. So you would only have to go straight home on Tuesdays and Fridays. It beats actually doing homework all night," she shrugged.

"Sounds like a plan. This Equality club better be good," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

I went back to my room and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Even with the clubs, I was in for a very boring month. Why did I go to that stupid party with Emma? She hadn't even stayed all night, and she left me to deal with the consequences. What was I even thinking?

* * *

**A/N: I really would like more reviews but I won't hold that against the people who give them to me. What did you think? **

**NickyFox13: Don't worry about how long your review was lol. The fact that you left one at all is good enough for me! **

**urbanluver: It's good to hear from you again! I'm glad you love it XD Thanks for reviewing.**


	4. The Manny Marco Sextravaganza

**Chapter Four: The Manny-Marco Sextravaganza **

_**Alex**_

After Craig was grounded for a month, the rest of the week went by without any real excitement. Craig's first meeting of Equality club was better than I thought it would be. We talked about being the sibling of someone who was gay. Marco, Craig, and a few other people had some things to say.

"It must not be all that hard," a guy said. "The siblings aren't the ones who are gay. They don't have to deal with being afraid to come out or with bashing or anything like that."

"You must be an only child then," Marco said. "I love my brother, and I've always been there for him. That means helping him out and sticking with him no matter what. But that doesn't mean that it's easy."

"I agree," Craig said. I didn't think he was going to talk at all, but he did. "It hasn't been easy being Alex's brother," he confessed. "Especially when she first came out. I had so many people coming up to me and saying shit to me about her. And I was around a lot when people made fun of her. I always defended her, no matter what; even if the person started saying crap about me."

"So what; that happens with everyone who's an older sibling, whether they're gay or not," Sean said.

"He does have a point," Spinner agreed.

"But it's not exactly the same," Craig argued. "Do you even have a younger sibling? Alex isn't even younger than me and I still look out for her. You're right, you should look out for your sibling, no matter what, but people were constantly threatening her every day. That doesn't usually happen to someone who's straight."

"He has a point too," Spinner said, getting a glare from Sean. "Or...not," he added quietly. I wasn't sure what was going on there, but I shrugged and shifted in my seat.

"So you're both partially right. There can be more than one view on the subject," I told them.

"Whatever," Sean said. He was obviously used to being right all the time.

"Why don't we take a break for a few minutes, and start on another topic after that?" Marco suggested. Everyone agreed and went their separate ways for a couple minutes. When we got back, Marco decided to bring up 'coming out' and what it meant to all of us. I knew that one would involve a lot of different opinions, but it's always good to see other peoples' sides of things too.

* * *

On Friday night, I got ready to go to the movies with Spinner. He was my "date" since we were going with Marco and Manny. That would definitely be interesting. 

"Alex, your date's here!" Craig yelled up the stairs with an annoyed tone.

"Don't be jealous because you screwed up," I told him. "And don't wait up," I added, patting his cheek.

"Very funny. She _has_ told you that she's a lesbian, right?" he asked, addressing Spinner. "You won't be getting any tonight," he smirked.

"Doesn't matter to me, I _am_ gay," he replied.

The look on Craig's face was priceless. How had he _not _known? He must not have been paying much attention during Equality Club.

"Bye!" I shouted to my parents who were in the kitchen, making dinner. "Don't have too much fun," I told Craig, who narrowed his eyes at me.

I followed Spinner out to his car. Marco and Manny were in the backseat, all over each other.

"Okay, there are other people in here now," I said, trying to get them to stop.

"They can't hear you. They're in the 'zone,' Spinner said. "Might as well put some music on so we don't have to hear it," he suggested. I played around with the radio buttons as he pulled out of the driveway, finally settling on a station when we were halfway there.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" I asked over the music.

"If I did, do you think I would've invited you to the movies?" he asked, grinning.

"I guess not."

"I'm just kidding; friends always come first," he said.

"Yeah, if you're single," I joked back.

* * *

The worst place to sit in a movie theater is next to Manny Santos. And that's exactly where I was sitting. She arranged the seating so no one would be next to Marco but her. She hogged the armrest, shifted around in her seat about every five minutes, and constantly bumped her leg into mine in the process.

I whispered to Spinner once, not loud at all—I swear, she has supersonic hearing—and she practically screamed 'Shhh!' at me and glared.

To get back at her, I 'accidentally' held her hand when she took up the armrest again. She freaked out and ripped her hand away. Then she got as close to Marco as she could and started kissing him.

There was still a good half hour left of the movie, and they weren't stopping anytime soon. Since I'd already missed most of it, I didn't feel like sticking around anymore. With just one look, Spinner and I silently agreed to ditch.

"Never invite me to a double date with those two again," I said as soon as we were out of the theater.

"Sorry, it's never been like that before. My ex and I went with them all the time and we actually watched the movie," he told me.

"Who's your ex?" I asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Don't ask. I don't want to talk about it," he said quickly. "It didn't end well and I don't feel like bringing up bad memories."

"That bad, huh?" I asked. He nodded.

"How about you? Got any exes you want to talk about? Or complain about?"

"Just one. Her name's Ashley," I sighed, leaning back against the wall.

"Was it messy? The breakup, I mean. I don't want any details about…"

"I know what you mean, Spinner. I wouldn't give you details about _that_ anyway. But the breakup wasn't messy, it was mutual. We both knew there was no sense in staying together when I was moving out of the country," I explained, sighing.

"You miss her, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah. I was just so used to seeing her everyday. And we always had a lot of fun. She was always there for me no matter what. It makes me feel a little alone here," I told him.

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know…maybe. I'm fifteen; I don't think I'll find a soul mate anytime soon. But Ashley is my best friend. And now I can't see her anymore."

"I know what you mean. You could always be best friends with the Ashley here, but she's big slut."

"No thanks," I said, laughing.

"You have me," he grinned, nudging me with his elbow.

"I know. And even though we've only been friends for a week, I love you to death. But I just wish I had a girl to understand me," I said.

"Don't worry, you'll find one," Spinner assured me.

"Yeah, and preferably one who's not a slut," I joked.

"Speak of the devil! Ashley Kerwin, how are you? Who's the new guy this week?" he asked.

"Shut up Spinner," Sean, that kid from Equality Club, said. He pulled Ashley closer to him and narrowed his eyes.

"Down boys," I told them. "Play nice."

"Ashley, this is Alex," Sean said, introducing us and ignoring Spinner.

"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking her hand. "I've heard so much about you." I tried not to laugh as Spinner made a face behind her back.

"There you guys are!" Marco's voice called from somewhere behind us. "Why did you leave before the movie was over? You missed the best part of the movie!"

"And you probably did too," I told him, earning a laugh from Spinner. Ashley and Sean walked away in the commotion but no one really cared. Spinner was still mad about something but he wouldn't tell me what.

"We're going to The Dot; do you guys want to come?" Manny asked. She wouldn't look at me though and had her arms crossed over her chest.

Spinner and I exchanged furtive glances. Marco was obviously making her ask to be nice. So we should be nice too, right?

"We'd love to come!" I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Definitely," Spinner added. Manny rolled her eyes and followed us to the car.

"Ellie!" Manny squealed as soon as we walked into The Dot. She threw her arms around the girl in question. All I could see was red hair.

"Who is that?" I whispered to Spinner.

"Manny's best friend," he told me.

"I wish you didn't have to work here," Manny whined. "Then you could have gone to the movies with us. It would have been so much more fun with you."

"The only movie I saw was 'The Manny-Marco Sextravaganza,' I joked. Ellie laughed and I saw her face for the first time. She was breathtaking. Her red hair shone in the low lights of the restaurant and her eyes were the most beautiful brown I'd ever seen. I didn't want to take my eyes off of her, but I also didn't want her to think I was a freak, so I shifted my attention to Manny. She was scowling right in my direction.

"That wasn't funny," she said.

"Yes it was!" Spinner and Ellie said at the same time.

"Why don't we sit down and look at the menu?" Manny snapped, walking away to a booth in the corner, dragging Marco along with her.

"I'm Alex," I said to Ellie as I walked by her.

"Ellie Nash," she said, shaking my hand. "I already met Craig," she told me.

"It seems like everyone has. He must be whoring himself around again," I joked. She laughed again. I loved her laugh.

"No, he's just in my music class."

"Eleanor!" a voice called from somewhere behind us.

"Gotta go; the boss is calling. I'll be right back to take your order." I watched her until she was gone, into the back of the restaurant, before reluctantly trudging over to the booth. I plopped down next to Spinner and grabbed a menu.

A few minutes later, Ellie was back, and I had to keep myself from staring again.

"I'll have a chicken basket," Marco ordered.

"I'll take a burger, medium-well," I said.

"And I'll have the same," Spinner agreed.

"Aw, you two must be made for each other," Ellie joked.

"Yeah, if they weren't both _gay_," Manny added. I rolled my eyes and made a face at her as she ordered.

"I'll have a salad, no dressing please," Manny said. As Ellie walked away, I decided to pick on Manny a little. Maybe she'd have some sense of humor.

"Why don't you live a little," I suggested. "Eat a french fry. But just one or you might gain a half a pound."

"Very funny. Sorry, but we can't all be pigs like you and still stay skinny," she snapped.

"It's called exercising. If you tried it, you could order something other than rabbit food."

"I _do_ exercise. It's called cheerleading and field hockey," she sneered.

"Wow, and you haven't broken a nail? Amazing," I gasped, covering my mouth to feign surprise.

"No, they're all still here, especially this one," she said, sticking her middle finger up at me.

"Great comeback Manny, I haven't seen that one since third grade. Trying to bring things back into style? Like that shirt?" I asked. Spinner snorted and Marco was obviously trying not to laugh.

"That's enough ladies," Ellie said as she started putting plates down in front of us. Our fight had gone on the entire time it took for our food to be ready. Oh well, at least it helped pass the time.

"Aw man, it was just getting good," Spinner complained. Everyone laughed except for Manny, who was already picking at her salad.

As I took my plate from Ellie, our hands brushed together for a split second. I wanted that second to last a lot longer than that, but no such luck. Ellie smiled and walked away, leaving me starting at her back once again.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to the two people who reviewed last chapter, you know who you are. And to you, I apologize for taking so long to update, I've just been really busy with my new job. I hope you like it! **


	5. The Fight

**Chapter Five: The Fight **

_**Craig**_

When Alex went out with Spinner, Marco, and Manny, my parents also decided to go out. They thought it would be a great idea to go to dinner with Emma's parents.

"You know the rules Craig," my dad reminded me before he closed the door behind them. Did they really think I was going to stay in my room all night and do nothing? The only good thing about being grounded was getting good grades, therefore keeping them off my back about school. But I was not about to stay home and do homework on a Friday night.

As soon as I knew they were gone, I grabbed my house keys, locked the place up, and headed over to Emma's. Before I could even knock on the door, it opened and I was dragged inside. I found a guy my age sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on TV, looking for something good to watch.

"Is he your boyfriend?" I asked Emma. Both of them made faces so I assumed I was wrong.

"Ew, no! He's my cousin. He's spending the night while his mom is away; apparently she doesn't trust him," she told me.

"You're the one who shouldn't be trusted," the guy said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not the one who sneaks out and parties at the ravine almost every night."

"Well then maybe you should get a life, JASON!" Emma snapped. "It's not my fault that Paige Michalchuk is your only friend."

"Shut up Emma. She's a lot better than the scum you hang out with," he said back. "No offense," he added, looking over at me. "Just try not to get sucked too far into her little world; you'll probably end up with a social disease." I nodded my head and shoved my hands in my pockets, suddenly very uncomfortable.

"As you can tell, we don't get along," Emma told me. "Let's go upstairs."

Before I could answer, she grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs. As soon as we got into her room, she closed the door and locked it.

"Hurry up, we probably only have about an hour," she said, walking over to me and kissing me hard. I didn't even know it was going to happen; she caught me completely by surprise. I still felt uncomfortable, but I didn't know why. Maybe because her cousin was downstairs, or maybe because I wasn't planning on doing anything with her at all.

She backed me up onto her bed and got on top of me, kissing me the entire time. Her tongue snaked into my mouth and I felt her hands on my belt, trying to get it off quickly. Once she had it off, she started to pull my pants down and stopped kissing me. I knew what she was about to do and I almost let her, but then I pushed her head away at the last minute.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sitting back. I was still exposed, but she was sitting on my legs, so I couldn't exactly do anything about it at the moment.

"I wasn't planning on…doing this," I said, motioning towards my pants that were down around my ankles.

"Oh…" she said, slowly getting off of me. "I just thought that…"

"Emma, I have to tell you something," I said, sitting up and fixing my pants. "About Monday night."

"I already know you had sex with Ashley, if that's what you were going to say," she blurted out.

"You do?" I asked in surprise.

"Of course, she told me."

"And you're not mad at me? Or at her?" I asked.

"No, why would I be? I mean, I was the one who shoved all the drinks in your hands. And I knew that if Ashley got drunk she would drag any guy into the van with her," she said, shrugging, as if it were no big deal at all.

"Okay then," I said. I still didn't understand. If she liked me at all, which I assumed she did because of the spectacle that occurred only a minute ago, why did she get me drunk and let me sleep with her best friend?

"Ashley is just miserable all the time. Sean won't sleep with her so she finds sex in other places; mainly the ravine. Who am I to keep her from being happy?" she explained, shrugging again.

"Why won't he sleep with her?" I asked.

"I don't know, maybe he's a virgin or something," she said, laughing. I didn't laugh along with her, so she assumed something about me.

"Wait…you're not a virgin, are you?" she asked.

"No, definitely not. But I like you and I want to take things slow. We have only known each other for a week," I explained.

"Actually, we've known each other all our lives. We just haven't spoken since we were little," she said, grinning.

"But still…why don't we get to know each other better first?"

"Fine," she sighed. "But can we still make out?"

"Sure," I said. Within seconds, she was on me again, pressing her lips to mine and lifting up my shirt.

"Can we make out…naked?" she asked, grinning.

"Not yet."

* * *

I got home an hour and a half later, to a still empty house. I went into Alex's room and sat in her window seat to wait for her to get home. While I looked out and up at the sky, Jay's words repeated over and over in my head. He'd properly introduced himself when I was on my way out; Emma had stayed up in her room.

"_You should really be more careful, you know," he said, catching me off-guard. I'd forgotten he was even there. "I really don't think Emma has anything, but if you had sex with Ashley, you should probably be worried."_

"_Were you listening to us?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. _

"_The main reason Emma's parents let her have boys in her room is because you can hear everything that goes on through the vents. They know she likes to party; but they only listen when they're concerned," he explained._

"_But that's still invading her privacy," I said, annoyed that anyone could overhear us at all, no matter what the reason._

"_When Emma was twelve, she met a guy off the internet who turned out to be over thirty. He tried to rape her and when she wouldn't cooperate, he beat the shit out of her," he said sternly. "I think my aunt and uncle are concerned with a little more than her privacy."_

"_Are you serious?" I asked. "She never said anything about it…"_

"_It was all on tape since the guy wanted to film them having sex," he said, suddenly getting quiet. "She's only known you for a week, so it's no surprise that she hasn't told you. I shouldn't have even told you."_

"_I gotta go," I said, grabbing my jacket and rushing out the door. _

I felt so confused. If Emma was hurt by this guy that badly, and only three years ago, why was she trying to rush into sex with me? I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, then leaned my head back against the wall behind me.

* * *

"What are you doing in my room?"

I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything was blurry. I hadn't realized how tired I was and I didn't know I was going to fall asleep. As soon as my eyesight adjusted, I stretched and sat up.

"Alex," I sighed," getting up and walking over to her. "I was waiting for you." I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. After a moment of hesitation, she hugged back.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sitting on her bed and motioning for me to join her.

I poured out the whole story in a matter of minutes, including my interaction with Ashley and Jay's advice.

"Spinner warned me about her," she said. "He told me she's a slut and that practically everyone at this ravine place has some form of STD. You really dug yourself into a hole this time, didn't you?" she asked.

I nodded and put my head on her shoulder. Ever since we were little, Alex had always been able to make me feel better. But I wasn't really sure she'd be able to this time.

"Tomorrow, we'll have to find some way to sneak out so you can go to the clinic. They'll have to test you."

"I can't get caught or I'll have to explain what happened. I don't want to do that to them. They'd be crushed if they knew how much I screwed up this time," I cried.

"We'll have to be extra careful then. Or we could tell them there's a club thing at school," she suggested.

"They'd never buy it," I said. "Why don't I just wait until after I'm not grounded anymore? That way, they won't find out."

"I don't think it's such a good idea to wait so long," she said. "Do you?"

"I might not have anything at all," I said, wiping my cheeks off and straightening up a little. "Nothing's wrong with me, so why am I worrying?"

"Ever heard the expression 'better safe than sorry?' Of course, if you'd been safe to begin with, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Emma's the one who got me drunk. Believe me, I would've never had sex with Ashley if I hadn't been drunk," I said in an attempt to defend myself.

"I'm sure she didn't force the stuff down your throat. You chose to drink, and now you're paying for it."

"Everyone makes mistakes Alex, and this is the first big one I've made. So give me a break. I'll wait three weeks. If nothing has happened, I'll know I'm fine," I said, standing up. "Thanks for listening."

"Craig, I really think you should go sooner," she advised.

"Alex, I'm okay, really." I patted her on the shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too," she sighed, shaking her head.

* * *

By Monday I had convinced myself that I was STD free. Besides, if I did have one, I'd know by now. The thing with Ashley happened a whole week ago. Since then I'd gone out of my way to avoid her, but I wasn't so lucky that morning.

"Hey Craig," she said as she sat down next to me in homeroom.

"Hi," I replied. I drummed my fingers on the desktop and avoided eye contact at all costs.

"You coming to the party tonight?" she asked, leaning closer to me.

"Nope, grounded," I told her, suddenly becoming interested with the cover of my notebook. I counted the rings on the side in order to focus my attention elsewhere. That didn't work.

"But I'm sure you could sneak out," she said. "Besides," I could feel her breath on my ear, "I was hoping we could have some more fun."

Before I could answer her, she placed her hand in my lap and moved it slowly upward. She'd just reached a certain sensitive area when Sean walked into the room. I pulled my entire desk away and turned my back to her but it was too late. If looks could kill, I would have died on the spot. Sean walked up to my desk and stopped.

"Move," he said through gritted teeth.

"This is my seat," I told him, standing up. I was taller, but that didn't matter to him.

"I don't care. Move."

He pushed me in the chest, and if I hadn't caught myself on the desk behind me, I would have fallen on my ass. I pushed him back but he caught himself too. Moments later we were on the floor, punching and kicking blindly. A crowd was around us, chanting, but mostly for Sean. From what they'd seen, I was in the wrong.

I pulled my hand back and let my fist fly forward, connecting with Sean's left eye. Then I felt hands pulling me away. I wanted to get back to him and finish the fight, but whoever was holding me wouldn't let me.

I turned around and looked into the eyes of Emma's dad. Great, just great.

As Sean and I sat outside Ms. Hatzilakos' office, we were completely silent. That is, until he broke the silence and started talking to me.

"You picked the wrong day to piss me off," he said, looking over at me.

"Says the kid with the black eye," I replied, looking at his face. Sure enough, a nice black and blue mark surrounded his eye.

"I know that she screws around with everyone, but did you have to let her do that in the middle of class, where everyone could see? That shit only confirms the rumors."

"I didn't _let _her do anything. If I wanted to, I could press sexual harassment charges against her," I said, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, I'm sure that it really sucked to have a girl's hand on your dick," he said sarcastically.

"Seriously Sean, your girlfriend's a slut." I pulled away from him a bit and braced myself for a punch to the head, but it never came.

"I know," he said, sighing.

"Then why did you come after me?"

"I couldn't let everyone think that I just let guys sleep with her. They'll all know you had sex with her now too," he told me.

"Great. Strike two of the day. Hopefully it can't get any worse."

"Famous last words buddy. Strike three will be your suspension for being in a fight. A week without school does have its benefits though," he said.

"Not for me. It'll probably mean another month of being grounded."

"Let me guess, the first month is for having sex with Ashley; or being there anyway," he said, grinning.

"Yeah. Worst mistake of my life so far."

"She must not be very good in bed because everyone says that."

"You've really never had sex with her?" I had to ask.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Craig Jeremiah?" A voice called out.

"Well, here I go," I said, ignoring the fact that Sean hadn't answered my question. "Are we cool?" I asked, standing up.

"Yeah, I guess we are," he said, shaking my hand. "Good luck."

* * *

**A/N: If you watched the first episode of Degrassi, you'll know that I changed the Emma/Jordan thing a big by saying that he beat her. I wanted to make it more dramatic.**

**Thanks to Grifter and jeffrey for reviewing. (and everyone else who i've already replied to). **

** Next week I'll be on spring break so hopefully I'll get a lot more of this story finished.  
**


	6. First Date

**Chapter Six: First Date **

_**Alex**_

"What is wrong with you?" I asked Craig. He'd just gotten yelled at by my parents since our dad had to pick him up from school early. "You could've at least waited until after school to fight him, thus avoiding the suspension and extra two weeks of being grounded," I told my idiot brother.

"Hey, I thought I was going to get another month of grounding, so I'm pretty much satisfied with that punishment," he said, grinning.

"At least you're making me look like the better kid every day," I said. He hit me over the head with my pillow and laughed.

"You always were the better kid," he said quietly. All of a sudden the room was completely silent, and I felt bad for him.

"That's not true."

"Yeah Alex, it is. But hey, I'm okay with that. I know I fuck up all the time," he shrugged.

"Craig, I really think you should go to the clinic." His smiled faded and he stood up.

"I know what I'm doing. Don't bring it up again, okay?" he snapped, turning around and walking out the door.

I sighed and rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes. If he wouldn't listen to me, I'd call the only other person who could _always_ get Craig to listen. I dialed the number and waited to hear her voice.

"Hello?"

"Ashley? Hey, it's Alex."

"I'd know that voice anywhere," she said. "Miss me yet?"

"Of course I do. Got a new girlfriend yet?" I asked.

"No! You've only been gone a few weeks. I don't move on that quickly," she said. "So, what's up?"

"I called because I'm worried about Craig," I told her. "He slept with this random girl and he might have gotten something from her, but he won't go to the clinic," I explained. "I was hoping that maybe you could call him and talk to him."

"I can do better than that," she said. "Why don't I fly up there this weekend? Maybe I'll be more convincing in person."

"That sounds great," I said. A huge smile grew on my face. I couldn't believe Ashley would actually come to Canada. Maybe we'd be able to spend some time alone together. Maybe we could make a long distance relationship work. I never thought of it before, but Ashley had plenty of money; she could fly out every weekend.

"Do you mind if I bring a friend along? I was supposed to be spending time with him this weekend," she said.

"That's fine."

"I gotta go Alex but I'll be seeing you on Friday night!"

"I can't wait," I replied. "Bye."

I hung up the phone and screamed into my pillow. It was going to be a great weekend.

* * *

At lunch the next day, I sat at my regular table with Marco and Spinner, but we also had another addition; Ellie. It took all I had to keep myself from staring at her all through the meal. 

"This weekend is gonna be so good," Marco blurted out while we were eating.

"What are your plans?" I asked him.

"My parents are going on some trip together, and Manny's staying over. And make sure you're not around," he said, directing the second statement towards Spinner.

"Don't worry; I'm going to spend some time with the ex. Maybe rekindle a few flames. Or just have sex all weekend," Spinner told him.

"Thanks for the details," Marco said. "I'm gonna go run a few plans by Manny. I'll see you guys later."

"And I need to make sure my plans are holding up. Bye," Spinner said as they both left the table. I waved and smiled. Then I realized I was alone with Ellie. My stomach started flopping around. What should I say?

"Do you want to go to the movies or something on Friday?" she asked me. What? The movies? A date? Wow, don't get ahead of yourself, Alex. She's probably straight. When I didn't answer her, she kept talking. "You know, being friends with couples and horny boys gets pretty boring, especially on the weekends," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Wait, does that mean you're not into guys?" I asked her. Why did I just ask her that? I groaned on the inside and silently prayed that she didn't run away.

"What?" she asked, laughing and looking away.

"You were just complaining about horny guys so I was just wondering if you weren't into them," I said, shrugging, trying to play it cool. Hopefully she couldn't tell that I was nearly shaking.

"I'm into them," she said, looking down at the floor. "Just not…all the time."

My heart nearly leapt into my throat. Did she just say what I think she said?

"So you're bi?" I asked. She looked around before answering.

"Well…yeah, I guess so. But please don't tell anyone. Only Spinner knows," she whispered.

"Your secret's safe with me," I said, grinning. "So…Friday?" I asked.

"Yeah, Friday," she smiled. I loved her smile so much already.

Wait! Shit! Ashley is supposed to be coming on Friday night. Well, she probably wouldn't mind if I was home a little late. She is bringing a friend anyway. He can keep her company until I get there.

"I'll pick you up at seven," she told me.

* * *

"Where's your date? It's seven," Craig said from his spot on the couch. "How do you even get dates?" 

"First of all, she'll be here. And second, I don't even know if it's actually a date. And third, don't be bitchy with me just because you're grounded until you're thirty," I snapped.

"Chill out Alex, I was joking."

"Yeah, well joke on your own time."

"Honey, is this your first date since Ashley?" my mom asked as she walked into the room.

"Mom, don't start with that," I groaned.

"She an older woman too," Craig said. "Sixteen; a whole year older. And she has a _car_," he added.

"Does she really?" my mom asked. The doorbell rang, saving me from any more questions. Or so I thought.

My mom rushed ahead of me and opened the door.

"You must be Ellie," she said. "Come on in."

"Hey Alex," she said as she walked around my mom. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

"Is this Ellie?" I heard my dad's voice as he walked into the room. This could not get any worse. I looked over at Ellie and she was blushing. "You know, you're Alex's first date since we got here," he said.

"Dad! Okay, time to go," I said. "Mom, Dad, Craig, this is Ellie. See you later," I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the door.

"Be home by ten!" my mom called after us. As soon as we were out the door, I immediately started to apologize.

"I am _so_ sorry," I said as we walked to Ellie's car. "I never said anything about this being a date. I only told them we were going to the movies."

"It's okay. As long as none of them will say anything, I guess it pretty much is a date. I mean, you do like girls, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, laughing. "I don't like boys at all," I added.

* * *

I'm not even sure what movie we went to see because I couldn't pay attention at all. I kept looking at Ellie out of the corner of my eye and attempted to hold her hand a few times, but always chickened out at the last second. 

"We still have a half hour until you have to be home. What should we do?" Ellie asked while we walked out of the theater. I was thankful that she didn't ask me what I thought of the movie.

"We could go to The Dot," I suggested.

"That's okay. I think I spend enough time there," she said. I can't believe I suggested that. I always have the worst ideas.

"I have no idea then, sorry."

"I guess we could just drive around and talk," she said, shrugging. "If you don't mind."

"No, that sounds good to me."

We got in the car and Ellie just started to drive. We were silent for awhile, until she finally asked me something.

"So, have you dated many girls besides me?" she asked.

"Only one. Her name is Ashley." As I said it, I remembered that Ashley was flying in tonight. She was supposed to be taking a taxi from the airport and her flight got in at ten. Better not mention it; total mood killer.

"How did that go?"

"Well, it's a pretty funny story. Craig was actually dating her for a few weeks before I met her. I invited her over one night when Craig was out with her friends; I was just trying to make her feel welcome. And I guess she felt pretty welcome that night, because we ended up making out. And a few days after that, she broke up with Craig," I said, laughing a little.

"Aw, poor Craig. I bet that was a self-esteem killer," Ellie said.

"He was okay with it for the most part. He knew it couldn't be helped, but it did still offend him a little," I explained.

"So how long did you date for?"

"Eight months," I sighed. "And then we moved."

"Were you in love with her?" she asked me.

"I don't think so. I'm too young for love."

"I agree with you on that one," Ellie agreed.

"What about you?" I asked. "Any girlfriends?"

"No," she laughed. "This is the first date I've ever been on with a girl," she admitted.

"Then how do you even know you're bi?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" she asked. I noticed then that we pulled up to my house. I didn't want the night to end, but I was also relieved that I'd made it through my first date since Ashley.

"I promise," I said, nodding for emphasis.

"When we were twelve, Manny and I did a little experimenting. Nothing too graphic, don't worry. But we kissed a few times. Manny ended up being completely grossed out about it and started flirting with guys the next day. But I wasn't grossed out at all," she said.

"Did you have feelings for her?"

"No, not at all. Manny is and always will be my best friend. I never thought of her as more than that, but just those few kisses opened me up to the possibility of liking girls. I've had a lot of crushes, trust me, but I've only dated guys. I know my mom wouldn't approve at all."

"What about your dad?" I asked.

"My parents are divorced. I'd much rather live with my dad, but he doesn't live in the school district. So I only get to see him on the weekends."

"Well, I hope this was a good experience for your first girl date," I said.

"It was," she said, smiling. "Do you want me to make this really cheesy and walk you to the door?" she asked.

"I would love that."

We walked up to my door as slowly as possible and stopped right in front of it.

"Thanks for everything," she said.

"No, thank you. I haven't had such a good time since we moved here."

We stared at each other for a minute until we were both leaning forward. Her lips pressed against mine and I thought my knees were going to give out. I kissed her harder and cupped her cheek with my hand.

The door flew open and we stepped apart, but it was too late; she already saw.

"Alex?" she asked, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"Ashley? You're early!"

* * *

**A/N: I don't know if anyone reading this watches South of Nowhere, but Alex's ex Ashley and the boy she brings with her (Aiden) are the characters from that show. I don't own them; Tom Lynch does. **


	7. Mistakes Will Break Her Heart

**Chapter Seven: Mistakes Will Break Her Heart **

_**Craig**_

"Whoa! What a coincidence Alex! Your old girlfriend and your new girlfriend in the same room!" I said, laughing.

"Shut up Craig!" My mom, dad, sister, and Ashley all said at the same time. After Ashley caught Ellie and Alex kissing on the doorstep, Alex invited Ellie in to meet her. The boy that Ashley brought with her was standing in the corner, observing but staying completely silent. I guess he had the right idea.

"Ellie, this is Ashley," Alex said, introducing them. "Ashley, Ellie," she added. The two girls shook hands but weren't smiling.

"I've heard so much about you," Ellie said, trying to be nice.

"Really? Because I haven't heard a thing about you," Ashley replied, narrowing her eyes. Ellie pulled her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't realize everyone would be so immature," Alex said, throwing dirty looks at both Ashley and me.

"Yeah, I think I'll go now. I'll see you on Monday," Ellie said, heading for the door. Ashley watched in contempt as Alex followed her.

We all saw her kiss Ellie on the cheek and whisper in her ear. Ellie smiled and hugged Alex. I could tell that Ashley was getting even more jealous by the second. Her face turned bright red when Ellie gave Alex a little peck on the lips.

As soon as the door was closed, my parents quickly left the room. They knew that something bad was about to happen and that they needed to give us all privacy.

"What the hell was that?" Ashley snapped, walking over to Alex and looking her in the eyes.

"That was my date!" Alex yelled at her. "You had no right to treat her like that!"

"I can't believe you already have a new girlfriend. I thought that we had a chance to make this work. You invited me here and then you brought _her_ home with you!"

"First of all, I didn't invite you here. You invited yourself! All I wanted you to do was call Craig and talk some sense into him," Alex protested. As soon as I heard my name, I brought myself into the fight.

"WHAT?" I yelled. "Why are you even telling anyone my business Alex?"

"Don't be such a brat Craig. You need help, and since you wouldn't listen to me, I wanted Ashley to try to get through to you," she told me.

"I don't need help from either of you!" I snapped. I started up the stairs to get away from them.

"From what I've heard, you do," the kid in the corner said quietly.

"What the hell?" I asked, spinning around. "You don't know anything about me, kid. So why don't you mind your own fucking business."

"You told _him_, Ashley? Thanks a lot," I heard Alex say as I stormed up to my room. I slammed the door behind me and all I could hear were their muffled voices. I should've never confided in Alex, and I wouldn't have if I'd known she would tell everyone she knew.

_**Alex**_

Two hours after our fight, Ashley's friend Aiden was settled in on an air mattress on my bedroom floor. Since Craig wouldn't let anyone near him, and my parents knew I most definitely didn't like boys, they arranged for him to sleep in my room. Ashley was downstairs on the couch.

"I didn't mean to make things worse," he said suddenly as I was getting into bed.

"It's not your fault, trust me," I told him. "I shouldn't have told anyone about Craig's problems. I was only trying to help him. But Ashley also shouldn't have told you. She knew it wasn't something I wanted spread around," I added.

"Ashley's just been really down since you moved. I met her a few days after you left and she was miserable. When she heard from you, she was so happy to be able to come see you. I'm her only friend now, and she wanted to confide in someone. I'm not gonna tell anyone back home, don't worry," he explained.

"Well, either way, I guess I should apologize to Craig and then Ashley. I didn't mean to lose my temper. And I didn't mean to upset Ashley. It's just hard to sit around every weekend thinking about her and about being alone, so I went on one date. Ellie's not my girlfriend. To tell you the truth, I wanted to work things out with Ashley too. I'll be right back," I said.

I left my room and made my way down the hall to apologize to Craig first.

_**Craig**_

I never left my room after the fight. I didn't really feel like talking to anyone. Somewhere around eleven thirty there was a knock on my door. At first I didn't say anything; just waited for whoever it was to go away. But when the knock came again, more persistently this time, I gave in.

"Come in," I mumbled. I heard the door open but I kept my back to it.

"Craig? Can we talk?"

"Ashley?" I rolled over and faced her. "Yeah, I guess." She shut the door and sat at the end of my bed. "What's up?" I asked, sitting up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I only told Aiden because he's a really good friend of mine. He'd never tell anyone, I promise," she said.

"Alex is the one who shouldn't have told anyone," I grumbled. "I thought I could trust her."

"You can trust her. She cares about you Craig. And she's right; you should go to the clinic." She moved closer to me and put an arm around my shoulders. "I care about you too, and I don't like to see you hurt like this."

"I'm not hurt and I'll be fine. I told Alex there's nothing wrong with me."

"But you don't know that for sure. Will you promise to let us take you to the clinic tomorrow?" she asked.

"I don't know…" I turned and looked her in the eyes. "I need to think about it first." She nodded and hugged me. When we pulled apart, I sighed. "What if I have something and I can't ever kiss anyone or have sex again?" I'd always been comfortable talking about sex with Ashley. I laughed as I realized that the person I had sex with was the other Ashley.

"As long as you didn't, you know," she said, pointing to a low area on her body, "Then you can kiss anyone you want." She said, smiling. Before I knew it, she was leaning close to me and her lips were on mine. I still felt a little funny, but I kissed her anyway.

"Wait," I said, stopping for a minute. "What about Alex?"

"Alex has moved on, so I think it's time I move on too." Before I could say anything else, she kissed me hard. "And you know, we can do other things besides sex…" She slipped her hand down my boxers and I shuddered. "Only if you want to, of course," she grinned.

I nodded my head and she kissed me softly before pulling my boxers off. She wrapped her hand around my…

"What are you doing?" I heard a scream from the doorway. I pulled away from Ashley and covered myself up.

"Alex, wait!" I called after my sister. But it was too late. I heard her run down the stairs and go out the front door. "Shit!"

"It's okay," Ashley said, starting to pull the covers down. I felt the cold air hit me and came to my senses.

"No, it's not!" I yelled at her. "Get out."

"Fine," she snapped, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

_**Alex**_

It was freezing outside but I wasn't going back in for a sweatshirt. I pulled my cell phone out of my pants pocket and started to dial.

"I hope I didn't wake you up," I said to the person who answered. "Do you think you could come get me?" I couldn't stop myself from crying as I hung up the phone. Then the door opened and closed behind me.

"Alex?" Ashley whispered, walking up to me. She put a hand on my shoulder but I pulled away.

"You're full of shit!" I yelled at her, backing up. "You were so hurt that I went on one date that you had to jerk off my brother?"

"I was only trying to get him to listen to me and go to the clinic," she argued. "I thought that was what you wanted."

"Yeah, you really had to grab his dick to get him to listen to you! I thought you were a lesbian!"

"I am. And you know that the only way to get through to boys is with sex. I was showing Craig that he could still do stuff with girls even if he has something."

"Do you honestly think I'm going to believe that? Don't talk to me Ashley; I'm sick of your crap. And I'm not coming home until you're gone!"

"Don't leave Alex. Where are you even gonna go?" she asked me, reaching out to touch me.

"Don't even try that. I'm not like Craig; you can't reel me in with sex. And it's none of your business where I'm going."

I heard Ellie's car pull up and I gladly ran to it. I didn't want to hear another word of Ashley's lies. I got in and ignored her protests. As Ellie drove away I leaned my head against the window and cried.

* * *

When I woke up, I felt a hand running through my hair. I opened my eyes to see Ellie's looking back at me. I smiled and took her hand in mine. 

"Thanks for picking me up last night," I whispered.

"Any time," she replied.

There was a knock on her bedroom door and she pulled away from me. We both sat up and kept our distance from each other as who I assumed was Ellie's mom came in the room.

"I thought I heard you talking to someone," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Mom, this is my friend Alex. She had a fight with…her parents last night. It was pretty late so I just picked her up," she said.

"That's fine. I was just making sure it wasn't that boyfriend of yours," she said. "Alex, you can stay as long as you like, but only if you call your parents and tell them where you are."

"Thanks," I smiled at her. She left the room and closed the door behind her. "Your boyfriend?" I asked Ellie, facing her again.

"Nothing for you to worry about," she said, laughing. "We broke up two months ago but I never told my mom. She thinks I went on a date with him last night," she whispered.

"Oh," I grinned. I spontaneously leaned forward and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and brought me down on top of her. Our bodies pressed together as our tongues met. But then another knock at the door ripped us apart.

"Anyone want breakfast?" her mom called through the door. Thankfully she didn't open it.

"We'll be right there mom," Ellie called back.

"She doesn't seem so bad," I said. Ellie kissed me one last time before leading me to the door.

"That's because you don't _really_ know her yet."

_**Craig**_

"One of you better start talking now," my dad said to Ashley, Aiden and I. "Where is Alex?"

"She didn't want me to tell you," Ashley said finally. "But Ellie picked her up around midnight. She said she'd be home before you woke up." I could tell she was lying, but my dad couldn't. He trusted her.

"Why did you lie to him?" I whispered to her after he left the room angry. He was probably going to try to get Alex back home, and she'd be punished for something that wasn't her fault.

"Did you want me to tell him that she walked in on us while my hand was on…?"

"Good point," I cut her off. Aiden gave me a dirty look. "She started it," I pointed at Ashley.

"I can't believe either of you would do that to Alex. She was on her way to apologize to both of you," he said, walking away. I felt even worse about it after he said that.

"She's not coming home until I'm gone," Ashley told me. "So I guess I better start packing."

"Yeah, you better."

"Craig, just go to the clinic soon, okay?" she asked. I knew she was being sincere but I was still mad at her.

"Just go home Ashley."


	8. Sneaking Around Is More Fun

**Chapter Eight: Sneaking Around Is More Fun **

_**Alex**_

"I talked to my parents and they said I could stay one more night if it was okay with you," I said to Ellie's mom that afternoon.

"That's fine dear. I'm sure you can fit into some of Ellie's pajamas."

Of course I was lying to her. I'd only talked to Craig, and he told me my parents insisted I come home. They couldn't come get me since they didn't know where Ellie lived, and I knew they wouldn't look her up because they knew I was safe. I told Craig to make sure Ashley left before tomorrow.

"You ready?" Ellie asked me as she walked into the living room.

"Where are you girls off to in such a hurry?" Ms. Nash asked.

"To the mall," Ellie told her. "And then we'll probably get lunch at my torturous workplace since it's the only good place to eat in Toronto that we can afford."

"Well, have fun," she smiled. "I'll see you two later."

"Bye," we said together before hurrying out of the house.

"Do you think she bought it?" Ellie asked as we got into her car.

"Yeah. But how long do people normally go to the mall for? I never shop for fun unless it's to buy presents for people," I told her.

"Same here, so I'm not really sure. We'll get our lunch, go eat it, spend some time at the park, and then stop by the mall and buy some random shirts or something," she shrugged.

Ellie and I were really going on our second date. She planned it; a picnic at the park with takeout from The Dot. We couldn't actually tell her mom that's what we were doing, so the mall was our excuse. I wanted to really get to know Ellie; it was something I hadn't done before rushing into my relationship with Ashley. Everything was so new back then that I wanted to experience it all as fast as I could.

But it was different with Ellie. I already felt really close to her because of the night before. I think it might be that way for everyone when someone they like sees them go through an emotional experience like that. I was a wreck; I couldn't stop crying and Ellie just listened to me complain. She let me cry all over her shirt and then she talked to me until I fell asleep. Because of that one night, I felt closer to her than I had ever been to Ashley.

"I'll be right back," Ellie said, pulling me out of my thoughts. We were already at The Dot, and she went inside to get our food.

"Hey!" I jumped nearly five feet in the air.

"You scared the crap out of me Spin!" I said, turning to look out my open window.

"What are you two up to?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"We're just hanging out," I lied.

"Has she told you she's bi yet?" he asked, leaning in to whisper it in my ear.

"Yes," I said, grinning.

"So is this a date or something?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that," I told him. "What happened to spending the weekend at your ex's house?"

"I still am. I'm picking up our lunch."

"Who is your ex anyway?" I asked. I was definitely curious since Spinner never mentioned his name.

"He doesn't exactly want people to know that he was ever with a guy, so I can't tell you that," he explained.

"Fair enough. Are you having all that sex you planned on?" I joked.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that," he said, smirking.

"That means you're not getting any, doesn't it. Guys always brag when they get sex. Even gay ones!" He stuck his tongue out at me

"Hey Spinner," Ellie said as she got back to the car. She handed me the food and I put it in my lap. "Are you trying to kiss my date?" she asked him. I looked at her, surprised that she said that out loud to someone other than me.

"Ha, yeah right," he laughed. "You two have fun. But not _too_ much fun if it's only the first date."

"Actually, it's the second," Ellie said proudly.

"Well then forget what I said; you can do whatever you want!" he joked.

"Goodbye Spinner," I said, waving as we pulled out of the parking lot. He gave us a thumbs up before we drove off.

* * *

Ellie spread out the blanket that she had in her trunk and we sat down. She started pulling the containers out of her bag. She handed me mine and grinned. 

"It's a burger, medium-well with fries," she said. "I figured you liked it since it's what you ordered when I first met you."

"You remembered?" I asked. That was so cute, but I didn't say it out loud. I felt honored that she remembered what I ordered, especially since it was a week ago.

"Of course I did. I got the same thing, it's my favorite," she said.

"Me too."

As we ate, we started finding out things about each other.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked her.

"That's a tough one. I guess I'll have to say black. I don't wear it all the time; I'm not some depressive goth girl, but I just like black."

"That's not even a color," I pointed out.

"I know! What's your favorite color then?" she asked.

"Black," I replied, grinning. She nudged me with her elbow and playfully rolled her eyes.

"Okay, my turn. What's your favorite band?"

"I don't really have one. Everyone always give me crap for it. 'How can you _not_ have a favorite band?' It's easy—I just like to listen to a bunch of bands and I don't really favor one over the other," I explained.

"That's so weird. I don't have one either."

"Two points for you then," I said.

"And how many points do I have to earn for a kiss?" she asked. I grinned and leaned forward.

"Just two," I said. I made sure she didn't see what my hand was doing, and when we were only centimeters apart, I brought my hand up and stuffed a French fry in her mouth.

"But you'll have to catch me first!" I yelled, jumping up and running away from her.

So maybe it was completely lame and childish, but we had a lot of fun. Ellie chased me around the park for a minute until I ran into the woods and hid behind a tree. I lost sight of her and she somehow snuck up behind me, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me around.

"You scared the shit out of me!" I said.

"Sorry but that was to get you back for burning my mouth with that fry," she said.

"I can always make that feel better."

I lightly pressed my lips to hers and we kissed for a few minutes behind the tree. It felt so good to be with someone new, and at the same time, it seemed as though I'd known Ellie all my life.

"Okay, we should probably slow down a bit," Ellie said, catching her breath.

"That's fine with me," I said. I definitely didn't want to scare her away. "Should we go to the mall now?"

"Sure," she said, linking her arm through mine and dragging me back to the blanket. We cleaned up our trash and stuffed the blanket back in the trunk before heading to the mall.

* * *

We didn't do much shopping at the mall; we actually ended up playing a bunch of games at the arcade and trying out new lotions and perfumes. I made a note to remember Ellie's favorites so I could get them for her for Christmas. 

"I need a job," I said as we were walking out of a store I'd never heard of before.

"Well, I could get you one at The Dot, but you'd have to bus tables. They don't hire waiters or waitresses under sixteen," she told me.

"I don't think it would be a good idea to work together," I said, grinning. "I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all."

"Hmmm, you could always work at the food counter for the movie theater. This girl Paige works there."

"That sounds pretty good," I said, shrugging.

"Why don't you get an application while we're here," she suggested.

We made our way to the movie theater and I saw a blonde girl working behind the counter. She was cute, but not as much as Ellie.

"Is that Paige?" I asked.

"Yep. Hey Paige," Ellie said as we walked up. Paige immediately looked down at the counter instead of making eye contact with us.

"Don't worry, Manny's not with us," I said. She raised her head and smiled at me. "I'm Alex," I said, extending my hand.

"I've seen you around," she said, shaking it.

"Well, I'm looking for a job. Do you have any applications?"

"Sure." As she walked away to find one, I turned to Ellie.

"Manny must make her life hell," I commented.

"She's not so bad once you get to know her," Ellie said.

"Who, Paige or Manny?" I asked.

"Manny. I know she can be a real bitch sometimes, but she hasn't always been that way. I'm a little worried about her."

"Oh…" I wasn't sure what else to say, but thankfully Paige came back with the application.

"You can fill it out now and I'll make sure to get it to my boss," she told me.

"Thanks."

I filled out the application as quickly as I could and gave it back to Paige. Then Ellie and I decided to go back to her house.

"You didn't buy anything?" her mom asked when we walked in the door.

"Nope. But we did find a lot of good ideas for Christmas presents," I told her. It wasn't exactly a lie; I knew what I was getting Ellie already.

"Well that's good. I ordered a pizza for dinner. It should be here in a little while," she told us.

* * *

As soon as we were finished with dinner, Ellie and I rushed back to her room for a little privacy. We listened to some music and flipped through different television shows, but we eventually got bored and moved onto more fun activities. 

I was lying on my back and Ellie was straddling me, kissing my cheekbone and down my jaw line when her mom knocked on the door. She jumped onto the floor and ran to her closet before her mom got the door open.

"It's getting late," she said. "You should probably be going to bed soon."

"We are. I'm just getting Alex some pajamas," Ellie said. She walked back to the bed and dropped pink pants and a white tank top onto it.

"Okay then. Goodnight girls."

"Goodnight," we said at the same time.

Once her mom was gone, we both sighed with relief.

"We should definitely take it slow," I said, referring to what Ellie had said that afternoon.

"Definitely," she agreed.

_**Craig**_

Alex came home on Sunday morning with a huge grin on her face. She plopped down at the kitchen table like she'd never been gone. We all looked at her like she was crazy, but she didn't stop smiling.

"I take it you had a good weekend," I said, nudging her.

"Alexandra!" my mom snapped. "You had us worried. Why would you sneak off to Ellie's house like that? You know we would have let you go."

"No, you probably wouldn't have, since I'm into girls and so is she. Remember, you said I couldn't have sleepovers if they were gonna be like that," she said, rolling her eyes.

"And Craig can't have sleepovers with girls for the same reason," my dad said. "You still need to explain yourself. "You're grounded for a month," he added.

"That's not fair!" she shrieked. "How can you ground me when you don't even know what happened?"

I felt bad for her, but I wasn't about to blurt out my part in her leaving. I did not need to be grounded for another month. I still had about a month to go.

"Why don't you just tell us what happened then?" my dad suggested.

"You want to know what happened? I felt bad for fighting with Craig and Ashley, so I went to apologize to them Friday night. And when I walked into _his _room," she said, pointing at me. "He was making out with my ex girlfriend with no pants on. And she was jerking him off!" she yelled.

"I think we've heard enough," my dad said, holding his hand up. "You're not grounded Alex. But you!"

Great, here we go. I'm probably going to end up stuck in my room until I'm forty.

"I think we should let Alex decide his punishment," my mom interjected.

"Wonderful," I muttered.

"That's enough out of you," Dad said. "And I think that's a good idea."

"I think that Craig should have his door taken off his bedroom again. And he should have to help me plan activities for Equality Club. _And_ no allowance for a month," she added.

"Gee, thanks Alex."

"Just think, if I'd walked in any later, you probably would've been fucking her! And I thought Dad had 'the talk' with you. Apparently you weren't listening that day."

"Oh like you haven't had sex before!" I shot back.

"Alex, watch your mouth or you will be grounded!" my mom yelled. I smirked at Alex but Mom caught me. "And Craig, your door will be coming off after breakfast. And you'll be having another talk with your father after that," she said.

* * *

My second sex talk with my dad was just about as fun as the first. I was told that I'm too young to have sex, blah, blah, blah, and I should wait. I have all my life, etc, etc, and what would I do if I got a girl pregnant or got an STD? I nodded my head and agreed with everything he said. 

When he started talking about STDs though, I actually listened and was reminded of my issue that wasn't quite resolved. Even though I felt fine, I was still nervous about it. Maybe I should go to the clinic.

My mom told me that if either of us snuck out of the house like Alex did, we'd be grounded for three months without allowance.

Speaking of Alex, she still won't talk to me. I actually have a lot of things that I want to talk to her about, but she isn't in a very forgiving mood.

* * *

Monday was my last day of suspension, so I got to sleep in. I was lying in bed when I heard the door open and close. Great, Mom or Dad probably came home early to make sure I was sitting in my stupid room that didn't have a door anymore. 

"What happened here?" I heard a voice. Definitely not Mom or Dad. I rolled over to see Emma standing in my doorway in her pajamas.

"It's a long story. But what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm sick," she faked a cough into her hand and smiled. "I had to stay home. I would have done it earlier but I thought my parents would catch on if I was suddenly sick on your first day of suspension."

"You're a smart one Emma Nelson," I said. "Why don't you join me?" I suggested, sitting up.

She walked over and sat down on the bed next to me. We sat in silence for a minute and then she was on me, kissing my neck.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

"Do you like me?" I asked. I felt stupid asking it, but I needed to.

"Of course I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now."

"I just don't understand why you only want to kiss me or sleep with me. You haven't really tried to get to know me at all," I said. She frowned and got off of my legs.

"I thought it was what you wanted. All guys want sex; it's all they ever think about. And I figured I should give it to you or you wouldn't like me," she confessed. I felt so bad for her right then and I wanted to kiss her and make her feel better but I couldn't.

"No Emma, you don't have to give me anything. I like you, but I don't want to rush into anything. We can take our time, especially because of what happened to you," I told her.

"What happened to me? What are you talking about?"

"You know, when you were twelve…" she cut me off and jumped off the bed.

"Who told you about that?" she nearly yelled. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"That night I went over your house…I talked to Jay when…"

"He had no right!" she screamed. "And it's none of your business, Craig!" Tears were pouring down her cheeks. I tried to get up and wipe them away but she flinched when I touched her cheek. "Don't touch me!"

She turned and ran and I didn't stop her. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, so I just stood there like an idiot and watched her run down the stairs.

* * *

At school on Tuesday, Alex still wouldn't talk to me and Emma wouldn't either. I tried to track down Jay to ask for his help, but I didn't see him at all. During lunch I was sitting by myself, feeling like a freak, when Sean sat down with me. 

"Good to be back?" he asked.

"Not really. I screwed things up with Emma and my sister," I told him. "Why are you talking to me? Wouldn't it ruin your reputation or something?"

"Nah, I figure I'll just tell everyone you're gay and you were trying to experiment with Ashley, no big deal," he said. My face got hot with anger and I almost yelled at him, but remembered where I was.

"That's not funny," I spat, narrowing my eyes.

"Chill, it was just a joke. I just don't really care much what people think anymore. My girlfriend's a slut, I get it. The way I see it, me not having sex with her is a good thing. And I don't really care if people know that," he explained.

"Do you love her?" I blurted out. He gave me a look like I was crazy so I explained why I was asking. "I mean, you must really love her if you stay with her, even when you know she's slept with all the guys at the ravine."

"Yeah, I guess I do. We've been together for awhile now and sex didn't matter to her before. When it did start to matter, and I didn't want to do it, she got mad at me and slept with this one kid, thinking it would get me to screw her. When that didn't work, she just kept sleeping around and now here we are."

"Why don't you just break up with her?"

"I don't really know. I guess I don't want to lose what we have. When we're together, she doesn't even mention sex anymore. We have fun like we used to. But enough about that. We better start talking about something manly or I'm gonna hurl. You like cars?"

"Not really," I laughed. "I mean, I don't know much about them."

"Maybe I'll teach you some time. If you want to be friends, that is," he added."

"Sure, why not."

I wasn't sure why I agreed to be friends with Sean. I guess I didn't really have anything against him, but it was strange to be friends with the kid whose girlfriend I had sex with. Things were just getting weirder by the minute.

**A/N: Just to let everyone know, in chapter ten I'm going to start putting other people's POVs in besides the same old Craig and Alex ones. I just wanted to develop their characters a little before I added anyone else. **


	9. Something's NOT Always Better

**Chapter Nine: Something's Not Always Better Than Nothing **

_**Alex**_

"Fuck Alex! I fucking have something!"

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock by my bed. It was five in the morning and I still had another hour to sleep before I needed to get ready for school. I looked up to see Craig standing over me with tears running down his cheeks. Even though I hadn't been talking to him for the past few days, I knew that something was really wrong if he was crying. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I got something from Ashley. You were right, I should've gone to the fucking clinic," he cried.

"Calm down." I pulled on his arm so he would sit on the bed. "How do you know you have something?" I asked.

"It fucking burns when I pee!" he whispered loudly. And itches," he added. "What the fuck am I going to do?"

"Go get dressed. We'll make up some bullshit excuse about going to school early and go to the clinic first." He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You're such a great sister to me and I'm shit for a brother. I'm sorry you got me for your twin," he blabbed on and on. "I can't believe I've been so stupid. What's gonna happen to me?"

"It's gonna be okay Craig; really. You'll be fine and I'll help you get through this," I told him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I forgive you. Now go get dressed."

As soon as he left my room, I sighed and threw on a random outfit. I quickly brushed my hair and got my school stuff together. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I ran down the stairs. Craig was already down there, grabbing something quick for us to eat.

"They're not up yet," he whispered.

"Good."

I wrote a note to our parents saying we were walking to school and going early because there was an Equality Club meeting before homeroom. It was 5:30 by the time we got out of the house, so we had a half hour until the clinic opened.

As soon as it opened, Craig talked to the woman at the front desk and filled out some paperwork. Then we had to wait for someone to see him. By the time he was done getting tested, it was already 7:15. We only had fifteen minutes to make it to homeroom on time.

"What did they say?" I asked him while we were on our way to school.

"I definitely have something, and I'll find out what in three to five days. They're gonna call my cell phone and I have to go back there to get a prescription," he said, sighing. "I really fucked up." I reached out and patted his bag, then hugged him.

"Everyone fucks up," I told him.

* * *

"So, I was thinking we could have a third date this weekend," Ellie said at lunch. Marco was home sick and Spinner was waiting in line for his food. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her.

"Of course I am," she said.

"I just want to make sure that you actually like going out on dates with a girl," I said. "I like you Ellie."

"I like you too. And I like going on dates with you. I'm positive that I'm bi; I just don't want everyone to know yet. I'm not ready for that."

"You should join Equality Club. Straight people can go too, so no one would know."

"I don't know…maybe. I'll think about it," she said.

"Think about what?" Spinner asked, bringing himself into our conversation as he sat down.

"Ellie _might_ join Equality Club," I told him.

"You should! It's a lot of fun," he said.

"We were just talking about this weekend," Ellie said, changing the subject. "Where do you think we should go?"

"Let's go bowling!" he suggested. He obviously misunderstood that Ellie was talking about just the two of us. We exchanged furtive glances and I nodded at her.

"Sure," she said. "We should get more people to go; it'll be more fun that way."

"I'll ask Marco and Manny," he suggested.

"And I'll ask Craig. We can make teams."

"Great, I can't wait!" Spinner exclaimed. Ellie and I smiled at each other. We'd have to have some alone time another night.

* * *

"You doing okay?" I asked Craig that night after dinner. We were washing and drying the dishes together. 

"Not really. I just can't believe I was so stupid. I hate Ashley; how could she not tell me that she had something?" he whispered.

"Because she doesn't care about anyone but herself," I said. "You should do something fun this weekend. Ellie, Spinner, and I are going bowling. Spinner's asking Marco if he wants go to and I told them I'd ask you," I explained.

"I'm grounded, remember?" I asked her.

"Mom and Dad are going out, remember? We'll get you back in time, don't worry."

"Thanks, that sounds like fun. Can I ask Emma to come too? If she'll talk to me, that is."

"What happened between you two? I noticed her ignoring you this morning."

"It's a long story," he sighed.

"You really like her don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I know that she likes me, but I messed things up with her too."

"Just try talking to her. She'll forgive you, whatever you did," I told him confidently.

"I hope you're right," he said.

"Don't worry, I'm always right."

_**Craig**_

On Wednesday morning, I took Alex's advice. I got to school early and waited by Emma's locker to try to talk to her.

"Not now Craig," she sighed, turning away from me.

"You're not gonna even give me a chance to apologize?" I asked her. "You've been my only friend since I moved here and now all of a sudden you're shutting me out? Look, I shouldn't have brought it up at all, but it's not like I hurt you on purpose. And Jay was just looking out for you when he told me," I explained.

"This is not the time or the place to be talking about this," she snapped, slamming her locker.

"Is there some kind of problem here?" I heard a voice ask from behind me. Sure enough, I turned around to see Emma's dad standing there with his arms crossed. Strike two.

"No Dad, it's fine," Emma said. "I'll meet you behind the school during lunch," she said as she walked past us. As soon as she was gone, Emma's dad moved closer to me.

"Don't hurt her," he said before leaving me standing there staring after both of them.

* * *

I sat on the ground, leaning back against the building with my eyes closed. Emma was already fifteen minutes late and I thought she stood me up. But then I could tell someone was watching me. I opened my eyes and saw her standing there a few feet away. She walked over and sat down next to me. She stared straight ahead and wouldn't look at me, but at least it was progress. At least she was there. 

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling my knees up to my chest. I felt like such a girl, but Emma really did mean a lot to me and I didn't want to screw up our friendship—or whatever it was.

"It's obviously not your fault," she said, an annoyed tone to her voice. "I'm sick of people saying that they're sorry about what happened. It doesn't really help at all," she sighed. I could tell by the way her voice was shaking that she was crying, but I kept looking in front of me.

"Well, I shouldn't have brought it up at all. I just…"

"Wondered why I act like such a slut?" she asked.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"You were probably thinking it though. Everyone is. Everyone knows what happened to me and even three years later they still look at me like I'm some poor little kid. But I'm trying to put that all behind me," she said.

"I get what that's like—trying to put something behind you," I said. "I know it's not nearly the same thing, but when Alex first came out at our old school, everyone was so terrible to her. And one day after school, a huge group of girls attacked her. I stood there and watched. I was taught not to hit girls and I just watched my sister get beat up. Everyone on Alex's side thought I was a monster for letting it happen. And I know I should have done something, but I didn't. I'll never forget the way everyone looked at me after that."

"At least you got to leave your problems behind when you moved," Emma said, sighing.

"Emma, I really care about you, and I don't want to lose you," I said, finally looking at her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and her makeup was running all over her face.

"I'm not a slut," she whispered. "I just feel like I need to give guys what they want so it won't happen again."

The look on her face after she said that told me it was the first time she ever said it out loud.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. Just say that we can be friends again." It was definitely corny, but it was how I felt.

"What if I want to be more than friends?" she asked, finally looking over at me. I moved closer and wiped the mess off her face—tears and makeup—and smiled at her.

"We'll take it really slow. I promise," I told her.

"Really slow?" she asked. I nodded and she smiled back at me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close to me.

"I promise it'll never happen again," I whispered.

* * *

So Alex was right; Emma forgave me. She also agreed to go bowling with all of us on Saturday. It turned out being me, Alex, Ellie, Emma, Jay, Spinner, Marco, and Manny. We split up into teams of Alex, Ellie, Spinner and Jay against me, Emma, Marco, and Manny. Yes, Emma did make up with Jay for the most part and invited him so we'd have even teams. But she did refuse to be on the same team as him. 

"This is a lot more fun than I thought it would be," I told Spinner as I sat down next to him. We were the only ones left in the area. The girls all went to the bathroom together—even Manny, who was playing nice—and Marco and Jay offered to get some food for all of us.

"Same here, although it would be nice to actually have someone here _with _me. If you pair everyone up, Jay is my date," he joked. "He's a little cute, but definitely not my type." I laughed and shook my head. "I'm serious," he said.

"I know; that's why I'm laughing."

"Hey, I got a favor to ask you," he said.

"Ask away. As long as it doesn't involve sex or something," I added quickly. This time it was Spinner's turn to laugh.

"Nothing like that, don't worry. It's just that I was talking to Alex and she said you're really good in math, which happens to be a subject I'm terrible at. I'm failing, and I won't pass this year unless I pass math. I've been looking for a tutor, but apparently, no one wants to help me either because they're bad at math or because I'm gay. Either way, I don't want to stay back because of some stupid numbers," he explained.

"How were you tutoring Alex in Chemistry if you can't pass math? Isn't Chemistry all math?

"Actually, I was tutoring her in naming chemicals. No math involved," he said, grinning.

"So you want me to tutor you?" I asked. He nodded and grinned. Then he stuck his bottom lip out. "I don't know…"

"I'll pay you five dollars an hour. I know it's not much, but I don't actually have a job," he said.

"Fine, I'll do it," I said. We shook hands on the deal just as the girls were getting back to the table.

"Is there something you need to tell me Craig?" Emma asked, nodding her head towards Spinner.

"Very funny," I smirked.

"Emma, I'm the gay twin, remember?" Alex said. "But he _could_ be bi," she added.

"I'm not bisexual," I said, crossing my arms. I hated being the center of attention, especially if it was when I was being made fun of. "Let's just finish and get out of here.

"Chill out dude," Spinner said, clapping his hand down on my shoulder as he stood up. "We still have that date though, right?" he joked.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

"Craig's tutoring me in math," he told them.

"Awww that is so cute," Manny squealed.

"What's cute?" Marco asked as he walked up to us.

"Nothing," I snapped. "Can we just get on with the game?"

* * *

"The clinic called," I told Alex. I'd asked her if I could speak with her privately at lunch. 

"We'll go after school," she said.

"What about Equality Club?" I asked her. "Don't you have an important meeting?"

"Craig, you're more important to me than a club. We'll go after school, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by, which wasn't really good for me at all. I was so scared to go, especially since I already knew I had something. I met Alex outside the school and we walked to the clinic in silence. It took almost a half hour, and by the time we got there, my hands were shaking.

"Good luck," she whispered, patting me on the back when they called my name.

I felt so awkward and embarrassed as I talked to the doctor and I got out of there as quickly as I could with the little piece of paper in my hand.

"So…" Alex said as we walked back out of the building.

"I feel disgusting Al," I told her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Chlamydia," I whispered, shaking my head. "We have to go to the pharmacy. I have to take doxy something or other for a week. Twice a day!" I added.

"Let me see," she said, grabbing the paper from me. "Doxycycline," she read off of it. "It's not so bad Craig. Just think, in a little over a week, you'll be done with it. And you better be done with all of that for good," she added.

"I am; don't worry. I'm gonna give Ashley a piece of my mind too."

"Good. She deserves it."

"Alex, thanks for helping me out. I've been a dick to you, and I'm really sorry. We used to be best friends and now we're drifting apart, and it's all my fault."

"Don't worry about it. Everyone goes through tough times. And you can have more than one best friend you know."

She hugged me and mussed up my hair.

"I still love ya, kid," she added.

"I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: I know the ending was a bit corny there but siblings can be corny lol…I know my sister and I are sometimes. As promised, next chapter will have other POVs added. And it will skip forward a bit to when Craig isn't grounded anymore. Please review and let me know what you think! **


	10. Breaking

**Chapter Ten: Breaking **

_**Craig**_

I took all my medication for that stupid STD and it thankfully worked. I waited until I was all clear to bitch Ashley out; something I did in the privacy of the alley behind the school. She actually tried to get me to go back to the ravine with her. I walked away, glad that I wasn't as ignorant as she was. And now I'm finally free!

My last day of being grounded was Tuesday night. On Wednesday I had to help Alex and the rest of the Equality club plan for a day of silence they were holding. They were going all out—making and handing out fliers and t-shirts—and I had to find a company to make the shirts for a good price. Then on Thursday night, I actually sat down and did all my homework. Emma came over to study, and we stayed at the kitchen table upon Emma's request—not my parents'. She invited me over to her house for dinner the next night.

My last class on Friday went by way too slow. I ran out of the school and headed straight home—I'd been walking to and from school for awhile now because it gave me some time to think—and I didn't have to wait for Alex because she was getting a ride with Ellie (and they were making a pit stop anyway).

I was only a few blocks from the school when I heard someone driving up behind me. I turned around and saw Sean. I waved as he pulled up to the sidewalk. He got out and walked towards me.

"Hey Sean," I said. But the look on his face wasn't friendly at all. He came at me and shoved me so hard that I fell. "What the hell is your problem?" I yelled.

"You gave her Chlamydia?" he yelled right back. I stood up and got in his face.

"WHAT?"

"You gave my girlfriend a fucking STD. That's not fucking cool," he shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about? She gave it to ME!" I screamed.

"That's bullshit Craig! Ashley slept around but she was always safe. She didn't have anything!"

"You keep telling yourself that," I spat. "But we all know the real truth."

That earned me a punch in the face. I couldn't see out of my right eye but at least he didn't break my nose. Instead of punching him back, I just turned around and walked away. I knew it would piss him off more than anything; he wanted a fight.

I also knew he wouldn't just let me walk away. I felt his hands on my back as he pushed me to the ground. I just lay there and let him jump on me, punching me repeatedly. I didn't do anything at all besides lie there. I was paying myself back for not helping Alex that day she got beat up.

"Hey!" I heard someone yell. "Stop!"

By then my eyes were closed and I felt like I was going to pass out. I felt someone pull Sean off of me but I didn't know who it was. I didn't hear anything they were saying to each other, but eventually I did hear a car speeding away.

"It's safe to open your eyes," whoever it was said from above me. I opened my left eye—since I couldn't open the other one—and looked up. I saw Jay standing there. He extended his hand and helped me up.

"Thanks," I muttered before I kept walking. I only got a few steps before I almost fell down again.

"Hey man, you okay?" he asked me.

"I'm fine." I leaned against a tree for support.

"Come on, I'll help you get home," he said, grabbing my arm.

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped, pulling away from him.

"Okay, so you don't like to be touched. How about I walk next to you in case you pass out. Is that okay with you?" he asked, stepping back a little.

"Whatever," I grumbled. I hated the fact that Jay helped me. I wanted Sean to just beat the shit out of me so I'd know what it felt like to be Alex that day; and Emma the day she was almost…

"So why was Sean trying to kill you?" he asked me suddenly.

"That's not really any of your business," I said. "Why did you even help me?" I asked.

"That's not really any of your business," he told me. I had to laugh at that.

"You're full of shit, you know that?"

"So are you."

We walked all the way home in an awkward silence and went our separate ways when I got to my steps.

"Hey Jay!" I called after him across the street.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

He grinned and walked away down the sidewalk. I think I just made a _real _friend.

_**Jay**_

"So you _actually_ have another friend besides me now?" Paige asked. I'd visited her at work a few hours after I found Craig getting his ass kicked.

"Very funny Paige. And you _still _only have one friend," I shot back.

"I don't care. One really great friend is a lot better than a million shitty ones," she said, smirking.

"I still feel shitty for not inviting you bowling the other night," I told her. "Emma didn't even want me to go. She asked me as a last resort to make even teams."

"It's okay. Bowling and I don't really mix anyway. Besides, I know you'll make it up to me. Is Emma still pissed at you for telling Craig?"

"Yep. She forgave him _and_ she's dating him but she can't forgive me? Girls really suck sometimes."

"Yeah, so do boys."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "You want to stay over tonight? My mom said she didn't mind. Of course, she doesn't really make decisions like that anyway."

"That sounds better than sitting around with Steve," she admitted. "I'll take that offer. Can you bring me by my house to get some stuff after I'm done here?"

"Sure. Call me when you're ready to go."

* * *

I invited Paige to stay over my house as much as I could. Steve, her stepfather, was a real jerk and I knew she hated being around him. I felt really bad for her. She used to have everything she could ever want. Of course, that was way back in middle school. It was only about three years ago, but a lot can change in three years. 

Paige lived with both of her parents. They were great people; they always looked out for her and gave her everything she needed. Her dad was a cop and her mom was a teacher. But during the summer after seventh grade, her dad was shot and killed on duty.

Paige and I were best friends back then too. She and her mom took his death really badly. Her mom stopped going to work and started going to bars. Paige locked herself up in her room most of the time and wouldn't even talk to me. I finally got her to talk to someone about it, and she slowly got better. She accepted the fact that he wasn't coming back, but he loved her and he would always look out for her.

Unfortunately, her mother didn't take it so well. She did eventually get a new teaching job, but she still went to the bar every night. The year we started high school, she met Steve, and they got married two months later. Ever since then, he's made Paige's life hell, but she still hangs in there. And my mom loves her, so it's much better if she just stays at my house.

* * *

While I waited for Paige to get out of work, I decided to go to The Dot. Since I'd turned sixteen a few weeks before, I'd been looking for a job but hadn't found a decent enough one. I figured I'd try to be a waiter or a cook. When I got there, I walked up to the register where that redhead Ellie was standing. 

"Loser alert," I heard someone comment from the nearest table. I didn't have to look to know it was Manny, but I just ignored her.

"Do you have any applications?" I asked Ellie.

"Looking for a job?" she asked. I nodded my head and shoved my hands in my pockets. "Well, good because my boss has been complaining for the past few weeks that we need a new dishwasher. I know it's not that glamorous, but it pays pretty well," she said.

"I'll take whatever you can give me." I wasn't exactly looking forward to washing dishes, but a job was a job.

"Good, put him back there with the rest of the scum. I definitely don't want druggies serving me food," I heard Manny say.

I turned and glared at her but I didn't say anything. I knew about people like her. She just wanted me to react, to yell at her, or even run at the table, just so she could prove a point. I knew I didn't do drugs and that was enough for me.

"Don't mind her, she's on her period," Ellie whispered, grinning. "Here," she handed me an application. "Just find me when you're done and I'll get it to the boss."

"Thanks," I said, taking it from her. I grabbed a pen from the cup by the register and sat down to fill it out. Ellie walked over to Manny's table and sat down with her.

"I'm on break," she announced.

"It's about time. You would've been sooner if that loser hadn't held you up," Manny commented.

"Manny, give it a rest. I'll kill you if you scare off prospective employees; and so will my boss," Ellie said.

I smiled to myself as I filled out the paper in front of me. Manny started gossiping about some other subject and left me in peace for the rest of the time that I was there.

_**Alex**_

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked Craig when he stumbled into my room.

"Sean beat the crap out of me," he said. He had two black eyes and little cuts on one of his cheeks. "He had a ring on," he explained, pointing to the cuts.

"Anything broken? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"I may have brain damage, but I probably wouldn't know," he said, wincing as he sat down on my bed. "Okay, so maybe I sprained an ankle when I fell. But I'll survive."

"Why did he even go after you?"

"He's under the impression that _I _gave his girlfriend an STD."

"You want me to clear things up? Or kick his ass?" I asked him.

"No. I just want to be done with this. But could you call Emma and tell her I can't make it tonight? I really don't want her to see me like this."

"If you're going to cancel on her, then you can call. But I suggest you go. She's not gonna care what you look like. Stop acting like a girl."

"I will when you stop acting like a boy. You're not my brother so you don't have to beat people up for me," he said. I laughed and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Just go to dinner and stop worrying about what people think. And get out of my room because I have to get ready."

"Another date with Ellie?" he asked. Before I could say anything, he cut me off. "Don't try to deny it again. I know you're dating her, and I won't tell anyone. I just never thought you'd go for a closeted person."

"It's fun sneaking around, trust me. Besides, I'm not going to deny feelings just because people don't know she likes girls too. It's not like we make out in public," I said.

"Good point. Safe sex Alex, remember that."

"Gee thanks. From the poster boy himself," I joked.

"Just get ready for your date," he told me, giving me a quick hug before leaving the room.

* * *

"So, we've been dating for about a month now…" I whispered. We were eating dinner at a nice restaurant. 

"Yes, we have. How very perceptive you Alex," she said, smiling.

"So…I was wondering if…you'd want to be my girlfriend." I finally had the courage to ask her, although the look on her face wasn't so promising.

"Well…" she trailed off. She looked around to make sure no one we knew was there, then reached across the table and took my hand in hers. "I really love spending time with you. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to take that kind of step."

I slowly pulled my hand away and leaned back in my chair.

"I'm sorry Alex. But no one knows about me. And I don't want to have to make you sneak around just to be with me. We already do that, but I don't want to make you do that even more. It's like you'd have to go back into the closet, ya know?" she asked.

"I don't care where I have to go. I just want to be with you. Really _be _with you. I'll sneak around forever; I don't care," I said. I tried to make it seem like I wasn't begging, but it was pretty hard.

"I just need more time," she said.

_**Paige **_

Jay picked me up when I called him and we stopped by my house to get my stuff. I prayed that Steve wouldn't be home, but sure enough, I could hear the TV as soon as we walked in the door. I told Jay to stay in the car so we could make a quick getaway; but I also didn't want him to be in there if Steve was. It was just so embarrassing.

I managed to sneak through the living room without him noticing. It wasn't too hard; he usually passed out before I got home from work, which was why I picked late hours. I got up to my room and started to pack a bag.

"Where are you going you little bitch?"

I whirled around and there he was, standing in my doorway. He had a cigarette resting in his lips and a beer bottle in one of his hands.

"I'm staying at Jay's," I snapped. I turned around and kept shoving things in my bag. It wasn't long before I felt a hand on my butt. "Leave me alone asshole!" I yelled. When I turned to face him again, he blew smoke in my face.

"Don't call me names Paige. Your mother would not like to hear that," he said with a smile on his face.

"Oh right, you can call me a bitch but I can't call you an asshole. Just shut the hell up Steve and go drink yourself to death."

"Paige, Paige, Paige. You know how horny you make me when you get angry," he said, grinning and leaning towards me.

"Get away from me!" I screamed. I tried to push him off but he was on me anyway, pressing his lips onto mine. I pulled away as much as I could, but he knocked me down onto the bed. His beer was gone—probably turned upside down on my carpet—and his cigarette dangling in his hand.

"Paige, you know you want me. Just like your mom does."

He held my arms down and started to kiss me again. When he shifted his weight, I brought my knee up into his groin. He groaned and held a hand to it, freeing one of my arms. The moment he looked back to me, I pulled my arm back and let it fly forward, connecting with his nose. He yelled and stumbled back. As soon as the rest of my body was free, I stood up and grabbed my bag.

Steve was doubled over, one hand to his crotch and the other to his nose. I saw blood dripping off his face.

"Do me a favor," I whispered in his ear. "Don't get too much blood on the carpet. And if you do, make sure you clean it up."

He tried to swing at me but I easily dodged him and ran straight out to the car.

"It's about time!" Jay called. I got in as fast as I could. My hand hurt like hell but I hadn't realized it until we were speeding away. "What the hell happened to your hand?"

"I think I just broke Steve's nose!" I yelled over the music.

"I hope you didn't break your hand in the process," Jay answered, turning the music off. I shrugged my shoulders and grinned.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think of the different POVs. **


	11. Betrayal

**Chapter Eleven: Betrayal **

_**Emma**_

"What happened?" I ran over to Craig as soon as my mom let him in. His face was all messed up and he was limping. I hung up his jacket and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Don't worry about it. We are going to have a good time, regardless of what happened, okay?" he said sternly. I slowly nodded my head and linked my arm through his, leading him to the dining room table. A little family dinner was one of the steps that Craig and I were taking towards a heavier relationship.

"Are you okay?" my dad asked Craig when he sat down.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling to add emphasis. My mom walked in the room and joined us at the table.

"So Craig, how do you like Degrassi so far?" she asked him.

"Mom," I complained, sighing.

"It's okay Emma," he said. Then he turned back to my mom. "I really like it a lot. _Most _of the people are really friendly. I'm doing well in every class except math, and I've joined a few clubs," he told her. I could tell he was trying really hard to please both of my parents.

They made small talk all through dinner. I joined in on a few subjects, but I mostly just sat back and learned more about him. I was glad to have something normal happen with a guy for once.

* * *

After dinner, Craig offered to help me clear the table and wash the dishes. My parents went into the living room to watch TV and we set to work. 

"How about I wash and you dry," I suggested.

"Sure," he shrugged.

We stood in silence for a few minutes. When the dishes were about halfway done, I stopped.

"Craig, what happened?" I asked him. I reached for his cheek and lightly stroked it. He didn't flinch but I could tell he was in pain.

"Why don't we go for a walk when we're done? That way we can talk without being interrupted," he said.

"I'd like that."

"You know what I'd like?" he asked.

"What?"

"For you to finish washing!" He dipped his hand in the sink and grabbed a bunch of soap bubbles, quickly tapping them onto my nose.

"You're gonna get it!" I yelled, splashing some water back at him. A few minutes later, both of our shirts were wet and Craig leaned forward to kiss me.

"I'll finish up in here," my mom said from the doorway, completely startling both of us. We jumped apart and Craig looked down at the floor.

"We're going for a walk," I said, grabbing Craig's hand and leading him out of the kitchen. We stopped by the door; put on our jackets and left as quickly as possible.

_**Marco**_

I sat at The Dot for a long time before I finally let myself understand that she'd actually stood me up. Manny had never done that to me before. We had a date and we were supposed to meet there around six for dinner. I waited until almost eight o'clock. I felt like an idiot as I walked out.

What if something happened to her? I should have called ten minutes after I got there. She could have been in a car accident. I frantically dialed her cell phone number and it went straight to her voice mail. Not a good sign. I tried her house number and her father picked up on the third ring.

"Hi Mr. Santos, it's Marco. Can I please speak to Manny?"

"I'm sorry Marco but she doesn't want to talk to anyone," he told me.

"Is she sick?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so. She just told me that she didn't want any calls."

"It's just that she was supposed to meet me at The Dot at six for dinner and she never showed up," I said, sighing.

"Why don't I ask her if she wants to talk to you?" he offered.

"That would be great, thanks."

I waited a minute as I heard him call her name.

"Daddy I said I don't want any calls!" she screamed. It sounded like she was crying. Her voice suddenly got louder, so he must have gone into her room.

"It's your boyfriend honey," he said calmly. I knew if I talked to my father like that, he'd probably slap me. "He was really worried when you didn't show up for your date."

"Give me the phone," she snapped. "I don't want to talk right now," she said to me.

"Manny, what's wrong? You didn't show up tonight and now you're upset. What happened?"

"Nothing happened, okay? Please don't bother me; I'm just really tired. I have a bad headache and I don't feel like talking. I didn't come to dinner because I wasn't ready on time. I'll talk to you later," she said. I could tell she was lying, but why?

"Do you want me to come over?" I asked.

"No!" she shouted. "Goodbye Marco."

The dial tone echoed in my ear as she hung up on me.

_**Craig **_

"Ready to tell me what happened?" Emma asked. She was holding my hand as we made our way to the park. "Who did this to you?"

"Sean," I admitted. "I don't understand it at all really. One minute he's my friend and the next, he's beating the crap out of me," I sighed. "He knew I had sex with Ashley."

"Did he find out about the…you know…?"

"Yeah. I guess that's why he did it. She told him that I gave it to her! And he believed her! After all the cheating she does, he still believes her about this? It's unreal."

"Well, he probably still feels like he should protect her. Do you want to press charges?" she asked.

"No. There's no reason to make him even more pissed off. Besides, I'd do the same thing. Of course, I never would've been friends with any guy who slept with my girlfriend in the first place."

"How did you even get home? I bet you were really messed up right after it happened." We walked into the park and sat down on the swings.

"Jay," I said.

"What?"

"Yeah. Jay's the one who stopped Sean. And he walked home next to me in case I passed out or something. I guess we're sort of friends now."

"Oh please! He probably only did it because he wanted to earn brownie points with me or something. Jay butts into my business way too much," she groaned.

"He's only trying to protect you. He's actually a good guy," I said.

"You don't know him like I do Craig," she said with an annoyed tone. "Trust me. He doesn't ever talk to anyone. He comes over my house once in awhile to snoop around and dig up all of our problems. I don't really even consider him family. I mean, my mom's brother is his dad, but he's not around at all. My mom said that he's basically a loser and he never wanted to be a part of Jay's life."

"That's really sad," I commented.

"No it's not. Jay always said he doesn't need a father; that he never wanted one anyway. I've never even met his mom! Some cousin. My mom said that he's protective of her or something," she rolled her eyes. "It's not like she's a kid. My guess is that she has some kind of drug problem or something."

"Emma, you're being really insensitive. I can't imagine life without my dad. And if his mom's messed up, that's got to be even worse," I pointed out.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "We just get into so many fights that we can't seem to get along. He hates me, so I just kind of reflect the hate back at him."

"Hey, why don't we go get some ice cream?" I suggested, happy to move on to another subject.

"Sure. Anything to stop talking about Jay," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me off the swing.

_**Paige**_

Jay insisted that I go to the hospital to get my hand looked at. I didn't want to have to explain myself, but he came up with some lie about me punching the wall when I got pissed at him for making fun of me.

Surprisingly, the doctor bought it—I just think the guy didn't really care one way or the other; he just wanted us both gone quickly—and sure enough, I broke three of my fingers _and_ sprained my wrist. I had to get a stupid cast, but it was definitely worth it. Jay was the first—and probably only person—to sign it. He wrote 'cheers to the champ.'

"My mom's gonna be pissed when she finds out about this," I said as we got back in the car.

"You're actually going to tell her?" he asked me in a surprised tone.

"No, but Steve will. He'll do anything to pit my mom against me, I thought you knew that already," I said, sighing and resting my head against the window. A few minutes earlier, I'd felt triumphant for my battle wound; but it'd finally sunk in that I wouldn't be able to get out of this one.

"Are you joking Paige? You actually think that Steve is going to tell your mom that you beat him up? A grown man would never admit to a teenage girl breaking his nose. He'll probably make up some story about a bar fight and how he was defending her honor. She'll think he's her hero and that'll be the end of it," he said.

"You're probably right. She won't even notice my hand in a cast since she comes home from work and goes right into the fridge for a beer. Then she gets drunk and forgets all about me," I said. A few tears fell from my eyes, but I wiped them away before Jay could see.

"At least your mom _has_ a job," he said.

"Can we stop for some food? I'm starving," I said, changing the subject.

"Yeah but let's make it quick. I want to get home soon. This is the longest I've ever left her," he told me.

"I'm sure she's fine."

_**Ellie **_

As soon as I got home from my date with Alex, I went straight to my room. I didn't like it when my mom asked me too many questions after dates. She still thought that I was dating my ex-boyfriend and I wasn't about to break the news to her yet. Things were getting serious with Alex.

I lay on top of my bed and stared at the ceiling for a little while. All I could think about was Alex, and how I pretty much turned her down. That's probably the way she saw it anyway.

I just don't know if I'm ready for this. Alex is the first girl I've been with, and if she's my actual girlfriend, I'll have to come out. I won't make her sneak around all the time. It's not fair to her at all. I care about her, so I want to be fair.

But I'm not sure if I really want to come out. I know that none of my friends would really care, not even Manny. She doesn't make remarks about Spinner, so why would she say anything bad about me?

It's my mom that I'm worried about. Ever since my dad left, she's been a total bitch. Well, she was one before that too. I could see why he left her, especially since she cheated on him countless times anyway; but I was still mad at him for leaving. He moved to the states so I don't get to see him at all. I only get spontaneous visits and letters every so often. But I think he'd be cool about it.

Since I wasn't getting anywhere with trying to decide, I put my favorite CD on and started to draw along to the music. It was something that always helped me clear my thoughts.

I drew for nearly an hour without actually concentrating on the sketch pad. I let the music run through my fingers and into the pencil. When I was finished, I turned the music off and saw what I'd drawn.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed her number.

_**Jay**_

"Hey mom!" I called when we got in the apartment. "I'm home! And I brought Paige with me!"

"Jay! She's probably in bed," Paige hissed. "It's almost midnight."

"We would've gotten here sooner if you hadn't decided you wanted food from two different places. Fast food is all the same," I complained.

"I still don't think you should wake her up. You and I both know that if she wakes up she won't go back to sleep," she said.

"Well, I'm going to check up on her anyway. You can go to my room and do whatever it is you need to do before bed," I told her.

I walked down to the end of the hallway and quietly pushed the door open. My mom was such a light sleeper that she usually woke up if it gave the tiniest of squeaks.

My entire body filled with panic the moment I saw that her bed was empty. I checked the bathroom and kitchen before jumping to any conclusions. I ran as fast as I could to my bedroom and pounded on the door.

"I'm naked!" Paige screeched.

"I don't care. My mom's gone!" I yelled. I heard Paige shuffling around and she finally opened the door a few seconds later.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she's gone! She's not in the fucking apartment Paige!" I screamed. My face started to get hot and I could feel the tears coming.

"What about Susan? Where is she?" she asked. She always was the calm one out of the two of us.

"I don't fucking know!" I yelled.

"Calm down. Call Susan. Maybe she had an episode and she had to take her somewhere."

"Good idea," I said, swallowing hard. I desperately tried to calm myself down by taking very deep breaths. I dialed Susan's number and waited. As soon as she picked up, I started to freak out again. "Where are you?" I shouted.

"I'm at home," she said. I could tell she'd been sleeping by the softness of her voice.

"Where's my mother?"

"Relax Jason; she's asleep in her bed."

"No, she fucking isn't! Why the hell would you leave her?"

"She fired me," Susan replied, yawning.

"She can't fucking make the decision to fire you and you know that!" I screamed.

"Jason, to tell you the truth, it's just gotten to be too much. I need my own life too. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I'm not paid enough and I don't have time to myself anymore. I waited until your mom was asleep to leave. Check under the bed; you know she goes there when she's scared or upset." I slammed the receiver down and turned to Paige.

"Can you go look under her bed?"

She ran off to the bedroom and went inside. She came back out shaking her head.

"She's not there Jay. I'm sorry."

"Well then where the fuck is she?"

_**Alex **_

My phone rang around eleven thirty. I saw that it was Ellie and answered it a little too enthusiastically.

"Hello?" I practically shouted.

"Hey Alex. I know it's kinda late to be calling, but I just can't stop thinking about our dinner tonight. I was wondering if maybe you could come over for a little while so we could talk," she said. How could I turn that down?

"Hold on, let me go ask." I left my cell phone open and slipped it in my pocket. Then I ran downstairs where my parents were curled up on the couch, watching some old movie. "Can I go to Ellie's?" I asked.

"Alex, it's eleven-thirty; it's too late," my dad said.

"Please?" I begged. "We have something really important to talk about."

"You can't walk there now," my mom said.

"Can you give me a ride? Ellie will bring me home. I promise I'll only be gone for an hour. It's just really important."

My parents exchanged glances and my dad grabbed the remote and paused the movie. He stood up and grabbed his keys from the coffee table.

"I'll take you," he said. "I'll be right back," he told my mom.

"Thanks dad!" I squealed, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him." I pulled the phone out of my pocket. "I'll be over in a minute!" I told Ellie.

"I'll see you then," she said.

"Okay, bye."

My dad opened the door to leave and we found Craig and Emma standing on the steps, kissing. Dad cleared his throat and they jumped apart.

"Hey Dad," Craig said. His cheeks were turning bright red.

"I think it's time to come in now. Emma, you're more than welcome to visit for a little while if you want. But no bedroom," he added, giving Craig 'the look.'

"Where are you guys going?" Craig asked us.

"Ellie's. She wants to talk," I said, grinning.

"Good luck," he told me.

"Thanks."

* * *

"Hello Alex, it's nice to see you," Ellie's mom greeted me at the door. "You can just go straight to her room. She told me you had stuff to talk about. I hope you're not fighting," she said. 

"No, we're not fighting," I said, suppressing a grin.

"Well, go on then. I don't want to delay you any longer."

I slipped in past her and walked down the hall to Ellie's bedroom. I knocked on the door and she opened it. She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside, then shut the door behind me. She kissed me then—right up against the door.

"What was that for?" I asked, smiling.

She walked over to her bed and I followed her. We sat down together and she sighed. I wasn't sure if it was a happy sigh or an overwhelmed sigh. I think it was a mixture of both.

"Alex, I love our dates and I love spending time with you. I also love kissing you. And I also know that if I'm officially your girlfriend, I'm gonna have to come out. And I'm gonna need your help."

She looked so cute when she was concerned. I leaned forward and kissed her softly.

"I would love to help you," I told her. "Hey what's that?" I asked. I saw an open sketch book at the end of her bed.

"Nothing!" she said, grabbing it and closing it.

"Was that me? Let me see," I tried to get it from her but she put it behind her back.

"It's not done yet," she said.

Then she took me completely by surprise when she threw the sketch book to the floor and pushed me down onto my back. She kissed me hard and slipped her tongue in my mouth.

"Should we be doing this here?" I whispered.

"I don't care," she said back, kissing me again.

After a few minutes, I found my hands sliding up her shirt. We'd never even gotten that far before. I didn't care what Ellie and I did, as long as we could be together, but it was a nice change. I pulled her shirt off over her head and she did the same with mine. We kissed like that for a few more minutes before I started to take her bra off. She pulled my hands away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You first," she said. Her cheeks turned pink and I could tell she was embarrassed.

"We don't have to do this Ellie," I said, putting a hand on her cheek. "Not until you're ready."

"I am. I just want you to take yours off first," she said, giving me a small smile.

I sat up a little and took my bra off. Ellie gasped a little and stared.

"Something wrong now?" I asked as I lay back down. I felt completely comfortable around her.

"No. I've just never…" she didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she took her own bra off and looked at my face to see my reaction.

"You're beautiful," I told her. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her down on top of me. Our half naked bodies were pressed together as we kissed. It was one of the best feelings in the world. I completely forgot about the time I was supposed to be home and just focused on Ellie.

I'd just started to unbutton her jeans when the door popped open.

"Alex! Your dad is…"

"Mom!" Ellie yelled, pulling her shirt off the floor to cover her chest.

"What the hell are you doing?" her mom screamed, dropping the phone on the floor. "What the fuck are you doing to my daughter?" she yelled at me. I scrambled to get my shirt on and pulled my bra off the floor.

"Mom, she's my girlfriend!" Ellie screamed. She was already crying, and I suddenly knew why she told me her mom was so horrible.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" her mom yelled at me.

"Ellie, I'm sorry," I said. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek; I didn't really see the harm in it since her mom had already seen us.

"GET OUT!" she yelled, louder than before.

"Mom, you can't treat her like this!" Ellie yelled at her mother. I watched as her mother ran at her and slapped her across the face.

"You little bitch! How could you do this to me? I want you out too!" she screamed.

"What?" Ellie cried.

"Now. Both of you. OUT!"

I grabbed Ellie's hand and dragged her out of her bedroom. She stopped in the living room to put her shirt on. She couldn't stop crying and I had to half carry her out to her car.

"I got your keys," I whispered, breaking the silence of the night outside. Ellie was leaning against the car, sobbing. "I'll drive," I said.

I helped her get into the passenger seat and put her seatbelt on for her. I saw her mom screaming over the phone and glaring at me through the window before I pulled out of the driveway.


	12. We Can't Do This

**Chapter Twelve: We Can't Do This **

_**Emma**_

"What's he doing here?" I asked my mom when Jay walked into the house with a duffel bag. His eyes were red like he'd been crying. He'd do _anything_ for sympathy.

"Honey, Jay's going to be living with us," she said.

"WHAT?" I screamed. "You can't be serious!"

"Calm down," my mom snapped. She got really angry and it scared me. "His mom had to go live somewhere else. We're his family, so he's staying here. I don't care if you don't want him to; it's not your decision to make."

"Hmm, let's see. She probably went to rehab!" I crossed my arms over my chest and walked towards the stairs.

"Shut the hell up Emma! You don't know anything about her!" Jay snapped.

"That's not MY fault, is it?" I snapped right back.

"That's enough Emma," my mom said sternly. She turned away from me and lost all her anger when she looked at Jay. She hugged him tightly and smiled at him. "Snake and I will fix up the basement for you. Do you mind the couch until then?" she asked.

"Good, cause he's not getting my room!" I yelled before I stomped up the stairs to finish getting ready for school.

"Snake's taking the day off on Wednesday so we can go to your house and get everything. Why don't you stay home from school too and help," I heard my mom say before I slammed my bedroom door.

I called Craig and asked him to walk to school with me so I could vent. He assured me that everything would be fine and also said that I should be nice to Jay. I hung up on him and left before he even got out of his house.

_**Ellie**_

Last night was terrible. I never stopped crying all weekend and woke up Monday morning with a huge headache. The only good thing was that I was allowed to stay in Alex's bed with her both nights. She lay next to me the entire time I slept and kept me warm. I felt really safe, but I couldn't stop thinking about my mom.

My own mother—the woman who had given birth to me; the woman who told me she'd never stop loving me, no matter what—kicked me out of my house because she saw me half naked and making out with a girl.

I knew that she didn't like gay people, but a small part of me hoped that she would make an exception for her own daughter. I guess that small part was wrong.

Right after I got ready for school, I met Alex, Craig, and their parents in the kitchen for breakfast. It was the first time I'd left Alex's room since I got there around one in the morning on Saturday. They had such a great family that I got jealous really fast.

"Ellie, honey, are you okay?" Caitlin asked me as I played around with the milk leftover from my cereal.

"Yeah," I sighed, forcing a smile. "I'll be fine." Biggest lie of the century.

"You can stay here as long as you need to," Joey offered. "I can talk to your mom for you if you want. She didn't have very nice things to say to me last night, but maybe I can get through to her," he said.

"No, that's okay. I'll try to talk to her after school; hopefully she'll have calmed down by then. I have to go there to get some more stuff anyway."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Alex asked.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," her mom interjected. Alex made a face at her but I nodded my head.

"She's right. I can go alone, it'll be okay."

_**Manny **_

I unsuccessfully avoided Marco at school on Monday. He was waiting by my locker when I got to it.

"Are you okay?" he asked right away.

"Just skip hello," I said sarcastically. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good morning," he said.

"Too late," I rolled my eyes and opened up my locker.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. "Seriously Manny, just tell me what's wrong. I want to help."

"I want you to leave me alone, and you're not! That's what's wrong," I yelled suddenly. I looked around to see if anyone heard me, but thankfully, no one was around.

"What did I do to make you act this way?" he asked.

"You're smothering me." I'm pretty sure it was our first fight since we'd gotten together a year and a half before.

"How am I smothering you? I left you alone all weekend after you wouldn't tell me why you ditched me. I want to know what's going on. Manny, I love you and if something's wrong I want you to tell me so I can help you."

"You can't help me so just FUCK OFF!" I screamed.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me. I could tell he was really upset and confused but I didn't have the patience for any of it.

"Because that's who I am," I said, slamming my locker and walking away.

* * *

"What's up with you and Marco?" Ellie asked me on the way to our math class. 

"Nothing's up; why do you ask? I lied.

"Bull shit Manny. The two of you are usually making out in the middle of the hallway every time I turn around, and now you're both avoiding each other," she said.

"He's just gotten so clingy lately and I told him I needed a little space, that's all."

"Oh," she said, apparently buying it. We stopped outside the classroom to keep talking; we had a few more minutes until the bell.

"What's going on with you?" I asked, turning the conversation around. "Why are you so upset?" She sighed, and then looked down at the floor. When she looked back up at me, she had tears in her eyes. "Ellie, what is it?" I asked, suddenly very concerned for my best friend.

"My mom kicked me out," she whispered, letting the tears spill over.

"Why would she do that? You're a good kid. Did she actually have a reason?" I asked.

"She walked in on me and someone else. We were half naked and making out, and she flipped out," she explained.

"But why? People make out; people have sex. I can't see why your mom would kick you out just for that. Ground you, maybe; but kick you out?"

"It was because of the person I was with."

"Who was it?" She paused for a minute. The bell rang and she tried to move around me but I grabbed her arm.

"It was Alex," she said quietly—so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

"Alex who?"

"Jeremiah."

"But El, that's a girl," I said. What was she talking about? She nodded her head and it hit me. "You're a _lesbian_?" I hissed.

"I'm bi, okay?" she snapped.

"What the fuck Ellie? Why didn't you tell me?" I nearly yelled.

"Girls! Class already started, in case you didn't notice," Mr. Armstrong said from the doorway. I ignored him and glared at Ellie. I leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"Did you know that when you kissed me a long time ago?" I asked.

"Girls."

"Because that's really messed up if you did," I said when she didn't answer me. "I can't believe you!"

"Do you want a detention?" Mr. Armstrong asked. Ellie suddenly stormed off, past me and the teacher. "Ms. Nash!" he called after her. "Get into the classroom," he said to me. I watched as he tried to go after Ellie.

"I'm gonna be sick!" she yelled, completely faking it. He turned around and I followed him into the classroom, feeling disgusted.

_**Craig**_

"Do you get it now?" I asked Spinner. It was our fifth tutoring session and we were holding it at his house instead of mine. I'd filled him in on the Ellie situation since they were friends, and told him that she probably needed some alone time. I thought that tutoring would be really boring, but I found out that Spinner was actually fun to hang out with. Friend number three.

"Yeah, I think I do," he said. He started writing the problem out on his paper. When he finished, he slid it towards me. "How's that?" he asked.

"That's actually right," I said.

"Don't act so surprised that I'm smart," he joked.

"Don't be so sensitive, gay boy," I said. I was only joking too, but he got off his bed and walked over to the window. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. I love gay people! I was only joking around."

"It's okay," he sighed. "I guess I am a little over sensitive. Do you want to take a break and go outside? It's too nice to sit in my room all afternoon."

"Sure." I stood up and walked to his door.

"Hey Craig," he said when I had my hand on the knob.

"What?" I asked, turning around. He was right behind me.

Before I even knew what was going on, his lips were pressed to mine. I let him kiss me for a moment before I realized what was happening. Then I shoved him off me.

"What are you doing?" I yelled.

"I thought that…" he trailed off.

"I have a girlfriend!" I yelled. "I'm not gay! And I'm not your tutor anymore either," I told him, leaving the room and slamming the door behind me.

I was thankful that he didn't try to follow me. I got out of his house as fast as I could; quickly thanking his parents for letting me come over. As I walked down the street, I turned around and looked into his bedroom window. He was looking out of it, watching me walk away.

_**Jay**_

"I think it's time that Emma met my mom," I told Spike while I helped her get dinner ready.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I really am."

"Okay. We'll have to work something out then."

"Talking about me again?" Emma asked as she walked in the room. I rolled my eyes and walked past her to get napkins to put on the table.

"Emma, the next time Jay visits his mom, you're going with him," my aunt said.

"No, I'm not," she protested.

"This is not debatable," Aunt Spike sighed.

"Whatever. I'm sick of you taking over everything, Jay," she snapped at me. She left the room before her mom could yell at her.

"I'm sorry Jay," she said to me.

"It's okay, really. She just doesn't understand. Give her some time," I said.

_**Alex**_

Joey told me all the crap Ellie's mom said to him on the phone the other night. I felt horrible that I'd gotten all of us into this situation. My relationship with her was bittersweet. I couldn't completely comfort her since I didn't really know what she was going through.

Ellie's mom said that I corrupted her and I forced her to take her shirt and bra off. She said I was disgusting and I needed to be dealt with properly. She also told my dad that he must have raised me wrong if I turned out gay. I couldn't believe how ignorant she was. It made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

"Hey," Ellie said softly from the doorway. I looked up and smiled at her as she joined me on my bed. She sat next to me; our knees touching.

"How'd it go?" I asked as soon as I realized she must have gotten back from her mom's house. "Did you leave your bags downstairs or something? Joey said you'd have to stay in the family room on the pullout. Or you could have my room and I can sleep there."

"Alex, slow down," she said.

"Sorry." I knew I was talking too much, but it happened when I was really nervous. "I know this is really hard for you and I can't help but think that it's my fault. I'm just glad you're here with me."

I leaned forward to kiss her but she pulled away. Suddenly, our knees weren't touching anymore. My stomach flopped.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I reached up and ran my hand through her hair but she turned her head away from me.

"I'm not staying," she whispered.

"What? Where are you gonna go if you're not staying here?" I asked.

"Back home," she told me.

"Really? Your mom wants you back? That's great Ellie," I said, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her. She didn't pull away but she didn't hug me back, either.

"Yeah, I guess it is. But..."

"But what?" I asked. My stomach started to flop around again.

"She told me that I could come home as long as I stopped seeing you."

"And you agreed?" I asked, hurt.

"Alex, she's my mom. I can't lose her. I can't feed off of your parents when I have one of my own who's willing to take me back."

"But you can lose me, right? Do you even care about me at all?" I asked, tears running down my cheeks.

"Of course I do; that's why I'm doing this!" she protested.

"Bullshit Ellie. You did this for yourself!" I yelled.

"Alex…"

"Just go! Go back to your bitch mother who doesn't give a shit about the person you _really_ are!" I screamed.

"I'm sorry!" she cried.

"LEAVE!"

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter will take place on Saturday of the same week. I have a lot of stuff to add in here so I'm not sure how many chapters there will be. I'm planning on thirty right now, but that could change. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! **


	13. It's Too Late Now

**Chapter Thirteen: It's Too Late Now **

_**Emma **_

"We're here," Jay said. I opened my eyes and looked around. The building we were parked by was small, but there were a lot of people going in and out.

"Where exactly is here?" I asked.

"You'll see."

"Or maybe I'll stay in the car. You can't make me go."

"Emma, what exactly is it that you have against me? Or against my mom? I won't make you come in, but I honestly don't know why you won't give us a chance," he said, sighing.

"You always come to my house and take over! My parents obviously think you're this great person and that you're better than me. I'm sick of having to prove myself to them over and over again. Yeah, I get it, you're perfect and I'm not. I just can't take it anymore," I told him. "Every time you're around I feel like I'm worthless. Does that make you happy?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. We sat in silence for a minute and I wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't believe that I'd said it to him. I'd felt that way for a long time and never said anything to anyone.

"That doesn't make me happy Emma. I care about you; you're family. I've never tried to make you feel that way," he told me. "I'm far from perfect Em. Nobody's perfect. You should know that by now. All I wanted you to do was meet my mom so that you would be able to understand the situation better. I won't force you to go with me. But that doesn't mean I won't see her."

He got out of the car and started walking towards the building. I instantly felt like shit for treating him so terribly, but I still didn't understand him or know if he was being genuine.

"Jay, wait!" I yelled after him as I got out of the car. He stopped until I caught up with him.

"Change of heart?" he asked.

"We'll see," I told him.

* * *

I followed Jay into the building. He stopped by the desk and I looked around a little. I knew right away that it wasn't any kind of rehab—it looked more like some kind of group home. 

"We're here to see Elizabeth Hogart," he told the lady in the front office.

"I believe she's watching TV. Her favorite show is on," the woman said with a smile.

"Thanks. Come on Em, the living room is down the hall."

A lot of people we passed by waved excitedly to both of us. Jay said hi to a few of them—I assumed he knew them from the first visit he made. My stomach started to feel queasy. I felt even worse for the way I treated Jay in the past because I could tell just by looking at the people we passed that they were all mentally retarded. And when his mom turned to face Jay after he called her name, I saw that she was too.

_**Ellie**_

I sat on the couch on Saturday afternoon, staring at my own reflection in the television. I couldn't believe how crazy the previous weekend had been.

"Here honey, your favorite," my mom said, handing me a cup of hazelnut coffee.

"Thanks."

"Ellie, you know I love you, right?" she asked me.

"Of course mom," I said. I pulled my legs under me and took a sip of the coffee.

"And you understand why I was upset?"

"Not really. Mom, if you love me, you should love _everything_ about me," I said.

"I do. Honey, you're not gay. It's just not _normal_. Women are supposed to be with men and only men. I'm sorry that Alex corrupted you and made you think you wanted to be with her," she said.

"I'm sorry too."

"So you agree with me that it was all a mistake?"

"Yes, it was."

"Glad to have the real you back then," she said, kissing my forehead.

"Thanks for the coffee. I have to get ready for work now."

"I love you Ellie."

"I love you too mom."

_**Marco **_

I was actually surprised that Manny showed up for lunch. We met at The Dot, like we always did (aside from the week before when she never showed).

All week she'd been avoiding me. After the scene in the hall on Monday, I didn't really want to talk to her anyway, but I still found myself worried about her. There had to be some explanation for the way she was acting.

We sat across from each other and stared over one another's shoulders. I wasn't sure how I could ask her anything without upsetting her again. Ellie took our orders a few minutes later, but all Manny asked for was a water.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"I just ate at home, actually," she said in an irritated tone.

"Why did you eat when you knew we had lunch plans?" I asked, equally irritated.

"Because we need to talk," she said. She reached across the table and grabbed both of my hands in hers.

"So you're finally going to tell me why you've been acting so crazy?" I asked.

"I haven't been acting crazy. I've just been stressed. Most of the stress is coming from this relationship. It's just too much for me; I'm sorry," she said.

"What do you mean? How is it too much for you? It's not like I demand things from you or make you spend all your time with me. We don't even have sex anymore!" I whispered.

"I just can't do this, okay? I'm sorry Marco, but I'm breaking up with you."

"What?" I couldn't believe it. Just because we'd barely spoken in a week, that didn't mean I saw it coming. Manny took me completely by surprise. She stood up and walked out of The Dot before I could get another word in. I ran out after her and caught her before she got into her car. "Manny, wait!"

"I don't have anything else to say to you," she said. I kissed her to shut her up and to try to prove a point. When we broke apart, she looked into my eyes while tears formed in hers.

"You can't tell me that you didn't feel anything just now," I whispered.

"Yes, I can," she said, pulling away from me and getting into her car. As she drove away, I saw her break down and cry. That pissed me off more than the fact that she broke up with me. It pissed me off because I knew she was lying.

I stomped back into The Dot. Just as I was sitting down at the table, Ellie brought my food over.

"You okay?" she asked.

"How much of that could everyone hear?" I asked, sighing.

"Not much. But it's pretty clear what happened since you chased her out of here, kissed her, and she sped away."

"Great. Well, thanks for the food."

"You want me to pack it up for you so you can eat it at home?"

"Nah, that's okay. It'll help me calm down if I stay here."

She walked away to help another table and I started in on my meal. About ten minutes later, I noticed that girl, Paige, sitting alone at a table. She looked upset. I remembered that old saying, 'misery loves company' and picked up my food.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked when I got to the table. She jumped, startled—must have been deep in thought—then looked up at me and smiled.

"Um…sure," she said.

"You can say no if you want," I said, laughing a little. "But I promise I don't bite."

"It's fine, really. I'm just a little preoccupied. And I'm confused as to why you want to sit with me."

"Misery loves company, right? You looked a little upset."

"I'm just worried about Jay. He's my best friend—well, my only friend, really—and he's going through this tough time with his mom," she explained.

"Well, consider me a friend too. If you want, anyway. I could use a couple more myself," I said truthfully. Ellie and Alex were caught up in some big drama, Spinner was still lusting over some guy but wouldn't tell me who, and now I didn't really have Manny anymore.

"Why are you miserable?"

"Manny just broke up with me. She's been acting really crazy and then suddenly, BAM! I'm single again."

"Sorry to hear that. You guys looked perfect for each other."

"Well, looks can be deceiving I guess," I sighed.

Our conversation eventually branched off into a bunch of different things, and we were laughing together by the end of the meal. We almost went our separate ways, but I realized she was going to walk home and offered her a ride.

**_Emma _**

"Now you know, she's not a drug addict," Jay said quietly as we walked to the car. After his mom's favorite show—Instant Star—we visited with her for awhile. She was really funny and I could tell that Jay loved her so much. I still felt terribly guilty though.

"I'm sorry Jay, really," I said. I felt so embarrassed.

"It's okay. You didn't know," he said.

"That almost makes it worse," I groaned. "What happened to her?" I asked. "I mean, was she always…?"

"Yeah, she was born with a mild form of down syndrome. Her mentality is about that of a ten year old and it always will be. Do you want the full story?" he asked me.

"If that's okay with you."

"It's fine. Basically, when I was born, I lived with my mom and my grandmother. My mom's dad died before I was born. But when I was nine years old, my grandmother died. By then, my mom had this aide, Susan. She came over every day and took care of her and took her out to have fun. She left around dinner time, so I made dinner for us every night. I took care of her when Susan couldn't.

"Your mom found out about my grandmother three years later. I didn't tell her because I didn't want to be taken away from my mom. I convinced her to let us stay together, and she set up a bank account with money for groceries and other necessities and told me that if I ever needed help to just ask. About a year after that, Susan started working less—only until I got home from school—so I took care of her more.

"Last week I went out to the mall to bring Paige to work and then to The Dot to try to get a job. Paige and I stayed out late—I thought it would be fine since I'd asked Susan to come over and stay with her for the night. But apparently my mom fired her, which Susan knows she can't do, and Susan just left. She left her all alone and my mom was scared. Any kid would be scared being left alone for the first time. So she tried to come and find me. Some guy found her wandering around in her pajamas and brought her to the police station. And they took her away.

"I don't know what to do now. I've taken care of her for seven years. Now that she's in that home, it's easier for me. I don't have to look after anyone. But I'm so used to it that I miss her. And I feel horrible," he sighed.

"She seems happy there," I said, trying to make him feel better.

"I know, but it's just not the same as being home with me. I'm the only family that she's known."

"Do you mind if I ask…what does my uncle have to do with this? I mean, he's your dad, isn't he? But how?"

"My mom went to a normal high school that had a special program. Your mom and uncle went to the same school."

"To Degrassi?"

"Yeah," he said.

"So…"

"One day after school, when she was eighteen, she was attacked by a group of boys. Your uncle—my father—was one of them. And he raped her."

_**Alex**_

I still can't believe that Ellie did that to me, that she just went running back to her mom and agreed to forget all about me. I know she felt something and she knew I wasn't corrupting her. I decided to try to talk to her, a little more peacefully this time, so I went down to The Dot since I knew she was working. I took a table in her section and waited.

"Can I help you?" a waiter asked me a few minutes later.

"Where's Ellie? This is her section, isn't it?"

"Yes, but she's busy right now. I'll be your waiter for this evening."

"You're joking, right? There's no one here!" I stood up and walked around the guy, then went to the register. "Ellie!" I yelled in the direction of the office in the back. "I just want to talk to you, please!" I practically begged.

"Ma'am, if you're not going to eat anything, I'll have to ask you to leave," the waiter said, appearing at my side.

"What the hell is wrong with you people? I just want to talk to her. Can you go get her?" I asked him. "Please."

He walked away and into the back room. I waited a few minutes, hoping that Ellie would come out, but instead, it was the manager who decided to make an appearance.

"If you don't leave, we'll have to call the police to escort you out," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Fuck you lady! All I wanted to do was talk to her!" I screamed. Tears started dripping down my cheeks by then. "Tell her that she can go fuck herself! And make sure you ask her if this is all worth it!" I yelled before I left.

* * *

**A/N: I don't know much at all about Down** **Syndrome, so sorry if the little bit of info about her mentality being that of a ten year old is incorrect. I know this chapter didn't have that much in it, but I'll have more in the next one, don't worry. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Any predictions about what will happen next? **


	14. Right Where You Left Me

**Chapter Fourteen: Right Where You Left Me **

_**Paige**_

"Do you live here alone?" Marco asked when we walked in. Luckily for the both of us, it didn't look like Steve was home. He must have been at the bar or out sleeping with some other woman.

"Of course not. I live with my mom and my step dad," I told him. "Steve is a major dick, but luckily I know just how to take care of him."

"Is that what happened to your hand?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" I asked.

"I promise. Unless he was hurting you…"

"No, nothing like that. He just really pissed me off. He likes to get drunk and call me a bitch, along with some other stupid names, and I punched him in the face last week. Broke his nose, and some of my own fingers," I said, not telling the exact story. I'd gotten really good at lying and Marco believed me.

"Lucky he didn't press charges," he said.

"He'd never admit a girl beat him up," I said, echoing what Jay told me that night.

"Anyway, I have a feeling he'll be leaving me alone now."

"So…" Marco trailed off, looking around. "Want to give me a tour?"

"Sure."

I walked through the house, showing him everything, but skipping over my mom and Steve's room in case he was passed out in there. We ended up in my room, which didn't surprise me, though I was feeling a bit nervous because Jay and Steve were the only guys who'd ever set foot in my room.

I didn't expect anything to happen between Marco and me; especially since Manny _just_ broke up with him and he was really in love with her. I also didn't care if anything ever happened between the two of us. It looked like Marco would be a really good friend, and I didn't need to mess up something like that either.

_**Jay**_

I really did like my new room at Emma's house. All of my furniture from my old bedroom had been moved in there. It was also a lot bigger and I had my own bathroom. There was a window that would be useful for sneaking Paige in at night; that way she could still stay with me and I wouldn't have to explain why she can't stay at home. But the best part about the room was that I didn't have to worry about paying for it.

I went upstairs to find Emma—we bonded on the drive home from visiting my mom—but I stopped on the other side of the door. I could hear Emma calling her parents in so she could talk to them. I knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop but I heard her mention my mom's name.

"What is it honey?" my aunt asked. I heard my uncle walk into the room and chairs scraped the floor as they all sat down at the table.

"I think Aunt Liz should come live with us," Emma said a moment later.

"I'm sorry, but…"

"Jay really misses her. He doesn't deserve to be separated from her," she said, cutting my uncle off.

"Like your dad was going to say, we can't afford it," Spike said.

"How can you not afford it if you were sending money to Jay every month?"

"We sent what we could, but we both knew it wasn't enough. Jay was probably too proud to tell you, but they were on welfare. We just don't have enough money to support two extra people."

"We love having Jay here with us, but to add another person into the household would cost more for food, clothing, sitters, and probably a lot more," Snake added.

"You're being really unfair," Emma protested. I could imagine her crossing her arms over her chest and refusing to look at them.

"No, we're not. Have you even though about Elizabeth?" Spike asked. "I'm sure she misses Jay too, but he can visit her whenever he wants. Emma, she has friends in her new home. She has things to do everyday. Jay was doing an amazing job taking care of her, but now she has to do more than sit with someone like Susan who obviously doesn't care for her very much," she explained.

Emma sighed and apparently gave up. She stopped arguing with them and I waited a minute before I went into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table alone.

"Jay, I tried to get my parents to let your mom move in here, but they said no," she told me as soon as she saw me.

"They're right," I said. As much as I didn't want to admit it, it was true. "I love my mom but I know she's better off now. I just didn't see it before. But thanks for trying; it really means a lot to me."

"Could you let me know when you're going to see her again? I'd really like to go," she said.

"Definitely."

I leaned down to hug her and realized when she hugged me back that we were actually going to be friends.

**_Marco _**

I don't know how it happened, I honestly don't. I never planned on doing anything with Paige, but things just escalated.

After we got up to her room, she closed the door—in case anyone came home. She sat on her bed and I walked around the room, looking at all the photos and posters on her walls. We talked some more about anything and everything that we could think of. After awhile I sat on the bed with her while we talked, and then she kissed me.

"We don't even…know…each other…that well," I said between kisses. One of my hands was on her cheek and the other rested on her leg.

"I've know you…for a long time," she replied. "We just haven't…spoken…in awhile," she breathed out.

"Like ten years."

"Yep, since Kindergarten," she smiled. We continued to kiss and I eventually started to pull her shirt off. I looked down for a split second—to finish pulling it over her head—and I stopped completely. I started at her stomach and gasped.

"Paige," I said, looking up at her face. She'd had her eyes closed but she snapped them open. I reached out to touch one.

"STOP!" she screamed. It was almost as if she was frozen. She didn't move, and I stopped moving. "Get out, Marco. Just pretend you didn't see that!" she cried. Tears were already falling down her cheeks.

"Who did that to you?" I asked. "Did Steve do it?"

"JUST FORGET IT!" she yelled, louder than before. "Get out of my house!"

"Paige!" I protested. "Tell me who…" she cut me off before I could finish my sentence. Her shirt was back on in a flash, and I found myself being pushed out the door. I didn't want to resist and hurt her hand, so I just let her do it until I was left in the hallway with the door slammed in my face.

I didn't know what to do—I'd never been in a situation like that before—so I slowly walked down the stairs and out of the house. I got in my car and drove home as quickly as I could.

I knew that night that I wouldn't be able to sleep. I knew before I tried that every time I closed my eyes, I would see Paige's scars. They were everywhere—some white with age and others pink and fresh; a few of them were even bright red.

_**Craig **_

"Rough day?" I heard someone say. I was sitting on the steps outside my house as the sun started to set. I looked up to see Jay standing over me.

"You could say that," I said, sighing and moving over so he had room to sit down.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No offense, but I don't think you'd understand." I was glad that Jay moved in across the street so I could talk to him more, but I wasn't sure I was all that comfortable talking about this specific thing.

"Maybe I won't understand. But that doesn't mean I won't listen."

"I've been tutoring Spinner," I started. The only problem was, I couldn't finish. I couldn't say what I wanted to say.

"Did something happen? I'm guessing it wasn't good. Did he hit on you?" he asked.

"He kissed me."

"And?"

"And what? There's nothing left to that story. I freaked out on him and told him I wasn't tutoring him anymore. I'm not gay and I have a girlfriend. So why would he do something like that?"

"Sometimes when someone has feelings for someone else, they can't control them. Things just happen. But I'm guessing there's more to it. Like, maybe you really like hanging out with Spinner and you don't want to lose a good friend over an uncomfortable situation," he said.

"Yeah, something like that," I sighed.

"Or maybe you think you have feelings for him too, and it's scaring you," he suggested.

"Nope, definitely not. Nice try though Jay," I said. I shrugged and leaned back against the step behind me. "I'm not gay."

"Well, I better get going. You can call me if you want to talk more, or maybe you could ask your sister for advice. She'll be able to understand it a little better," he told me.

"I'm not gay!" I said again.

"Relax, I'm not making any insinuations. Maybe you just need to sleep on it, and you'll know how to handle it in the morning."

"Thanks for the talk," I said, ignoring his suggestion. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good luck," he said before walking back across the street.

"Thanks," I said, even though he couldn't hear me anymore. I definitely needed it.

_**Alex **_

"Alex, dinner!" Craig called up the stairs.

"Not hungry!" I yelled back.

"Fine, whatever. More food for me!" He said. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me.

I got up and closed my bedroom door, then plopped back down on my bed. How could Ellie do that to me? I asked myself the same question, over and over. Maybe I never really meant anything to her at all. Maybe it was all just a lie.

But then I thought about all of the kisses and I knew that it wasn't. The only lie she's told is that she never wanted to be with me. She went from almost joining Equality Club with me to completely straight/shoved back into the closet girl. She went from the girl I thought I loved to the girl I couldn't stand in less than a week. But I still didn't hate her.

Every time I saw one of the many pictures I took of her and us, I started to cry. Every time I thought about her, I started to cry. Every time I tried to fall asleep—knowing I wouldn't be able to wake up and talk to her—I started to cry. I've never been like this before. At least when Ashley and I broke up, it was mutual. But now it just felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and cut to pieces.

Maybe I didn't have the worst problems in the world, but it sure felt that way.

_**Manny **_

"What's this?" I heard him yell from the hallway.

"What?" I asked, standing up. I tried to close my door, but he pushed his way in, waving a plate in front of my face.

"You can't wash your own dishes?"

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'll do it right now," I said. I tried to take the plate away from him, but he moved it out of my reach.

"You should have done it right after you ate off it!" he snapped. I closed my eyes because I knew something bad was about to happen. I heard the crash a second later, and turned to look at the damage. He'd thrown the plate right into my favorite lamp—the one my mother made for me. "Clean it up."

"Why don't you!" I screamed. So much anger flared through my body because he broke the lamp that I didn't even stop to think before blurting it out. My cheek stung as he slapped me. But it didn't stop there.

He wrapped his fingers around my throat and swung me around, shoving my back against the wall.

"Are you talking back to me Manuela?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"No," I choked out, barely able to speak.

"Good." He instantly loosened his grip and I could breathe again. I knew there were red marks on my throat that would be bruises in a few minutes.

My dad stormed out of the room, leaving me on the floor, crying over the lamp.

* * *

**A/N: I will try to get out of this depressing stuff as soon as I can, but I can't make any promises. I don't want to rush through this. **


	15. The Tears Keep Coming

**Chapter Fifteen: The Tears Keep Coming **

_**Alex **_

Monday came way too soon, despite the fact that I barely left my bedroom all weekend. According to my parents, a broken heart isn't an excuse to stay home from school, so I dragged myself out of bed to go to this hellhole.

I faked my way through my morning classes and then it was time for lunch. I'd been sitting at my normal table because Ellie hadn't been going to the cafeteria, but today, there she was, sitting in her seat. I steered myself in the other direction and made my way over to sit with Craig and Emma.

"Hey," Emma said, smiling sympathetically. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," I groaned. "But thanks for caring." I shot a look at Craig, my _twin_, who didn't seem to care. And I was right because he didn't even notice. "What's up with him?" I asked Emma.

"I have no idea," she shrugged. "But I'd really like to know what's up with this food. It's usually good, but today…"

"It looks like dog food," I said, laughing for the first time since the whole Ellie incident. Of course, as soon as I even thought her name, I got depressed again.

"I'm sure the word 'surprise' is in the name of it," Emma joked.

"Yeah," I said, moving the food around with my fork. I had no desire to eat it and I wasn't planning to. Emma decided to be brave and started to eat, leaving me in silence. I picked at my food but didn't take a single bite. Then I finally threw the tray away and returned to the table.

"Why aren't you eating anything?" He actually startled me.

"You mean you're paying attention?" I said.

"Alex, you haven't eaten in days. That's not healthy," Craig said, ignoring my sarcasm.

"Shows how much you know," I snapped. "Did you notice that I was gone before anyone left the house? I ate a big breakfast and went for a walk thank you," I smirked.

"Yeah well…"

"Well what?" I asked. Emma pretended she couldn't hear us; I felt bad for her.

"I know you're hurting Al, but you can't stop eating because you got your heart broken. I'm here for you; a lot of people are. Promise me you'll talk to me before you do something drastic," he said.

"I promise. Cross my heart," I said, flashing him a fake smile. "Love you bro."

With that, I stood up and left. I didn't run off to the washroom or go to my next class early; I walked right out of the school without any intention of going back.

At least not until tomorrow.

_**Paige **_

I successfully avoided Marco until lunch. I didn't even know he was in the same lunch period as me because I normally sat at a corner table—since Jay had a different lunch period—and was ignored. I was halfway through my meatloaf surprise, which didn't really taste that bad, when he sat down across from me. I tried to pretend I didn't know he was there, but that was a little hard since he was repeatedly drumming his fingers on the table.

"Do you want something?" I asked. I tried not to be rude, I really did, but it was a defense mechanism.

"We need to talk…about what I saw," he whispered.

"You didn't see anything," I snapped. I stood up to walk away, leaving my tray behind, but Marco grabbed my arm.

"Paige, if you don't talk to me, I'll tell someone." I could already feel the tears forming behind my eyes.

"You can't!" I argued, pulling my arm away from him.

"Then just talk to me," he pleaded.

"Not here," I said, giving in. I knew he wouldn't stop until he got his way—or worse.

"Why don't you come to my house after school? That way, you can talk freely," he suggested.

I put my head down and shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay. Meet me on the steps after the bell."

I pushed my way past him and left the cafeteria. I ran to the girls' washroom and checked the stalls before locking the door. The tears came then. How could I tell Marco the truth? Not even _Jay_ knew the truth and he was my only friend.

I looked into the mirror at myself. My eyes were red and puffy and my cheeks were tear-stained. Luckily for me, I didn't wear any makeup, so at least I couldn't mess my face up even more.

I stared at my cheeks that were too fat and my hair that was just thrown up into a ponytail. I would never be one of the pretty, popular girls. All I would ever be was a toy for my stepfather. The next three years of my life, maybe more, would consist of him putting his hands all over me, forcing me to kiss him…

I started to cry again, and fished around in my purse for the only thing that would help me stop.

**_Spinner_**

I finally built up the courage to try to talk to Craig during lunch. He had been sitting with Alex and Emma, but Alex disappeared.

"Hey Craig, can I talk to you?" I asked. At first I thought he was ignoring me, but then I realized he hadn't heard me. He was completely spaced out, staring at the table.

"Craig," Emma said, nudging him.

"What?" he asked, his head snapping up. He looked a little bit disoriented.

"Can I talk to you?" I repeated. Instead of answering me, he stood up and started to walk away from the table.

"I'll be right back," he said to Emma. "Come on," he told me. I followed him out into the hallway. "What?" he asked.

"About the other day…when I kissed you…" I said. Craig sighed and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the nearest boys' washroom.

"I don't want to talk about that. You better not tell anyone about it either," he told me.

"I just wanted to apologize. I thought that you were gay or maybe even bi or something. And I just wanted to see what it would be like…"

I was taken completely by surprise when I felt his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, but he pulled away suddenly. He stared at me with this scared look on his face and I knew I was right before.

"Craig…" I whispered.

He slammed his hand against the door and yelled.

"FUCK!"

Then he shoved the door open and left. When I looked out into the hallway, I saw him running towards front doors of the school.

_**Manny **_

I wore a scarf to cover my newest bruises from my father. No one noticed that anything was different. Marco ignored me, which upset me but also made me feel grateful that I wouldn't have to try and explain anything. I just hoped I could get through the day without anyone getting a glimpse.

How did this all happen? I can't even remember when my dad started being abusive. I guess it was when my mom left him. She told me she couldn't take me with her because I needed to finish school and make something out of myself. Maybe he hurt her and that's why she left. I'll probably never know.

After a few classes, I went into the bathroom to take a break from sneaking around corners and avoiding everyone. But as soon as I got into a stall, I broke down and cried. I acted like a baby and banged my fists against the wall. But it felt good. It felt really good to get it all out.

At lunch I decided to go outside because barely anyone ate out there anymore. I picked at the nasty food on my tray and decided to just eat the fruit. It was grapes; my mom's favorite. And that brought on even more tears. I hid my face and tried to wipe the tears away before anyone saw.

"Mind if I sit here?" someone asked. I kept my head down.

"Go ahead," I said, turning away from whoever it was.

"You okay?" he asked. I lifted my head a little to see who exactly I was talking to.

"I do not need your help," I snapped. He crossed his arms and leaned back a little.

"I know you think I'm some kind of scum, but that doesn't mean I can't help," Jay said.

"Just go away."

"Why are you crying?" he asked me.

"Not only can you not take a hint, but you can't take a direct order either, can you?"

"When people are crying and they tell other people to go away, that usually means they're just embarrassed. Besides, you've stopped crying, haven't you?" He was right, but I wasn't about to let him know that.

"Leave me alone Jay."

"Who is it that suddenly made you so miserable?" he asked me. He wasn't going away anytime soon.

"No one."

"Maybe I should have worded the question differently. Who's been hurting you? As pretty as your scarf is, it doesn't completely hide the bruises."

"Mind your own fucking business Jay!" I screamed before storming off. Thankfully he didn't try to follow me. But how could he find out? How is it that this guy who I treat like crap noticed how much I'm hurting but the people who I thought cared about me never noticed it at all?

_**Craig **_

I ran as quickly as I could down the hall and out of the school. I felt a surge of anger rush through me again and leaned against the side of the building. My legs started to shake as I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the cement steps.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to process what was happening. I just kissed Spinner. But I'm not gay. I can't be.

I lowered my head and felt my cheeks start to get wet. Tears that dripped slowly eventually became heavy sobs that wracked my entire body. Luckily for me, there was no one around to see me cry.

_**Marco **_

I waited until Paige and I were up in my room to ask her any more questions. She sat on my bed, playing with the bottom of her shirt. Her right leg bounced up and down and she refused to look at me.

"Paige," I said softly. I pulled the chair from my desk over near the bed and sat across from her. "Paige," I repeated. She kept her head down and started at her feet, but she finally answered me.

"What?"

"The cuts on your stomach…" I began. "…did Steve do that to you?" Her leg stopped bouncing and I saw her swallow hard.

"He…" she didn't say another word; instead, she started to cry. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her. Paige laid her head on my shoulder and started to soak my shirt.

"If he's hurting you, we have to tell someone. You have to get away from him," I told her. I felt her shake her head.

"He didn't do that," she choked out.

"Then who did?" I asked. I rubbed her back and tried to think of anyone else who would hurt her like that. The only person she was close to was Jay but I didn't say his name because I figured she'd freak out. She whispered something but I didn't hear her. "What?" I asked.

"I did," she said louder. I pulled back from her and looked at her in surprise.

"Paige," I said, my voice full of sympathy and shock. "Why would you…?" I put my hand under her chin and lifted it up so she would look at me. "Why would you hurt yourself like that?"

"You wouldn't understand," she said. She was still angry, but she had calmed down a little.

"You're probably right. But there has to be a reason," I said. I was speaking softly and treating her very delicately even though I really wanted to shake her and yell at her to stop. What she was doing was really dangerous, and I realized that I already cared about her too much to let her keep doing it.

"Steve…he…" she shifted uncomfortably and looked away.

"It's okay," I said. "You can tell me."

"He touches me sometimes," she whispered after a few minutes. "And kisses me. I don't want him to and I don't know if he's really going to stop. After the first night he came into my room, I started to…" she trailed off and pointed at her stomach. "It helps me feel better and forget about him."

"Oh my God," I said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Her stepfather was forcing himself on her. "Has he…?"

"No!" she yelled. "He's only touched or kissed me, that's all. It's not a big deal—I'm handling it. I broke his nose and he hasn't come near me since," she said.

"Paige, this is a huge deal! Is that how you really broke your hand?" She nodded. "This has to stop. All of it. He should never lay a finger on you and you can't cut yourself. It's not healthy."

"It's the only way for me to stop hurting!" she protested.

"No, it's not. You're just hurting yourself even more," I argued.

"Like I said before, you wouldn't understand. So just leave me alone!" She stood up and started to walk towards my door.

"You're not going back home," I told her. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Stop Marco. I don't deserve to be hugged," she said softly.

"Yes, you do."


	16. Nothing Will Fix This

**Chapter Sixteen: Nothing Will Fix This **

_**Emma**_

"So yesterday you never came back to lunch, and then you weren't in art class," I said to Craig the next morning. "Where'd you go? Did you and Spinner skip?"

"Something like that," he grumbled.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" I asked him. His shoulders were slumped and he was frowning.

"I'm not!" he snapped. "Let's just go."

"Fine."

I followed him down the street and we made our way to school. Our morning walks used to be fun, but this one was full of silence. Every time I tried to start a conversation, he started to walk faster, ahead of me.

Craig went straight into the building when we got there—we usually made out on the steps if we got there early—and I followed him to his locker.

"Are you gonna talk to me at all? Or even look at me?" I asked.

"Emma, just please leave me alone right now."

"Not until you tell me what's going on," I protested. I put my hand on his arm. "Maybe I can help."

"First of all, you wouldn't understand. And second, I don't need your help," he spat.

"Craig!"

He slammed his locker, making me jump, and started to walk away. I followed him at a somewhat slow pace, and made sure I stayed a few feet behind him. When he was almost to his homeroom, Spinner came around the corner.

"Hey," he said.

"Get out of my way faggot!" Craig yelled, shoving past him.

"Craig!" I yelled after him. "What is wrong with you?"

"Leave me alone Emma!" he screamed without looking back.

"Are you okay?" I asked Spinner once Craig was gone.

"Yeah," he said, sighing.

"What was that all about?" I asked, hoping he might know.

"You'll have to ask _him_ that," he told me.

"Because he really wants to talk to me," I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Emma. I wish I could help you out, but…"

"It's okay. Maybe he'll want to talk later," I said, sighing.

Or maybe we were breaking up.

_**Paige**_

I woke up and didn't know where I was at first. I rolled over and saw a picture of Manny next to the bed and remembered I stayed at Marco's house the night before. Then I looked at the clock next to Manny and realized I was late for school. I got up and found my clothes in a pile by the end of the bed—Marco had given me a big t-shirt to sleep in—and I pulled my jeans on and left the room.

I walked down the hall and found Spinner's room—we'd passed by it yesterday. Marco was sitting at the desk in the corner, typing away on the computer.

"Hey," I said quietly. He turned to look at me and smiled.

"Come on in," he told me.

"Where is everyone? We're late for school," I said.

"Spinner's already there. My dad's at work and my mom went to the grocery store. They said we could stay home today so we could go to your house and get your stuff," he replied.

"They said I could stay?" I asked. My stomach started fluttering—both from excitement and from nerves. What would my mother say? Would she let me leave?

"Yes; for as long as you need to. Why don't we just go now and get it over with?" he suggested.

"Sure," I said, swallowing hard.

_**Alex **_

I managed to drag myself to school and doodle my way through the first few classes, but then I decided to skip the one class I had with Ellie. It helped if I didn't have to see her while I was trying to forget about her.

The place everyone goes to when they skip class is The Dot, so that's where I headed. I walked as slowly as possible, taking up as much time as I could. It wasn't very far away though, so I made it there in less than twenty minutes. I picked a booth in the corner and ordered a burger and fries. I tried not to think about anything to make me sad, but that was ruined when I saw her walk in the door.

I wanted to run over to her and beg her to talk to me. I knew I was too weak to resist her. I was just about to stand up when I noticed that she wasn't alone. She was holding someone's hand. I'd seen him around before—he was the captain of the basketball team—and I knew his name was James or Jimmy or something like that.

I slumped down in the seat and put my head in my hands. I glanced through my fingers and saw them standing near the counter. Even though I still wanted to go over to her, all of those thoughts stopped when I saw them kiss. My stomach flopped and I immediately started to cry. How could she have moved on already? I knew I couldn't stay there any longer, so I jumped out of the booth and ran straight from the building, and straight into someone. I didn't bother to see who it was; I just kept going around to the back of the restaurant. I sank to the ground with my back to the wall.

"Hit and run, huh?" I heard a voice from above my shoulder. I looked up to see a blonde boy standing over me. He must have been the one I bumped into.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Tears ran down my cheeks but I was past the point of caring. I let some random guy see me at my worst; it just didn't matter anymore.

"You're Alex, right?" he asked.

"How do you know?"

"I've seen your picture. Seeing as I'm the vice president of Equality Club—thanks for the name, by the way—I have to know all the members," he explained.

"If you're the vice president, then why haven't I seen you before?"

"I've been—away. I'm sure you've heard of me though. I'm Peter," he said, sitting down next to me. I vaguely remembered hearing the name but that was all.

"I'm Alex. But you already knew that."

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Not really," I confessed. "I just saw my ex girlfriend with a guy and I'm not exactly over her." My tears were dried, but that didn't stop me from feeling hurt. I looked at Peter with a frown on my face. He surprised me by leaning forward and hugging me. "What was that for?" I asked when he leaned back again.

"Sometimes people just need to be hugged. I can usually tell when it's one of those times," he said.

"Thanks. But I better get back to school. I should be back before my next class starts," I sighed.

"Need a ride?" he asked me.

"Sure."

Peter helped me up and I followed him to his car. I looked over my shoulder as we drove away and saw Ellie and Jimmy holding hands and laughing together inside the restaurant. I turned back around and closed my eyes, trying to erase that picture from my mind.

_**Jay **_

Even though Manny usually made my life a living hell, I was really worried about her. I doubted that Marco was the one hurting her, especially since they were broken up and some of her bruises were new. I wasn't sure who else she interacted with on a daily basis, and the only person I could think of was her father. I decided to talk to her again at lunch, and this time I found her sitting on the ground under a tree.

"Is this patch of grass taken?" I asked, sitting down next to her before she could answer.

"Yes, it is," she snapped, inching away from me.

"Well then I'll just warm it until the occupant gets here."

"Will you ever take a hint and just leave me alone?" she asked.

"Not until you get help. Tell someone what's happening to you."

"Nothing is happening to me," she argued. I had to give her credit; she was a great liar. It was probably the reason why no one else had figured out why she suddenly turned into a bitch.

"Manny, I'm not your friend. You can't lie to me and make me believe you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, standing up.

"You can't just walk away from this," I said.

"No, but I can walk away from you." She turned and started to walk away but I got up and followed her. I walked around in front of her and she stopped and crossed her arms. "Get out of my way."

"Who's hurting you? Is it your dad?" I asked her.

"What? You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yeah, I do. I can tell that I'm right by how much you're freaking out. And I know that you wouldn't wear the same scarf two days in a row unless you wanted to hide something."

"Or maybe I like the scarf. You really shouldn't butt into other people's business," she said.

"I'm not trying to bother you; I'm trying to help you. Your dad has no right to lay a hand on you, and it's not your fault. Just come with me to Ms. Sauvé. She can help you figure out how to stop it," I told her.

"There's nothing to stop. So leave me alone!" she yelled. She tried to walk around me but I stopped her.

"Take off your scarf."

"What?"

"Take off your scarf and prove that there's nothing to stop," I said.

"I'm not taking my scarf off for you!"

"Then I will." I reached up and started to untie it, but she started hitting me.

"Jay, stop!"

I kept trying to untie it but I wasn't getting anywhere. As she struggled against me, I realized that I was probably acting like her father did, and I stopped. But she didn't realize that one of her sleeves was pushed back a little.

"Manny, your arm…" I said. I pushed her sleeve back all the way and saw the bruises. I could see exactly where her dad grabbed her. She had a long cut going halfway up her arm too. "Did he…?" I couldn't finish my sentence. As soon as I paused, Manny ripped her arm away from me.

"Just forget you saw that and we'll be fine," she said quietly, fixing her sleeve.

"I can't forget it. You need help."

"I don't need anything. Just forget it!" This time she stormed off and I let her go. I knew I wasn't going to get through to her like this. I'd have to talk to someone on my own.

_**Marco **_

While Paige packed up her stuff, I waited by the door to her room. Steve wasn't there but her mom was downstairs watching TV, nursing a bottle of vodka. I watched as Paige rushed around, deciding what was important and what wasn't.

"Take whatever you want; we've got plenty of room in the van," I told her. She stopped and looked over at me.

"It's not that easy," she said with tears in her eyes. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Why would you want to stay here?" I asked.

"This is my home Marco; that's why. I can't just leave my mom with that creep!" she protested.

"The way you've been treated caused you to start cutting yourself. You can't stay if you want to get better."

"What if I leave and still don't get better? What if I can't stop, even after I'm away from all this?"

"It's okay to be afraid," I said, walking over to her. "You can get through this."

"What if I don't?" she repeated.

"You have to try," I told her. "You know you can't try here."

"I know." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. She started to cry and I hugged her tighter.

"Why don't we bring your stuff out to the van and then come back in to tell your mom," I suggested a few minutes later. Paige nodded but she didn't say anything. She zipped up the last duffel bag and we carried it all outside and packed it in the van. Paige's mom didn't even glance at us, even though we must have passed by her four times.

Once we finished, I followed Paige into the living room. She turned off the TV and faced her mom, who finally noticed us.

"Mom, we need to talk," she said.

"Why did you turn the TV off?" her mom snapped.

"I'm leaving. I'm living at Marco's for awhile," she said.

"That's nice honey. Can you turn it back on now? I don't want to miss the end of that show."

"Are you even listening to me?" she asked. "I'm moving into Marco's house. You don't even know who he is and you're not questioning me at all?"

"I had a really rough night last night, okay? I'm sure this Marco kid is great, and you know what you're doing. So turn it back on."

The woman acted like I wasn't standing right next to her daughter. She acted like she didn't care at all that her daughter was leaving home.

"Why don't you even care?" Paige cried. I could tell that she was trying as hard as she could to keep her composure.

"You know, Steve told me that you might try to leave me some day. I've gotten myself ready for it. So just leave. He's the only person I need right now."

"Steve is the reason…" I started to say, but Paige cut me off. Tears ran down her cheeks.

"I just need to go to the bathroom and then we can go," she said to me. She started towards the bathroom but I grabbed her arm.

"Let's just leave now. You can wait," I said.

"Marco, I'll be right back."

"I won't let you do this anymore!" I yelled. I knew why she was trying to get away. I knew what she wanted to do in that bathroom.

"Shut up! I can't hear my show!" her mom shouted. She had the TV back on already.

"Come on," I whispered. "Let's go."

I put an arm around her shoulders and led her out of there. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to help her stop cutting, no matter what it took.

_**Craig**_

After school I stomped up to my room—still in a horrible mood. I turned my music up as loud as it would go and started drawing. It always helped me feel better. I didn't pay any attention to what I was doing; I just moved my pencil along with the music. When the song was over I looked at the paper. As soon as I saw it I threw it against the wall and let my head fall into my hands. How did this happen?

I heard someone knocking on the door but I ignored it. I didn't feel like talking to anyone at all. That didn't stop whoever it was, because my door opened a minute later.

"Turn it down!" Alex yelled over the music. I refused to look at her and I didn't move at all. I heard her cross the room and then suddenly it was silent.

"Just leave me alone," I said quietly. I could feel tears building behind my eyes.

"You're not the only one who had a bad day," she said. I felt my bed sag as she sat next to me. "You want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No."

Alex was the one person who knew me perfectly. She moved over and threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. I gratefully leaned into her and let the tears flow.

"I saw Ellie kissing Jimmy Brooks today and started to cry like a baby," she said. "I feel like this is still middle school," she sighed. "You know?"

"Not really. My problems definitely go beyond the middle school level," I told her.

"Well, when you feel like talking, I'm here," she said, hugging me one more time before standing up.

"Hey Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Ellie," I said sincerely. "I know you love her."

"Thanks. I'm sorry about whatever's bothering you. I'll help you when you're ready," she said. I waited until she was gone before muttering:

"No one can help me out of this one."

I walked over to my sketch pad, ripped off the page, and threw it into the waste basket.


	17. Stay

**Chapter Seventeen: Stay **

**Manny **

I was sitting in English class, not paying attention, as usual, when Ms. Kwan left the room to talk to someone else. When she came back, she motioned me up to the front of the room and handed me a hall pass.

"You're wanted in Ms. Sauvé's office," she said quietly.

"Why?" I asked. She didn't have to tell me why because I already knew. I'd been dreading it.

"I don't know," she answered. Well, at least he hadn't told everyone.

My suspicions were confirmed when I walked into the office and saw Jay sitting in one of the chairs across from Ms. Sauvé's desk.

I thought I'd be angry when I saw him there. I wanted to run from the room and pretend that no one knew my secret. But all I could do was cry.

Tears poured down my cheeks as I stood there, staring at the floor. Jay walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. He let me cry into his shoulder as long as I needed to.

**Paige **

I sat in Marco's room alone after we ate lunch. I'd told him I was tired and wanted to take a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep. I sat on his bed and kept looking around the room, wishing that things were back to normal. I wanted my dad to be alive, and I wanted Steve to have never existed. I wanted so many things that I knew I'd never have again.

What would happen when Marco's parents got sick of me? Marco didn't even know me that well. I wouldn't be able to stay at his house forever, and where would I go when I was no longer welcome? I couldn't live with Jay because he lived with his aunt and uncle. And I didn't have any other friends.

I realized that I was crying as I thought about everything. I couldn't stop, and I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did next. I walked over to Marco's desk and found his scissors. Then I sat down in his computer chair, with my back to the door, and lifted up my shirt.

I drew the scissors across my skin. It stung, but I was used to it by then, and I started to feel better. As I started the next cut, my tears stopped falling. I breathed a sigh of relief when I dragged them across my stomach for a third time.

"Paige!" I heard Marco behind me. I pulled my shirt down and tried to hide the scissors, but I couldn't find anywhere to put them. I started to cry again as he walked in front of me and pulled them from my hands.

"I'm sorry," I choked out. "I…"

"You can't do this anymore," he whispered. He slowly pulled up my shirt and gasped a little. "Come on, let's go fix you up."

I followed him to the bathroom, crying the whole way. This was it; he'd clean up my cuts and send me on my way. He wouldn't be able to deal with me because I couldn't stop cutting.

**Alex **

"I brought you some lunch," Craig said from the doorway of my room. We both claimed to be sick that morning. Our parents didn't have time to force us to go, so they gave in and let us stay home.

"I'm not hungry," I said. I was sitting in my window seat, staring out across the backyard.

"Bull. Eat your sandwich or I'll feed it to you," he said, holding it out to me. I made a big deal out of taking a bite and swallowing it, but then I put the plate down and looked at him seriously.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on with you?" I asked him. "I know why I'm pretending to be sick, but why are you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he said, plopping down onto my bed.

"Come on Craig. We're best friends. You can talk to me about anything," I told him.

"I don't have anything to say Alex," he sighed.

"Maybe I can start. Does it have anything to do with this?"

I reached in my pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper that I'd taken from Craig's trash can that morning. I unfolded it and smoothed it out before holding it up.

"Where'd you get that?" he yelled, rushing forward and snatching it out of my hands. "Stay out of my room Alex!" he added.

"Craig, just talk to me about it. I can help you, trust me. I know exactly what you're going through," I insisted.

"You don't know anything," he snapped. "Just leave me alone!"

He stormed out of my room and back into his own. In a few seconds, I heard his music go on and he turned it up all the way.

Since I knew he wouldn't hear me, I went downstairs and buried my sandwich in the trash. Then I decided to go on a walk and try to clear my head.

**Jay **

"Hey Paige, this is about the fifth time today that I've gotten your voicemail. I just wanted to say sorry that we haven't talked in awhile. I've just been trying to help someone out and visit my mom and adjust to living at Emma's house all at the same time. It's just been crazy. I hope you're not mad at me and we have to hang out really soon. Um…bye."

I felt horrible for abandoning Paige and I prayed that she wasn't being bothered by Steve and that she didn't hate me. I'd just gotten so wrapped up in trying to help Manny that I just sort of, forgot about her. And that scared me. How can you forget about your best friend?

Manny was a total mess all afternoon. After telling her story to Ms. Sauvé, she'd cried so much that she had a huge headache. I went to the nurse with her, where she got medicine and lay down for awhile. But then Ms. Sauvé wanted to talk to her again and I wasn't allowed to go with her. I wondered what happened with all of that but didn't hear from her for the rest of the day.

Since there was nothing more for me to do for Manny, I decided to drive over to Paige's house and see what was up. Hopefully her phone was dead and she wasn't just ignoring my calls on purpose.

I knocked on the door and waited for a good ten minutes before her mom came to the door. She was drunk, and she had no pants on.

"Oh hello Jeremy," she slurred, squinting her eyes at me. Amazing; she couldn't even get my name right.

"Is Paige home?" I asked.

"Dinnya hear? She don't live here anymore," she said.

"WHAT?"

"Goodnight Jeffrey!"

And she slammed the door in my face.

**Craig **

"Are you gonna tell me what's been going on with you?" Emma asked me.

She'd called and invited me for dinner, and we were up in her room talking afterwards.

"Everyone keeps asking me that. But I don't have an answer," I said. I knew what I was going through wasn't her fault, but I couldn't help being rude. I was in a bad mood all the time ever since Spinner kissed me.

"Then why did you even come over for dinner? I assumed you would talk to me at some point," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm your girlfriend; you're supposed to be able to tell me anything."

"I came over for dinner because I do have something to tell you. But you're not gonna like it," I warned her.

"What is it?" her voice was shaky. I could've sworn that she was about to cry.

"I can't do this anymore," I sighed.

"Do what?"

"This relationship. Emma, we have to break up, I'm sorry."

"What? Why?" she shrieked. The tears I knew so well appeared just then.

"I'm sorry Em. I really care about you a lot, but."

"But not enough, right?" she asked, wiping her cheeks.

"It's not like that."

"Then what's it like?"

"You wouldn't understand, okay? We just can't."

"Is this about the sex? About wanting to take it slow?"

"Of course not! Do you really think I'm like that?" I was starting to get upset.

"I don't know what to think anymore," she said, sighing.

"I have to go." I felt tears forming behind my eyes and I didn't want to let them out in front of her. I felt like a horrible person, like she thought the worst of me, and I couldn't handle it.

"Craig, wait!" she called after me as I ran down the stairs.

I pretended not to hear her and just kept running.

**Marco **

While Paige took a shower after dinner, I did some serious work in my room. I found everything sharp that I could—my scissors, pocket knife, and even my pens and pencils—and took it all out of my room. I put everything in a box and hid it in the basement.

I couldn't stay with her all the time, but I at least wouldn't leave her alone in any part of the house but my bedroom.

When she got out of the shower, she insisted that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. But I wanted to try and cheer her up.

"Why don't we watch a movie? Or go out for ice cream?" I suggested.

"Marco, I…I just…I don't know if I can do this," she said. A tear trickled out of her eye but she quickly wiped it away.

"Do what?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know if I can stop. Cutting has been the only thing that's made me feel better for a long time. Aside from spending time with Jay, that is," she said.

"Paige, you know you can't hurt yourself like that anymore," I told her.

"It's just not that easy Marco."

"I'll make it that easy. I'll sleep on this floor if I have to. I'll follow you around forever. I will become your permanent stalker," I said. She laughed a little, which made me happy.

"Thanks Marco. I really owe you one," she said.

"You don't owe me anything."

"I have a favor to ask you then."

"Anything," I told her.

"Will you stay with me tonight? It's just that every time I try to sleep, I start thinking about my mom and dad and everything like it used to be and…"

"Of course I'll stay," I said.

She kissed my cheek and smiled before lying down on top of the blankets. I lay down next to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"This is nice," she whispered, moving closer to me.

"Yeah," I agreed, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

**Ellie**

"So, do I get to meet him?" my mom asked as she walked into my room.

"Meet who?"

"Your new boyfriend of course!" she said happily.

"He's not my boyfriend mom. We're just going on a date," I told her.

"Close enough. You've been dating him for a little while now and that usually means…" she trailed off when she noticed I wasn't really paying attention to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to finish getting ready before he gets here," I said, sighing. It wasn't really what I was thinking about, but she didn't need to know that.

"Sorry honey. I'll leave you alone. But when he gets here, I want to meet him!"

She practically skipped from the room and I rolled my eyes. I made sure she was gone before closing and locking my door. Then I went over to my bed and pulled something out of my pillowcase. It was a photograph.

Alex took it of us on one of our dates. I always kept it there and looked at it whenever I got a chance. Tears formed behind my eyes and I willed them not to fall. I missed her so much.

A knock on my door startled me. I shoved the picture back in it's hiding spot and jumped up.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Your date is here," my mom called. I could imagine her grinning on the other side of that door.

"I'll be out in a minute!"

I walked over to the mirror and made sure my eyes looked okay. Then I put my earrings in and headed into the living room. Jimmy was standing in the doorway, smiling as my mother introduced herself.

"Okay, you've met, now let's go," I said, grabbing Jimmy's arm and dragging him out the door.

"Stay out as late as you want!" my mom yelled after us.

We drove to The Dot and ate dinner like we always did. Normally, after that, we went to a movie or miniature golfing or something like that. But that night, Jimmy told me he had something special planned. He took me to the park.

I watched as he set a blanket on the ground and lit candles on it. Then he went back to the car and pulled a box out of it. He'd made dessert for us, and created a little picnic. My heart sank as I thought of the picnic Alex made for me. I sat down and tried to ignore those feelings.

After dessert, Jimmy started moving closer and closer to me. Pretty soon, we were making out, and shortly after that, he blew the candles out and cleared the blanket off. We lay down on it and looked up at the stars, and before I knew what was going on, he was on top of me, kissing my neck and undoing my pants.

As we both undressed, I kept picturing Alex above me instead of him. My heart knew that she was the one I wanted, not Jimmy. I began to feel cold and nothing Jimmy did would warm me up. As we had sex that night, under the stars, tears fell down my cheeks. I wanted Alex, not Jimmy.

Alex.

* * *

**A/N: I'm going on vacation for two weeks so I won't be able to update! But as soon as I get back, I'll post the next chapter. **


	18. All You Need Is Love

**Chapter Eighteen: All You Need Is Love**

_**Jay**_

How could this have happened? Paige, my best friend, my only friend for the longest time, moved out of her house and didn't even tell me. Her mother couldn't even tell me where to find her, and I felt completely lost. I got so wrapped up in helping Manny that I forgot about my best friend. What kind of a person am I?

I had no idea who to call or where to look for her. What if she was in trouble? As far as I knew, Paige didn't have any other friends or any relatives in the city to live with. But then it hit me; I could find her at work.

I raced down to the mall as fast as I could and ran inside. As I made my way to the movie theater, I could see that familiar head of blonde hair. I breathed a sigh of relief and slowed to a fast walk.

"Paige!" I called out as I got closer. She looked up at me and smiled. Wait…how was she _not_ mad at me?

"Jay!" she called back. She ran around the counter and threw her arms around me. I pulled her close to me and smelled her hair. Suddenly, everything felt right again. I wasn't in a panic anymore and I knew she would never hate me.

"I'm so sorry that I haven't called!" I apologized. "I've just been…"

"It's okay, really," she said. "I've been busy too."

"I went to your house last night. Your mom told me you didn't live there anymore! What happened?"

"I've been living at Marco's," she said.

"Marco Del Rossi? Are you two…"

"No!" she interrupted. "We sort of had a date after he and Manny broke up. I guess you could call it that. Anyway, he brought me home afterwards and found out about Steve. So he said I could live with him," she grinned.

I had a feeling that she wasn't telling me the whole story. I could tell that the smile on her face was forced, but I decided to let it go for the time being. Then I thought of her and Marco on a date together, and my stomach flopped. I pictured them making out and sleeping in the same bed together at his house…

I thought of Manny and how much she still loved Marco and how she had only broken up with him because she was afraid he'd find out about her dad. I thought of how I wasn't ready to share Paige with anyone.

"Jay? Hellooooo," she was waving her hand in front of my face. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, shoving those thoughts to the back of my mind.

"How's your mom? I feel horrible for not being there for both of you," she told me.

"Don't worry about it. She's great. She has a new place to live, but she loves it."

"I guess we all have new places to live. How's Emma? I hope she doesn't bother you too much."

"We've actually become friends. She met Mom and everything just picked up from there."

"I'm glad. You look really happy," she said.

"I wasn't completely happy until I knew you were safe," I told her. I hugged her one more time and started to feel better. "I'll let you get back to work. Do you want to come over after?" I asked.

"I can't, sorry. Marco's cooking me dinner tonight since his parents are going out. Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, tomorrow," I repeated before walking away. I really needed to talk to Marco.

_**Alex**_

I stepped on the scale in the bathroom and looked down. Twelve pounds. I'd lost twelve pounds since Ellie broke my heart. But even losing that much didn't bring her back to me. Maybe she dumped me because I was too fat.

I turned to the full length mirror and stared. What I saw disgusted me. My thighs were huge and my cheeks were puffy. My stomach popped out too. I looked pregnant! No wonder Ellie was with Jimmy now. He was much, much skinner than I was.

"Alex!" I heard Craig yell from the other side of the door. When I didn't answer him, he started to knock.

"Alright!" I yelled back. "I'm coming." I pulled open the door and glared at him.

"Jeez Alex, you look like shit," was the first thing out of his mouth.

"I know, okay! You don't need to remind me," I snapped, storming past him and running into my room. Before I could slam the door, he was behind me. He followed me in and closed it behind him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he said softly, sitting down on my bed. I took my normal seat by the window and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Are you finally ready to talk to me?" I asked, changing the subject. He nodded and tears stared pouring out of his eyes. I sat there and let him cry for a few minutes. "I'm ready when you are," I said.

"Al, I don't know what to do," he choked out between sobs. "I just…"

"Start from the beginning," I suggested. "Tell me everything."

"Well, I started tutoring Spinner in math a few weeks ago. We had a lot of fun and hung out a little afterwards. I was happy to have another new friend; I finally felt like I fit in here. But then, last weekend, he kissed me at his house. I freaked out and left. When he asked to talk to me at school on Monday, we went into the washroom and…"

"What happened?" I whispered. I knew it would take a little bit of coercing to get the full story out of him. Craig was never good at talking about his feelings.

"I kissed him. Then I swore and ran out and cried. Alex, I'm not gay. But I broke up with Emma," he sighed, finally looking up at me.

"Craig, I've known this about you since I knew it about myself," I admitted. "I've seen your awkwardness with girls, and you've always told me with every girlfriend you had that it didn't feel right," I explained.

"I'm not gay," he repeated. "I can't be!" he said, louder this time.

"If you felt something when Spinner kissed you, and you never felt something when Emma kissed you, or any girl for that matter, then there's no other real explanation. You kissed him back. You must feel something."

"I don't! I'M NOT GAY! How many times to I have to say it?" he screamed. He started to cry again, and I got a little teary myself.

"I know how scary it is and how hard it is to deal with. But trust me; we're in a much better place for you to go through this than we were before. Most of the people here are tolerant. I don't think anyone will give you shit for being yourself," I told him. I was trying to help, but it wasn't working.

"I can't be gay Alex. YOU are the gay twin! Not me!"

"It doesn't work that way." I moved over to my bed and sat next to him. "I know what you're going through, and I'm gonna help you," I assured him.

He shook his head and bit his bottom lip. We stared at each other for a minute before I pulled him towards me. We hugged for a long time, his sobs moving both of our bodies. In that moment, I wished Craig had been there for me when I was realizing who I was, but I tried not to hold it against him. And I wouldn't do the same thing.

_**Paige**_

Marco didn't kick me out of his house after he found me cutting. It was just the opposite; he curled up in bed with me that night and I slept better than I had in a long time. I didn't have any nightmares and I just felt so safe.

When I got home from work that night, I realized what he had done. I wasn't looking to do anything, but I'd been getting changed and I noticed that there weren't any more scissors, thumb tacks, or even nail clippers left in the room. He had removed everything he knew I could hurt myself with.

I smiled because it was nice to have someone care about me so much. Not that Jay didn't care about me; it's just that I never wanted him to find out. He'd be so disappointed in me and he'd probably tell an adult. I'd been so happy when I saw him at work though. I hadn't realized until then how much I missed him.

I sat down on Marco's bed and waited for dinner to be ready. My thoughts drifted to the problem that I had and how I was really ever going to stop. Sure, Marco took stuff out of his room and probably hid it somewhere, but that wouldn't be able to stop me. I could use anything I wanted to hurt myself, like the plastic ruler that I'd hidden in the pillowcase, or even a sharp corner of my notebook. I could find anything at school and go into the bathroom, and the same went for work too.

The only way I'd be able to stop was to _want_ to stop. And in that moment, I wasn't sure I really wanted to.

_**Manny **_

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you. And I really do appreciate your help, but I hate this. Can you come stay with me for awhile?" I asked him over the phone.

"Sure, where are you?"

I gave him the address, hung up the phone, and waited. I sat on my new bed in a small room. It wasn't really that bad, but I hated it. I wanted to be back in my old room at my old house. I wanted my mom to be there and I wanted my dad to love me again.

"Manny, you have a visitor," the woman said from the other side of the door. Before I answered her, the door opened and Jay walked in. I couldn't stop myself from jumping up and hugging him.

"Miss me?" he asked, closing the door and joining me on the bed after I'd come to my senses.

"Sure…if that's what you want to think," I joked. I had no idea how I could be so comfortable talking to someone that I convinced myself to hate before. I guess since Jay had helped me, I felt closer to him than anyone else.

"So, what happened?" he asked.

"Ms. Sauvé called Social Services and they took me away from my dad," I said quietly.

"Good. Now he can't hurt you anymore."

"Not good," I replied. "I'm fifteen years old and I'm in foster care Jay! No one will ever adopt me because I'm too old. I don't even want anyone to adopt me! I want my mom back." I felt tears forming behind my eyes and let them spill over.

"It will be so much better for you here," he assured me. "I know you want your mom back, and maybe that will happen for you some day. But right now, you should be thankful that you have somewhere to live, far away from that monster."

"My father wasn't always a monster," I whispered.

"I know. I shouldn't have said that. Why don't you tell me about this place?" he suggested.

"Well, my foster mom's name is Sarah. I apparently have a foster brother—she adopted him when he was ten—but I haven't seen him yet. He's my age and he goes to Degrassi. She hasn't told me his name because he apparently wants to surprise me or something. I guess he knows who I am," I explained.

"That's good, right? You'll have someone here that will help you get through this," he told me.

"I want you to be here," I said. I had no idea where that came from, but I looked into his eyes and I meant it.

He leaned forward and our lips met as I closed my eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for being so patient while I was gone on vacation. I just got home and I wanted to update this right away. I don't know when I'll have time to write more chapters though! I'm hoping to finish it soon. **


	19. Hard Love

**Chapter Nineteen: Hard Love **

_**Craig**_

I can't be gay. There's no way. It's just not possible. Alex is the gay twin, I'm the straight twin. That's the way it's always been and it can't change now. I can't do this. I can't fall for a guy. I'm not gay.

I'll just go to Emma's, tell her I made a huge mistake, and we'll get back together. I really do love her, and I'll stay with her for the rest of our lives to prove that I'm straight. We can get married eventually, have kids, and be a family.

But it wouldn't feel right, would it? Because my whole life, I'd still be thinking about Spinner. And I'd wonder what would have happened if I just let him love me. Why does life have to be so difficult? Why does it have to be full of these decisions that define who you are? Why do I have to be gay?

I knew I'd never really be happy with Emma, no matter how much I wanted to be. She was a really good friend, but that was about it. Really good friends are important though. I realized then how crappy I'd treated her. I owed her an explanation, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to share my thoughts with anyone other than my sister.

What if Emma didn't understand? What if no one understood? What if Alex was the only person who ever got me? I was afraid of the answers to all of those questions, but I knew I had to find out eventually.

_**Manny **_

I woke up and felt someone's arms around me. When I opened my eyes, I instantly remembered what happened the night before. I reached out and touched Jay's cheek. His eyelids fluttered and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Good morning," he said softly, a smile spreading across his face.

"Hey," I said back. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Last night was…nice." I sat up and pulled the blanket over my chest after realizing it was bare. I grinned, embarrassed, as he sat up next to me.

"It was nice but also…"

"Awkward?" I offered. He nodded.

"So we're just friends then," he said. I laughed and agreed.

"But thanks. I needed to feel safe and you helped." I hugged him and was about to say something else when the door opened.

"Manny, Mom wants you to…oh. Sorry…"

"And I guess you're my new brother," I said to the blonde boy standing in front of us.

"I'm Jay. You're Peter, right? Vice President of The Equality Club?" Jay asked.

"Yep that's me. I was also just leaving. But anyway, Manny, Mom wants you to get up now so you're not late for school. I'm gonna suggest that Jay goes out the window to avoid any conflict…" he said before shutting the door and leaving.

"Well, you heard the man," Jay said, standing up. He found his shirt and pants somewhere on the floor and got dressed. "I'll see you at lunch," he told me before climbing out the window.

After he was gone, I finally got up out of bed. I gathered a bunch of my stuff and got a shower as quickly as I could. Once I was dressed, I made my way out to the kitchen, where Sarah and Peter were already eating breakfast.

"Good morning Manny," Sarah said with a big smile on her face. "I made some pancakes and eggs for breakfast but if you don't like those, there's cereal in the cabinet," she told me.

"Pancakes are fine," I said, taking what appeared to be my seat at the table.

So Peter was my foster brother. I had seen him around school, but we'd never spoken to each other before. He was really kind of a loner, and didn't really fit in with any of the cliques. I instantly felt bad for him because now I understood how he must feel all the time. Now I knew what it felt like to live with a family that wasn't yours to begin with.

It was like being completely alone even when there were other people in the room. It just wasn't the same as home.

_**Marco **_

"We need to talk." Those were the first words Jay Hogart had ever spoken to me. It's not like we didn't like each other; we'd just never found a reason to talk before. He'd been waiting for me by my locker that morning.

"Yeah, we do," I sighed. "When?"

"Can you skip your first class? It's really important. I'll drive us somewhere, away from here," he offered.

"Sure," I agreed.

And with those few words, we were somehow already bonded. Maybe not best friends, but we knew that something wasn't right and that we were both involved.

Jay drove us to the mall, but we didn't go inside. We got out of the car and he sat on the hood, while I paced back and forth in front of him. How would I begin to tell him something that he didn't know about his own best friend?

"How long has Paige been living at your house?" he asked, starting the conversation for me.

"Not that long. A little less than a week," I told him.

"Why? She said it had something to do with Steve, but I don't get why she didn't come to me. I'm her best friend. I was her only friend until you. I know Steve was a total asshole but how did it get so bad that she had to move out?" He had so many questions and just kept blurting them out. I stopped him when I put a hand down on his shoulder.

"Steve's been doing more than just calling Paige names. She was afraid to tell anyone. She was embarrassed and she didn't want to add to your problems."

"What has he been doing to her?" he asked with a look of panic on his face.

"He was touching her and kissing her. He pushed her down on her bed and was forcing himself on her that night she broke his nose," I said.

"I was outside in the car that night. Did he…"

"No, he didn't. At least, that's what she said," I added.

"I can't believe I didn't notice that she was lying to me about what he was doing to her. All she told me was that he called her names, and I believed her," Jay said, hanging his head.

"There's more." His head snapped back up and he looked like he was going to cry. "She was cutting herself, Jay. To deal with it all."

"No, Paige would never hurt herself. She's not like that," he disagreed.

"I saw the scars. I saw her do it. I know it's really hard to believe, but she was."

"I have to talk to her," he said, jumping off the car. "But first, we have to talk about Manny."

"What do you know about Manny?" I asked, suddenly very worried. It was like Jay and I switched places and switched girlfriends. Except for the fact that Paige wasn't his girlfriend.

_**Ellie **_

"Can we talk?"

I looked up to see my former best friend standing over my lunch table.

"It must be important if you skipped a class just to be here," I said. She sat down across from me and sighed.

"I'm so sorry Ellie," she blurted out. It looked like she was close to tears. "You're my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean what I said to you before class that day. I've just been going through some stuff. I know there's no excuse for treating anyone like crap, but I can't go back and change anything. I just hope you'll forgive me."

I wasn't sure what to say. I could've used my best friend these past couple of weeks, but even though I was angry with Manny, I couldn't hold a grudge. I needed her before and I definitely needed her now.

"I forgive you," I said, reaching across the table and holding onto her hand for a moment.

"How's Alex? I have nothing against you dating a girl. I think it's great that you found someone you can relate to. What's been going on with her?" she asked me as if we'd never been fighting.

"Nothing," I said, sighing. "Mom found out and freaked. So I dumped her and pretended that it meant nothing. I did it to make Mom happy, but it just made me depressed. I miss her so much," I said, finally able to get it off my chest.

"You have to get her back! Screw your mom. Parents don't always know what's best for you. Tell Alex the truth. She's probably hurting just as much as you are," Manny told me.

"This is why I've needed you," I said, smiling for the first time that day. "I'm gonna take that advice. So, what's been going on with you? I knew you weren't acting like yourself these past few months."

"Ever since my mom left…my dad hasn't been the same," she said. She got teary eyed again.

"What happened?" I asked, very concerned.

"He was hurting me," she admitted as tears started falling from her eyes. "He'd just get so angry at little things, and slap me, or throw me up against the wall. I had bruises everywhere and Jay noticed."

"Oh my God Manny, I'm so sorry that I didn't realize it was happening!" I told her.

"It's not your fault. I guess it was easier for someone who doesn't know me so well to see what was wrong. Jay could tell I was lying. And he told Ms. Sauvé. They took me away from my dad and now I'm in foster care," she said, crying even more. "I just want my mom back."

I hurried around the table and pulled Manny into my arms. We hugged for what seemed like forever. I wished that I'd been there for her like I should have been.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated.

"It's not your fault," she said again.

_**Spinner **_

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Craig out of my head. I kissed him and he freaked out. But then he kissed me in the bathroom. And then he freaked out again. Ever since our second kiss, he ignored me whenever he saw me. He acted like I wasn't even there, and that really hurt.

I could handle him calling me names and pushing me around. At least then, he was acknowledging that I existed. I couldn't handle being invisible, so I approached him again at lunch.

"Can we talk?" I asked. He was sitting with Alex. I realized then that I hadn't talked to her since any of it happened. And when Craig answered me, I chickened out.

"No."

"Actually, I was talking to Alex," I lied. He almost looked…hurt. Alex turned around and got up, following me out into the hallway.

We sat down on the floor against some lockers. When I finally looked at her, I realized how horrible she looked. She had dark circles under her eyes like she hadn't slept since I last talked to her, and she looked like she was losing weight.

"You okay?" I asked her. She shook her head and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile. I've just been caught up in my own drama."

"I know," she said softly. "Don't feel bad about Craig. He's just trying to figure himself out," she told me. "He's just having a hard time dealing with being gay."

"I should say the same to you about Ellie. I saw her yesterday and she looked terrible."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Alex asked me.

"No, but it's supposed to help you realize that she's hurting too. Just like I guess Craig is hurting. We're all mixed up in this stupid love crap. It's hard to love someone who doesn't return your feelings," I sighed.

"Tell me about it. I really miss her," she said, starting to cry again.

"And I really miss Craig. I'd give anything to just go back to being friends. At least then he talked to me."

"Yeah," she agreed.

I turned to her and hugged her then, because I couldn't think of anything else to do. I hoped that Craig and Ellie would hurry up and figure themselves out before I gave up on love and Alex wasted away to nothing.

_**Jay **_

"Manny's been having some problems of her own," I told Marco after a long pause. He looked at me without saying anything. I assumed he was waiting for me to explain, so I did. "The reason she was being so bitch to everyone is because she was trying to distance herself. She didn't want anyone to find out what was happening to her."

"What was happening?" he asked frantically.

"Her dad was hurting her; beating her."

"WHAT?!?" Marco yelled. "How could I have missed that?"

"The same way I missed Paige's cutting. When you're really close to someone, it's hard to imagine that something bad is happening to them, especially if they lie about it. I'm sure you trusted Manny to tell you the truth, so you never thought she lied to you about anything," I explained.

"How did you find out?"

"I saw the bruises. I knew you weren't hurting her; especially since she got more after you two broke up. I confronted her about it and she tried to lie, but that didn't work. She eventually confessed and I told Ms. Sauvé because I didn't want it to happen anymore."

"What happened after that?" he asked.

"She was taken from him. I don't know what's happening to her dad, but Manny lives with a foster mother now. And a brother; Peter from your club," I added.

"Why didn't Peter tell me at one of the meetings?"

"Because last night was her first night there. I'm sure he didn't know about it the last time he saw you."

"I have to see her now," he said, about to get back in the car.

"There's one more thing I have to tell you," I said, sighing. I didn't want to say it, but I figured I should tell him so Manny didn't have to explain.

"What?" he asked, taking his hand off the door handle.

"Manny asked me to stay with her last night, because she was scared. And we had sex."

I closed my eyes and braced myself. I waited for Marco to charge me and start punching me, but I didn't even hear him move. I opened my eyes again and found him staring at me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "But you were broken up, so it's not like she was cheating on you or anything."

"How could you take advantage of her like that?" he asked, making it sound like I was a terrible person.

"I didn't! She asked me to and I thought it would make her feel better. It was a little awkward anyway and we agreed that we're better off as friends," I said.

"I guess I have no room to talk. Paige and I would've probably had sex if I hadn't seen her cuts," Marco confessed.

I wanted to scream at him but I didn't. I couldn't pass judgment on Marco since Manny and I actually did sleep together. I wanted to yell that Paige was a virgin and he didn't even know her at all, but I couldn't.

"We need to go talk to them," was all I said. Marco agreed and we both got in the car, ready to finally see them.

_**Emma **_

I knew it would never happen. No guy would stay in a relationship that didn't involve sex. Craig said it had nothing to do with it, but I didn't believe him. He wanted someone who would give him what I didn't. And I'd never find someone who loved me without getting some action first.

I wanted Craig back, but since that wasn't going to happen, I settled for the next best thing. I called up Ashley and we went to the ravine.

As soon as I got there, I started drinking. I knew I couldn't do what I was about to do if I was sober. If I got drunk then I at least wouldn't remember any of it in the morning.

A guy approached me as I was on my fifth beer. I didn't even know who he was, but I let him take my hand and lead me to the van that I knew so well.


	20. Don't Fail Me Now

**Chapter Twenty: Don't Fail Me Now **

_**Jay **_

"I'm so glad I found you," I told Paige as I threw my arms around her. She was just leaving the school.

"Chill out Jay. I saw you yesterday," she said, giving me a funny look as she pulled away.

"Yeah, but…" I wasn't sure how to begin. I wanted to yell at her for cutting herself, and for not telling me what was going on. But I knew that wasn't the way to deal with it. It would probably make things worse.

"What's wrong? You look weird," she said.

"Paige…I had a talk with Marco today," I said quietly. At first she looked angry, but then her features softened.

"What did he tell you?" she asked, shifting nervously on her feet.

"Everything. Why didn't you tell me? I feel like an idiot for not seeing any of it. I have to be just about the worst friend in the world," I sighed.

"It's not your fault Jay. I was too embarrassed to talk about Steve. I thought that everything he did to me was my fault, that I somehow lead him on. So I started to…hurt myself as punishment, and as a way to deal with it I guess," she explained.

"I still feel responsible," I admitted. She put her hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed it.

"You're not. I'm responsible for my own actions. And Steve's responsible for his. I don't expect you to be a mind reader," she told me.

"I think you should come stay with me at Emma's house," I blurted out.

"I'm sure her parents wouldn't like that very much. They don't even know me," she protested.

"They wouldn't mind, really," I said, not very sure of myself. She must have sensed it.

"Jay, you're my best friend, and you've always looked out for me in the past. You were there for me when my dad died, and when my mom got out of control. I love you for that, but it's time you let someone else take care of me for awhile. And it's time that I try to take care of myself," she said. "I haven't cut in a few days and I feel good about that. Marco's been helping me out a lot, and his parents don't mind me staying there. I'm just not ready to leave."

"I understand," I said, giving her a small smile. "Do you like Marco?" I suddenly asked.

"We're just friends, if that's what you're asking," she told me. "Besides, he's totally in love with Manny and he's just not my type."

"Oh, so you have a type now?" I joked. "What would that be?"

"None of your business," she said with a smile. "Come on, let's go do something fun," she suggested.

"How about a movie?" I asked. "I'd even settle for a chick flick."

"You are too good to me Jay Hogart. How many girls do you treat this way?" It was so great to have the old Paige back. I realized then how much I missed her.

"Only you, Paige Michalchuk," I said truthfully, linking my arm in hers and leading her to the car. "Only you."

_**Craig**_

I called Emma so we could talk, but her parents said she hadn't come home after school. They were worried about her, and I assured them that I would find her and tell her to call them so they'd know she was fine. And I knew exactly where to look.

I hadn't been back to the ravine since that Monday night when Ashley oh-so-graciously gave me an STD. To be honest, just the sight of all the people was making me nervous. Everyone I walked past tried to hand me a beer or a joint, and I even saw Ashley lurking in the shadows, surrounded by a bunch of guys. I almost shouted a warning to them, but thought better of it. They'd have to learn the hard way, like I did.

I couldn't see Emma anywhere, and started to hope that she wasn't really there. But then I saw the van, and wondered who was inside. My question was answered when I heard her screaming. I knew it was her right away. I ran up and pulled the door open as fast as I could. Some nasty naked guy was trying to take her pants off.

"Get the fuck away from her!" I yelled. That's when he finally noticed me and stopped in his tracks. "You heard me!" I screamed. The kid jumped up, grabbed his clothes, and ran. I was amazed that I'd actually scared someone, but then quickly remembered Emma. She was still lying down, tears pouring from her eyes. "What happened?" I asked.

"I wanted to do it at first. But the way he talked to me reminded me of…"

"Jordan?" I asked. She nodded, but didn't say another word.

"Come on, I promised your parents I'd find you. They're expecting a phone call," I said, helping her up. I put an arm around her shoulder and led her away from that awful van.

"Craig?" she said softly as we left the ravine.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

I was glad that I'd been able to help her. I handed her my cell phone so she could call her parents, and then agreed to take a walk with her before bringing her home. I had so many questions for her and so much to tell her.

"Emma…why did you go to the ravine tonight?" I finally asked.

"I was upset and I acted stupid. I just figured that you left me because I wouldn't have sex with you. I was desperate for some kind of attention and made the wrong choice."

"It was never about the sex," I told her. "I thought you knew that."

"I thought I did too," she said. "But I just…" She started to cry again, and I knew I owed her something.

"Em, the reason I broke up with you is because…" I paused, not sure if I could finish the sentence. We both stopped walking and she looked up at me expectantly, waiting for the answer. "Because I'm gay."

_**Alex **_

I was moping around my room, avoiding dinner, when my cell phone rang. At first I thought it was Craig because he was too lazy to come up and get me, so I ignored it. But then, a few minutes later, when it started to ring again, I checked the caller id and it wasn't Craig. It was Ellie.

I couldn't believe my eyes at first—I thought it was a mistake. But the name flashing across the screen, in bold, was ELLIE. It really was her. But why? The only way to find out would be to answer it, right? That's logical. Only I didn't get to it in time. When I opened the phone and said 'hello' all I got was a dial tone.

I considered calling her back, but only for a second. If whatever she had to say to me was really important, she'd call back. Only, she didn't call back. Not right away at least. I waited for almost an hour, staring at the phone in front of me on my bed. I stared at it until my eyelids got heavy and started to droop. And then, just as I was falling asleep sitting up, it rang again. It was six-thirty when she called for the third time.

But I didn't answer it.

I'm not sure what stopped me, but I just couldn't do it. This time, though, she left a voicemail.

"Hi Alex, it's me…Ellie." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I can understand why you won't answer. I know that I've treated you terribly and I probably don't deserve any of your time, but I want to talk. My mom's gone all weekend so I was thinking that maybe you could come over so we can talk in private. I really understand if you don't want to hear me out, but if you do, just come over whenever you want. Um…bye."

I took in a deep breath and didn't let it out. Ellie wanted to talk. What did that mean? Did she just want to apologize and leave it at that? Did she want to be friends again? Did she want to get back together?

The only way to find out would be to talk to her. I just wasn't sure if I was ready.

_**Marco **_

Jay gave me directions to Manny's new house. Her foster mom seemed really nice, but it was just so surreal. I waited in the living room, suddenly very nervous. Manny and I hadn't really been apart for that long, but I felt like she wouldn't forgive me for not noticing how much she'd been hurting. She was only acting like a bitch so I wouldn't find out about her dad.

My stomach started flopping around. I felt like I'd been waiting for almost an hour and I couldn't stop tapping my leg up and down. I had no idea what I was going to say to her when she finally came out. But all of my thoughts went right out the window when she came into the living room. Her head was down and she had her arms wrapped around herself. She looked so sad that I wanted to cry.

I slowly walked over to her but I was afraid to touch her. She wouldn't even look at me and I felt ashamed. I opened my mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. I just couldn't find the right words.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" I asked. I'd been trying to say exactly that, but it was Manny who said it, not me.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I was such a bitch. I'm sorry…"

"Manny, stop," I whispered. "I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I should've noticed."

"It's not your fault," she told me.

"And it's not yours either," I said.

"I missed you so much," she said, changing the subject.

I pulled her close to me and hugged her, suddenly afraid to let go.

"I won't ever leave you again," I whispered in her ear.

"Good."

_**Spinner **_

I felt ridiculous, staring at the phone for so long. I missed him. I couldn't help it. Even though he treated me like shit and pretty much acted like I didn't exist, I still missed him. Why couldn't we just be laughing over some stupid math problem? It was better then; back when we were friends and he wasn't freaking out about being gay.

I thought that maybe if I called him and apologized, things could go back to normal. Like maybe I could forget about my feelings if we could just be friends again. I finally picked up the phone and pressed the buttons; my fingers shaking. After five rings, his voicemail answered for him and I gave up.

I hoped for a minute that maybe he just wasn't near his phone, but I knew that wasn't true. He always had his phone with him, no matter what. He answered it during dinner, at the movies, and even in school if he could.

Just then, my cell phone rang. My heart started beating faster and I quickly answered it, hoping to hear Craig's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey." It was a familiar voice alright, but it wasn't the one I wanted to hear. Instead, it was my ex.

"Um, what's up?" I asked him. We hadn't spoken in at least two weeks, except for polite hellos in the hallway. I saw him at Equality Club, but we didn't talk there to avoid rumors. He still didn't want anyone to know he was bi.

"I just thought that maybe…we could spend some quality time together tonight."

"What? We're not together anymore. And you have a girlfriend…" I sighed. He wasn't the person I wanted to spend quality time with.

"I broke up with her today and I just don't want to be alone tonight. We don't have to actually do anything. I just want us to still be friends and I need to do something productive."

I felt a little sorry for him. But I was also feeling sorry for myself, so I agreed. Maybe we would _do_ something. It wasn't like I'd be _doing_ anything with Craig anytime soon, if ever.

_**Manny **_

Sarah let Marco stay for dinner, and I was very grateful. I finally felt happy again, especially since I had my boyfriend back. Jay was great, and a really good friend, but he couldn't comfort me the way Marco could.

We sat around the table, talking and laughing, like a _real_ family. I couldn't remember a time after my mom left when my dad laughed. If he ever did, it sure wasn't when I was around. For a split second, I wished he was there, but as I was clearing the table after we ate, I dropped a dish and it broke into four pieces. In my mind, I saw my father's hand come flying at me. I felt it sting my cheek. I could feel him throwing me up against the wall.

I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt Sarah's arms around me. Marco cleaned up the dish while I let her hug me, ashamed that I let my father break me like this. Every time I did something wrong, I was afraid that someone would yell at me or hit me or worse. I wasn't sure how long it would take me to get over it, to be able to accept that he couldn't hurt me again, but I knew that I had a great group of people who were willing to help me try.

_**Emma **_

"I feel so stupid," I said. I was sitting on Craig's bed while he paced around the room.

"Why would you? It's my fault for not saying anything."

"I just should have known. Or I should have at least believed you when you said it wasn't about the sex. Well, I guess, in a way, it was," I sighed. "I just feel like I'll never find the right guy."

"Don't be so dramatic Emma," he told me. "You're fifteen years old. You don't need to find the right guy yet."

"But you found him, didn't you?" I asked, grinning. He stopped pacing for a minute and looked at me funny.

"I found _a_ guy," he said finally. Then he looked down at the ground as if he were ashamed. "But I just don't understand it. I shouldn't be this way."

"You were born gay Craig. It's who you are."

"I never really believed people were born gay. I didn't even believe my own sister when she said she was. But now I guess I have to believe it," he said. It was his turn to sigh. He finally stopped pacing and looked out the window.

"You can believe whatever you want to believe. You just can't sit around here and do nothing about it. No matter what you're thinking about yourself right now, I know you're thinking about Spinner ten times more."

He quickly turned to face me, his mouth dropped open.

"How did you know it was…"

"Lucky guess. That, and you suddenly hating him for no reason," I told him.

"I don't know what to do. He probably hates me now," Craig said.

"I'm sure he doesn't. You need to go see him now," I pressed. "Just go. Don't think about it, just do it."

"And now you sound like a Nike commercial," he said, smiling.

"At least I got you to smile."

"Are you sure I should do this?" he asked.

"I'm sure."

"Will you be okay?"

"Of course I will. You're a good friend Craig. You were trying not to hurt me, and I respect that. I'm glad to have you," I told him.

Without another word, he walked over to me and pulled me up off the bed in a hug. I'd miss those arms wrapped around me, but I knew it was the right thing to do. We weren't meant to be, and I couldn't keep him from someone who might be his real match; especially if that someone was a guy.

"Wish me luck," he said when he finally pulled away.

"You don't need it," I said, smiling.

"I hope you're right."

_**Ellie **_

Actually calling Alex was the easy part. I thought it would be torture, and I called a few times, but I'd finally left the message and I was still alive. It was the waiting that was the worst. After I left that message, I cleaned my room. Then I cleaned the rest of the house. She still didn't show up.

So I took a shower and picked out a new outfit. I put on a little bit of makeup—even though she'd always told me I looked better without it—and picked out some nice earrings. I wanted to look my best for her. Maybe then she'd want to talk to me.

I sat on the couch in the living room, staring at the front door. I waited and waited for a knock, but nothing happened. I waited on that couch until one in the morning. By then I knew for sure she wasn't coming. Hell, I knew she wasn't coming from the moment I called her. But I let myself think that I could change everything with that one phone call.

By two am, my skirt was wrinkled, my earrings were thrown on the end table, and my makeup was all cried off. I curled up on the couch and tried to fall asleep. I was freezing, but I didn't even have the motivation to get up and find a blanket. I wanted Alex to lie there next to me and warm me up. I didn't want to need that blanket. I only wanted her. But she never came.

* * *

**A/N: I'm slowly trying to resolve the problems. If you couldn't tell, Manny's story is now over. There will probably be only one more POV from her for the rest of the fic, but I'm not even sure about that. Tell me what you think!**

**NickyFox13: Alex and Ellie aren't friends again. Sorry! That was Ellie and Manny talking in the last chapter. Manny asked about Alex; it wasn't Alex talking to her. **


	21. The Sound Of My Breaking Heart

**Chapter Twenty-One: The Sound Of My Breaking Heart **

_**Craig **_

Emma was right. I had to do this. I had to see him before it was too late.

Luckily, my parents never heard me leave the house. I knew I'd be in trouble in the morning, but it was worth it if Spinner and I could at least be friends again. Of course, I didn't really want to settle for friends. I at least wanted another kiss.

I was so desperate that I actually walked to his house. How else would I get there? It was three in the morning, and I didn't have any friends with cars, except Spinner. I probably could've called him up and he probably would've gotten me in a heartbeat—but I wanted to surprise him. I thought it would be better.

I got hopeful when I approached the house and saw Spinner's bedroom light on. The living room light was also on, making me glad that someone else was up too. I prayed I wasn't going to wake his parents up, but that didn't matter, because their car wasn't in the driveway. What were the odds?

When I finally knocked on the door, my hand was shaking. I was so nervous that I thought I would throw up all over the doorstep. As the door opened, I started to get excited. My heart dropped a little when I saw Marco on the other side of the door. _Don't be so upset,_ I told myself. _He's Spinner's brother. Of course he might answer the door. _

"Hey Craig, what's up? Isn't it a little late for a visit?" Marco asked me. It occurred to me then that Marco didn't really know what was going on at all. I knew he was having problems with Manny, so Spinner must not have told him anything. Or maybe he did, and he was just being civil. To avoid looking like an idiot, I answered him.

"Um, I just wanted to see Spinner. We need to talk. I'm sorry if I bothered you," I said.

"Oh no, not at all. I actually just got home from Manny's a few hours ago and I've been watching TV. Spinner's been in his room all night with the music up. I have no idea what he's doing but I figured I would let him have some privacy," he explained.

"Well…do you think I could interrupt him?" I asked.

"Sure, sorry," he said, laughing. "I'm being really rude. Come on in."

He held the door open for me and I slowly stepped inside, squinting against the bright lights. Once my eyes were adjusted, I realized Marco was staring at me.

"Right," I said, turning away from him. "I'll just go upstairs now."

"Good luck," he said to my back. He must've known something if he wished me luck, and that made me get nervous all over again. I knocked on Spinner's bedroom door and nothing happened. The music was still blaring from the other side of the door. It didn't even sound like anything he'd listen to. I knocked again. Still nothing. He must not have been able to hear me. It was stupid of me to think that it was because of the music.

I slowly turned the doorknob and it wasn't locked. So I pushed the door open. The moment I saw him, tears started to drip from my eyes. I didn't actually realize I was crying until I was down the stairs and out the door.

I could hear Spinner calling my name behind me but I just kept running. I blew it. I thought surprising Spinner would be nice. I thought he'd be happy to see me. That maybe he was waiting for me to show up. Well, I obviously thought wrong.

_**Alex **_

I couldn't sleep. Turning over and over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position, is not fun. And of course she was the reason. Ellie.

I pretended not to hear Craig sneak out of the house. What did I care? I highly doubted he was going out to party again, and if he was, I'd kick his ass in the morning. I just hoped he was going to see Spinner.

Thinking about him seeing Spinner made me want to see Ellie. But how could I just go see her? She'd been treating me like total shit. I didn't mean much to her if she could move on with Jimmy so fast. I knew it was my fault though. I was too unattractive; too fat. I ignored my stomach rumbling and rolled over again so I could look out the window.

Ellie loved that view of the stars.

Fuck! Why couldn't I get her out of my mind? _Because she called. Because she wanted me to come over_, I thought to myself. _And I didn't go._

I wondered then what she was doing. Was she still waiting for me? Probably not. She was most likely thinking that my fat ass would take too long to walk over there.

Fuck her. I'll show her just how quickly my fat ass could get there.

I got up and threw my clothes on that I wore that day. If Craig could go out, then so could I. The clock read 4:03 am. So what if it was too early? If I had to prove to Ellie that I could get to her house on my own, I would.

It was not as easy as I thought it would be. The last time I walked to her house, I felt fine. But now I was completely out of breath, and sweat was dripping from my forehead. I guess I wasn't exercising enough. That goes to show how fat I really was. I couldn't even walk to her house without getting tired.

I didn't even knock on the door. I was too tired to even raise my fist to knock. I knew her mom wasn't home, so in I went. Luckily for me, it was unlocked. I locked it behind me, so no crazies could get in, and proceeded to her bedroom. I didn't get all the way there though, because I found her asleep on the couch.

She looked so beautiful. She had mascara and eyeliner smudged all over her cheeks, and she was curled up in a little ball. She was wearing a skirt and cute little shirt. Did she do that all for me? Probably. And me, being the asshole that I was, ruined it for her. But why was Ellie crying over me? She was the one who broke up with me. She left me for her mom and never looked back.

Still, she was gorgeous. She was the Ellie that I missed, not the Ellie that made out with Jimmy Brooks in public. And she looked so cold. There were goose bumps all over her arms and legs. I was going to get her a blanket, but then decided against it.

Maybe, just maybe I could fit on the couch behind her and warm her up. I probably couldn't get all my fat into that one little area without shoving her off. I guess it was worth a try, anyway. If I woke her up, then too bad. She deserved a little drop anyway.

Surprisingly, I was able to stuff myself back there. I even had enough room to move forward, up against her back. I guess it was a bigger couch than I thought.

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck. She didn't even move at all. It was like she didn't feel me there at all. I tried to pretend that it was just like old times, but it didn't feel that way. Not one bit.

_**Spinner**_

"I can't believe that just happened," I said angrily, pulling my jeans and a t-shirt on.

"I thought that shit only happened in the movies," Sean said, laughing.

"It's not funny! He probably thinks that…"

"What, that we're getting back together? Would that be so horrible?"

"This was just a one time thing Sean! Fuck, I only invited you over because Craig wouldn't answer my calls."

"Thanks for using me," he replied.

"Shut up. You were using me too. I know you only called and wanted to hang out because you broke up with Ashley due to her slutty-ness."

"Look on the bright side. Maybe Craig didn't see anything. Maybe he just saw us without shirts and freaked. We could say that we were exercising or something," he said. He was grinning, and that pissed me off.

"Yeah Sean, we were wrestling naked for exercise. He saw your fucking lips wrapped around my dick! I don't think he's off making any assumptions. He knows what he saw and he's off running around town trying to get it out of his mind!" I yelled.

"Everything okay in here?" I heard my brother ask from the doorway. "Shit," he muttered when he saw Sean. "I wouldn't have ever let him in if I knew your ex was here."

"I have a name Marco," Sean said impatiently.

"I need to go find him," I said, pushing past Sean and moving around my brother.

"Just let him cool off," Sean told me.

"Mind your own business!" I yelled at him.

"This is my business!" he yelled right back. "We were having a good time before that ass showed up. He's been calling you a faggot in the hallways and acting like you don't exist, but you're worried about him?" Sean actually looked hurt, and I almost felt guilty, but then I came back to my senses.

"You just can't handle the fact that I care about him. You want me to be miserable like you are because your girlfriend will have sex with anyone but you!"

"I'm gonna mind my own business and go to bed," I heard Marco say. After he left, Sean stepped forward and shoved me.

"You don't know a thing about me and Ashley so stay out of it!" he screamed.

I shoved him back, suddenly really pissed off. Sean was keeping me from finding Craig. Something bad could happen to him while he was out there, upset. I knew I wouldn't get out of this fight that easy, though. Sean was one of those "tough guys" and if someone threatened him, he threatened right back.

He grabbed me and pinned me up against the wall, swearing and spitting in my face. I didn't hear anything he was saying to me though. He was so close to me that the words just weren't hitting me. They were hitting the wall behind me, maybe. I was just trying to focus on Craig.

The plan was to let Sean get his spiel out and take out all his frustration, then get out of there as quickly as possible. That plan didn't last too long though. Sean started saying shit about Craig. As soon as I heard Craig's name, all of his words hit my ears. And that pissed me off even more.

With all of the strength I had in me, I shoved him to the ground and punched him in the face. It hurt my hand—oh it hurt so much. I jumped off of him and he just lay there for a minute, looking stunned.

"Better be careful. That's how I broke my hand." I looked up to see Paige standing a few feet away, holding her cast up.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. I completely forgot you were staying here," I said, sighing.

"It's okay. At least we don't have school tomorrow," she said. Before I could reply, Sean slowly stood up and blocked her from my view.

"Oh…" he said softly, looking at the floor. There was a little spot of blood on it. I looked up at his face and saw more blood trickling out of his nose, forming a puddle in his hand.

"Are you okay?" Paige asked, taking a few steps toward him.

"Don't come near me!" he yelled, running across the hall, into the bathroom.

Paige and I exchanged looks before following him.

"He must be embarrassed that _I_ made him bleed," I said with a chuckle.

"Spinner!" he yelled from the other side of the door. "Did you get any blood on your hand?"

"Why?" I called back. The door flew open and he looked horrified. His nose was plugged up with toilet paper, and I wanted to laugh, but the look on his face told me that I shouldn't.

"Let me see!" he hissed. I obediently held up my hand, feeling very confused. "Good," he said, letting out a small sigh.

"Is your nose broken?" Paige asked, reminding us both that she was there.

"No, it's fine. Let me go clean the blood up, okay? Don't go near it," he warned.

"Why does it matter so much Sean? It's just blood. It's not gonna hurt anyone. Just let me help you," I told him.

"NO!" he screamed. "Get away from me!"

"What is your problem?" I screamed right back. Here we go again!

"You want to know what my problem is?" he yelled. "My PROBLEM is that I have HIV!"

I actually stumbled backwards, I was so surprised. What? Sean was HIV positive? When did that happen? We've had sex! He was my boyfriend! Did he have it back then? Do I have it?

All of these thoughts were racing through my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I started to get dizzy. Any worries I had about Craig went right out the window. Now I was worried about Sean, and more importantly, myself.

_**Ellie **_

I woke up the next morning very scared. I could feel someone behind me and I didn't know who it was. I stiffened my back, and whoever it was tightened their grip. I tried to think back to the night before…

Alex never showed up, did she? No. I cried myself to sleep on this couch.

I looked down at the hands wrapped around me. Those were Alex's hands. I was sure of it. I knew those hands. The thought occurred to me that I might be dreaming. I hoped I wasn't and closed my eyes, whispering,

"Alex?"

Nothing. I could barely hear her breathing and she sure as hell didn't answer me.

People always say that if you think you're dreaming, you should pinch yourself and you'll wake up. Or if you pinch yourself, it'll hurt and you'll know you're not dreaming. Whatever it's supposed to do, I thought of that. Only I didn't pinch myself. I pinched Alex.

Her hand jumped and slipped off of me. Great. So, she wouldn't wake up and now her arm was wedged between her front and my back. Not very comfortable.

I was about to get off the couch and shake her when I heard her voice.

"You shouldn't have left the door unlocked all night. Some crazy person could've come in and kidnapped you," she whispered in my ear.

"Thanks for looking out for me," I said. I felt like everything was back to normal and I couldn't help but smile. And then the moment ended, because Alex sat up and distanced herself from me.

"You can't do that to me," she said, looking away.

"Do what?"

"Try to pretend that nothing has happened and you still love me and make me fall for you again…"

"I do still…"

"You can't even say it Ellie. You let your mom brainwash you and you went along with her stupid shit to make _her_ happy!" she nearly screamed it at me, and there were tears in her eyes.

It was the first time that morning that I actually looked at Alex. I couldn't believe what I saw. There were dark circles under her eyes and I could see her cheekbones protruding from her face. She reminded me of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but with black hair instead of blonde.

"Alex, you look horrible!" I cried, completely interrupting her.

"You don't have to remind me. I can't help it; I've been stressed. I have to lose weight, okay?" she snapped. She covered her body with her arms, but that didn't help.

"You haven't gained any weight! You've lost at least ten pounds and you were already skinny enough to begin with!" I argued. "Have you even been eating?"

"Stop trying to change the subject Ellie." She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned.

Looking at Alex made me sick. It made me sick to think that I abandoned her and this is what happened. She stopped eating because of what I did. I wanted to smack myself for not noticing it sooner. I'd been trying to preoccupy myself with Jimmy while Alex was starving herself. She thought she was fat, for God's sake! I wanted to cry, so I did.

"What, you want me to feel sorry for you now?" she snapped as she eyed my tears.

"No. Alex I…it breaks my heart to see you like this…to know that it's my fault. You have to eat," I said, trying to convince her.

"I _have_ been eating," she lied, looking away from me.

"No you haven't. Stop lying to me. Just tell me why you would do this. I know that I hurt you and I'm sorry, but why would you stop eating? Did you feel like you couldn't control anything else in your life?"

"You're not my therapist," Alex said, looking back into my eyes. "I don't even have one. You want to know why I stopped?" she asked. I was surprised that she admitted to it, but I just nodded. "Because _you _broke _my _heart." It was barely a whisper, but it was enough to bring her to tears. We were both staring at each other, crying over the same situation.

"If I tell you, will you start eating again?" I asked.

"Tell me what?" she said between tears.

"I love you Alex. I _love_ you."

I moved closer to her and looked directly into her eyes to show her that I meant it. I meant it with every piece of my heart.

I knew she understood the moment I felt her lips on mine.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter is the last one!  
**


	22. Family Matters

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Family Matters **

_**Manny**_

I didn't really talk much in my new home for the first three weeks that I was there. I sat quietly at dinner, afraid to say something stupid that would make Sarah or Peter want me out of there. I'd heard some horror stories about foster homes, and especially about teenagers never being permanently placed.

The more I thought about my mom coming back for me, the more I knew it wouldn't happen. I didn't know where she was, and she probably wouldn't be able to find me now. Who knows, maybe she did know where I was and still didn't want to find me. She could've signed away her parental rights or something. As I realized that she wasn't going to show herself any time soon, I also realized that I wanted to find a permanent home.

A small part of me thought that my dad would get better and take me back. That he'd figure out how to channel his anger into something positive. He did always apologize afterwards, so maybe he really was sorry. Maybe he really missed me. I knew that wasn't true either. So I wanted to stay with Sarah and Peter as long as I could. Sure, even if I got to stay until I was eighteen, I would only be there for three years. I had no idea if that was long enough to actually become part of the family.

After I did all of this thinking, I figured I'd better try to fit in, or they might throw me out. For that reason, I decided to go to the park with Peter when he asked me to. The walk there was silent, much like the dinners we had together. I followed him into the middle of the field where he lay down, staring up at the sky. After a bit of hesitation, I joined him.

"So…" he said. I could tell he was trying to get me to talk. He did that a lot, but it didn't usually work. Today was his lucky day.

"Peter, can I ask you something personal?"

"Maybe," he answered. I could tell by his voice that he was surprised I was actually talking, but he also didn't know what to say. "Depends on what you want to know."

"How did you end up with Sarah?"

"I never really had a dad. I guess my mom didn't know who he was. That didn't bother me though. What did bother me were all the men she brought through the house. They were disgusting and they…"

He stopped suddenly, and I thought he was done with his story. I didn't want to look at him in case he was crying or angry or something else. So I just stared up at the clouds.

"I don't like talking about them. But when I was in second grade, I walked in on them doing drugs. I didn't know what it was at the time; my mom said it was candy. I found out later that she was addicted to a lot of things, and those men were dealers.

"Anyway, she got really high one night and got into a fight with a dealer. He shot both of us. She didn't make it, but I did."

The story ended there, and I was shocked. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes.

"How did you…live?" I finally asked.

"I don't know. I lost a lot of blood, but I guess it wasn't in a crucial spot or something. Just my leg," he added. Without me asking, he sat and pulled up his pant leg. I could see the scar, right there below his knee. I sat up next to him and reached out, touching it.

"Do you ever miss her?" I asked. It was a stupid question, but I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Every day. I always wonder what my life would be like if she hadn't died. But Sarah's my mother now. She's tried so hard to raise me, and she's done a really good job. I started calling her Mom when I was ten. I've realized now that the day I was shot was probably the best day of my life. I was able to be a kid after that. I didn't have to take care of myself anymore."

"Sometimes I think it would be better if my mom had died. That way, she wouldn't have chosen to leave me," I confessed. It was a horrible thing to think about, but I couldn't help it.

"You'll see her someday and you'll be glad she's still alive. Sometimes people feel like they need to run away for awhile. She'll be back. No one could leave someone as great as you for too long," he told me.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Every word."

I leaned forward and hugged him; Peter, my _brother_. I already felt like I was on the right track towards being part of a real family.

I only hoped I could stay on it.

_**Emma **_

"Sorry I haven't been hanging out much lately. I've just had a lot going on with Paige and Manny. It's not really an excuse though. You're family, and you should come first," Jay said to me. We were in the car, on our way to see his mom. We had a day of ice cream and Candy Land planned with her.

"It's okay, really. I've had my own Craig stuff going on," I told him, sighing.

"I'm guessing he told you then?"

"Told me what?"

"About Spinner."

"How did you know about that?" I asked, surprised.

"We had a talk one day. He told me Spinner kissed him and I could just tell that there was something more to the story. He wouldn't open up to me, but I hoped he would talk to you about it," he explained. "Are you two okay now?"

"We're not together, if that's what you mean. He's completely gay. We're still friends, but he's upset with me that he took my advice a few weeks ago," I said.

"What happened?" Jay asked.

"I told him to go for it. To go tell Spinner how he felt. But it wasn't the right time, and he walked in on him and Sean naked...doing unmentionable things..."

"Sean?!?" he asked, definitely surprised.

"Yep. Apparently, Sean is Spinner's mysterious ex. Craig hasn't talked to him since, even though I told him he should. He didn't want to take my advice this time. Don't tell anyone about Sean though, okay?"

"I won't; don't worry. I just can't believe that. Poor Craig."

"He'll get over it, mainly because I'm going to make him. He's been miserable since that night. I know that he just wants to be with Spinner. I'm going to try to make that happen."

"Maybe you should just stay out of it…" my cousin warned.

"Or maybe you should help me!"

Jay wasn't someone who could help me get over my fears of sex. And he definitely wasn't someone I could fall in love with. But he was someone who would love me no matter what, and would help me get through each day with a smile on my face. I didn't have a brother, but I had a cousin who would look out for me and be a really good friend. I was lucky to have him.

_**Spinner **_

"I'm so sorry that this is happening," Sean said to me. "It's my fault."

"No, it's not. We both should've gotten tested a long time ago. We knew there were risks with sex. And you didn't know you had it," I told him.

Sean told me the story about how he got HIV. He was only thirteen at the time, and he was having thoughts about boys. He made the mistake of trying to find someone too old for him. It was a guy who was twenty, and drunk. When Sean changed his mind, the boy wouldn't let him go. He was so afraid to go near another guy for such a long time. But when he met me, he said that I calmed his fears and he wanted to be with me.

If I had known that Sean was raped, I would've never had sex with him. For one thing, there would've been a possibility that he caught something. But I also wouldn't have wanted to remind him of anything from that terrible night. I never asked him if I did though. I didn't want to know.

"What's going to happen if you test positive?" Marco asked me.

Sean, Marco, Paige, and I were waiting for my results. They were supposed to come in the mail that day. I got tested the minute the clinic opened, that day I found out about Sean. Since then, he and I had spent a lot of time together, crying and laughing about the past and about what would happen next. I realized in those few weeks that I still had some feelings for him, though they weren't as strong as the ones I had for Craig.

I still missed him so much, and the question my brother asked me scared me so much that I didn't want to answer it.

"It's manageable, you know. Sean's got it and he's fine. I'll just have to take a lot of medication and I should be okay…" I said this very unsurely, but I said it anyway. "But…I can't be with Craig," I sighed. This thought brought tears to my eyes.

Sure, Craig might never forgive me anyway, but there was a chance that he would. There was a chance that I could get him back…if I didn't have HIV. Sean fidgeted on the couch next to me. I looked over to him and he looked upset.

"And then what?" he asked me. I knew what he wanted to hear. He wanted me to say that if I tested positive, I would be with him. It was a likely choice, since he already had it and there wasn't a chance that I would be infecting someone who was negative. I just didn't know if that was what I wanted. I absolutely did not want to be positive; no one in their right mind would _want _to.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Sean, I…"

I had no idea what I was about to say to him, but I was interrupted by a knock on the door. My heart started beating faster than it ever had before. I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest.

"Is this it?" I asked out loud. Marco and Sean stared at me, probably feeling almost as bad as I did.

"Why would the mailman knock though?" Paige asked. That was a very good question. He wouldn't.

I calmed down a little bit, but not very much, as I got up to answer the door.

When I saw who it was, my heart sped up again.

_**Ellie **_

Getting Alex to open up again wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I figured that once we shared that kiss, everything would fall back into place. I was really wrong.

It took a week of me calling her to get her to answer the phone, and the week after that, we finally hung out. I told my mom I was going out with Jimmy though, and that hurt her.

I have been making sure that I see her eat something every time I'm with her, but I'm still worried. Even though we talk in school again and I sometimes walk her home, things aren't the same. She pulls away from my kisses most of the time, and she usually acts like she doesn't care if we're together or not. I've tried to chalk it up to her being afraid that I'll hurt her again, and I hope it isn't more than that. I don't plan on hurting her, so she shouldn't be worried.

It was a Saturday afternoon, three weeks after that kiss on my couch, when I realized how I could keep her from being upset with me. I was so nervous, but I knew it had to happen sometime. I was getting ready to go see a movie with Alex when my mom came into my bedroom. Perfect timing.

"Getting all dressed up for Jimmy?" she asked me, grinning. That grin was making me sick. She didn't care that she'd been forcing me to live a lie to make her happy.

"Nope," I said, appearing confident, though I was really trying to keep my hands from shaking as I applied my eyeliner.

"Where are you going then?" she suddenly looked confused.

"Jimmy and I broke up, Mom," I confessed, turning so I could look her in the eye. "About three weeks ago, actually." I'd broken up with him after my talk with Manny. He didn't even seem all that upset about it.

"Then where _have_ you been going all this time?" she asked. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was getting angry. And I suspected that she knew where I was going.

"I've been hanging out with Alex. We're going to the movies today."

"You're seeing that girl again?" she nearly screamed.

I wouldn't let her get the best of me this time. And I wouldn't let Alex go again.

"You know what we'll do? We'll hold hands the whole way to the movies, and we'll kiss there in the dark. Maybe we'll even stop by her house afterwards. Her parents are out for the day and we might have some fun in her bed. I'll do it all, knowing that I told you, and that will make me so happy. I'm not going to live your lie anymore, Mom. And if you won't love me just because I love Alex, then I won't live with you at all."

I said it all without taking a breath, and when I was done, I felt so much better. How could I have ever turned my back on Alex to make my mother happy?

She stood there, her mouth hanging half open, and didn't say a word. I stared right back, waiting for her to break.

"You love her?" she asked softly.

"Yes, I do," I said, full of confidence this time. My hands weren't shaking anymore. I expected her to start screaming at me to pack my bags, but that didn't happen. Instead of yelling, she started to cry.

"Eleanor," she said. "I love you so much. I'm just so afraid for you. Do you know how different you'll be treated if you're with her? You're my only child, and I can't bear to think of you having a hard life just because you love a girl. I wanted you to get married one day, and give me grandchildren. And now that might not happen, and it just makes me so upset." She spilled all of her emotions out at my feet, and I actually felt guilty for a second. But only a second.

"I need to have my own dreams. I will get married one day. Maybe I'll marry a guy, or maybe I'll marry a girl. And there's always adoption. I never really liked the idea of squeezing a kid out. Anyway, my point is that I'm going to love whoever I fall in love with. It doesn't have to be hard. If anyone doesn't like that, then they can kiss my ass," I told her.

"Watch your mouth!" she snapped. "Come here." She held her arms open and I gladly stepped forward to hug her. "Have fun with Alex tonight, okay? Just not too much fun."

For the first time in a long time, I smiled a genuine smile at my mother. When she finally let me go, I made my way out the door. But I stopped and turned around to say one more thing.

"I love you too Mom."

_**Craig **_

"I…" I couldn't find anything to say. When I showed up at Spinner's for the second time unannounced, it looked like they were having a little party or something. Sean was there, unfortunately, along with Paige and Marco.

"Please come in," Spinner said. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since I walked in on him and Sean two weeks ago. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I asked, unsure of what to do. He wanted to talk, but Sean was right there. I didn't want to go inside just to find out that they were back together.

"Please," was all he said. And I listened. Once we were in the house, he led me up to his room. I immediately sat on the bed; I didn't want to be standing for bad news.

"Spinner…" he started pacing, and acted like he didn't hear me.

"Inviting Sean over that night was a mistake. It was stupid, and I only did it because you wouldn't answer my calls. He also broke up with Ashley that night, and he was upset, so I felt sorry for him.

"If that's all true, then why didn't you go after me? Or at least call me the next day. Why didn't you try to get in touch with me and tell me that?" I asked. I wasn't sure if he was telling me the truth or not.

"I was going to go out and find you. Trust me Craig, I really wanted to. But I found something out about Sean shortly after, and I hate to say this, but it was more important."

That hurt so much. Just hearing him talk about Sean was bad enough, but hearing him say that something having to do with Sean was more important was even worse.

"I can tell by the look on your face that you're upset. But I'm talking about life and death here. _My _life," he added.

"What's wrong?" I choked up, afraid that Spinner was about to tell me something really bad.

"I found out that Sean is HIV positive. We had sex after he got it, though he didn't know he had it at the time. And I might have it now. We're all here, waiting for the results."

"Didn't you use a condom?" I nearly screamed. I felt like crying, and I almost did. "How could you…"

"I know how you're feeling right now, but imagine if you were me. I'm going to find out _today_ if my life ends here."

"You're not gonna die Spin. It's manageable, right? Sean has HIV, not AIDS. Everything will be fine," I didn't know what I was saying, but I had to reassure him, and myself. "What's going to happen if you get it?" I finally asked.

"I can't be with you." Now he had tears in _his_ eyes. "I would never risk your health like that."

"Like Sean risked yours," I said coldly, crossing my arms.

"It's not like that Craig. He didn't know. And it's not his fault that he got it either."

"So that's why he wouldn't have sex with Ashley," I said. "But how is it not his fault? He probably slept around. And now that he's learned his lesson, it's too late."

"It's not his fault because he was raped," Spinner said, letting his tears flow down his cheeks.

* * *

I distanced myself from Spinner in the living room and sat next to Paige. I felt stupid for blaming Sean after Craig told me the whole story. But I still didn't know what to do about the situation. I still had feelings for Spinner. I wanted to be with him. But if he tested positive, I'd never get that chance.

Spinner thought his results were coming in the mail. They weren't. The mailman came and went, and there was nothing in there but bills. We all wondered what was going to happen next, when the phone rang.

He slowly picked it up and I suddenly wished I was right there next to him, holding his hand. Only it was Sean who was doing that. I was so jealous of him right then. I didn't want him to comfort Spinner, no matter how selfish that was. Despite all of these thoughts running through my mind, I couldn't move. I couldn't go over there and replace Sean because I was so afraid that it wouldn't matter anyway.

"Are you sure?" Spinner asked the person on the other line. He swallowed hard, and started to cry again. "Th-thanks," he stuttered, hanging up the phone.

We all looked to him for the news. He stood up and slipped his hand from Sean's.

"It was…negative," he said, a huge smile forming on his face.

I couldn't wait to do it. I ran forward, grabbed his face, and kissed him hard. It was like everyone else in the room disappeared. It was only us, and it would stay that way.

_**Paige **_

Once Craig finally pulled himself away from Spinner, we all gave him congratulatory hugs. Sean was fidgeting by the couch, and I could tell he didn't know what to do. He was obviously relieved that he hadn't given HIV to Spinner, but it was a bitter sweet victory for him. It meant that he didn't have a chance now. I knew he wouldn't risk infecting Spinner again after such a close call. He finally hugged Spinner one more time, and, without a word to anyone, left the house. I felt bad for him, but I was happier for my friend. Marco and Spinner had been like brothers to me these past few weeks, and I would've been devastated if something like that happened to either one of them.

While we were celebrating a little while longer, there was another knock at the door.

"I don't think I can handle any more news for today," Spinner said.

"I'll get it," I offered. When I opened the door, I didn't know what to do. It wasn't news for Spinner, it was apparently news for me.

* * *

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

She was standing there in front of me, her face and eyes red from crying. She looked terrible; like she hadn't slept in days. She looked like she always did when she needed a drink.

"Paige," she said, bursting into fresh tears. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry. I can't believe that I…"

She was talking so loud I was sure the neighbors could hear, so I pulled her inside and shut the door. I realized then that my friends decided to give us some privacy, because my mother and I were the only ones left in the room. I made her sit on the couch, but I couldn't bring myself to sit next to her.

"Mom, what are you going on about?" I asked, tears forming in my own eyes.

"He's gone. I made him leave. You can come home now. Please come home," she cried. I looked her in the eyes and knew she was telling the truth. I wasn't sure what exactly she was talking about, but I had to cry anyway. She brought _him_ up, and now we'd have that conversation. She needed to hear a lot from me, and I was going to make her listen.

"What made you come to your senses?" I asked, suddenly feeling very angry. This was my mom, but she was also the woman who chose alcohol and some scumbag over her own flesh and blood. She threw me away for cheap thrills. "Why did you _finally_ throw that bastard out?"

"We got into a fight a few weeks ago. And he…he told me what he was doing to you. And it's all my fault. I _trusted _him and…" she started sobbing, unable to finish talking.

"Don't try to make me feel sorry for you. I had to fight Steve all on my own. He wouldn't keep his hands or mouth off of me and you couldn't help because you were drunk all the time. Do you think Dad would've wanted this for us?" I cried. "I started to CUT myself because I couldn't deal with it anymore." My tears won over hers. I sat down on the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. "I needed you and you weren't there," I said between sobs.

"I'm a terrible mother," she said. She got up from the couch and joined me on the floor, wrapping her arms around me. "Your father would be so ashamed of me. _I'm_ ashamed of me. Paige, I love you so much. I loved your father too. And after he died, I was lost. My family meant the world to me, and I felt like I was losing it all. And I guess now I have. I've lost you, the most important person in my life. I need you back, honey. And I know you need me like I used to be. I'm trying so hard to be that person again. I am so sorry that any of this happened to you. I didn't even listen to you when you were leaving. I'll understand if you'd rather stay here, but it would break my heart," she told me.

"You already broke my heart Mom," I replied, wiping my eyes. "How can I be so sure that you've changed? That you won't break it again?" I asked.

"I don't know. All I do know is that I'm trying. I haven't had a drink in a week, and I'm never going to do it again. I might have to go somewhere, where they can help me. But I need your help too. I know that I left you all alone, but I want to be here for you now. Will you give me another chance?"

"Steve might be gone, but who says you won't do it again? There are plenty of losers out there Mom. If you drink one more drop of alcohol, I swear I'll leave and you'll never see me again," I cried.

She threw her arms around me and pulled me close to her. I hadn't shared a hug with my mom since my dad died, and it felt so right. I could tell by that one hug that she was getting better, and that she would try. I never wanted to let go of her.

And I hoped I'd never have to.

_**Marco **_

"I'm so happy for you Paige," I said, hugging my friend.

"I owe this all to you," she told me. "If you hadn't sat at my table at The Dot that day, this wouldn't be happening right now. Thank you so much," she told me, hugging back.

"Don't give me all the credit. You're such a strong person. You couldn't have stopped cutting unless you really wanted to. You have amazing will power."

"I love you so much Marco. As a friend," she added.

"I love you too. Do you need help packing?" I asked her.

"Sure. It'll be one last thing for us to do together," she said.

"Don't say that! It's not like this is the last time we'll see each other. We're friends now. It doesn't end with you going back home. And don't forget that you're welcome back if you ever need to get away. You're part of the family now."

We hugged for the second time before she led the way to my bedroom. I was glad to have it back, but I was sad to see Paige go. We'd had a lot of fun since she'd been living there, and even though I knew she was going to be okay, I'd still worry about her.

"I'm glad to be part of your family Marco. But I can't wait to get back to mine now that Steve's gone."

"I know, and I'm so glad that your mom is back," I told her.

"So am I."

Once we had all of her stuff packed away, I walked her out to her mom's car.

"I'm gonna miss you," I said, hugging her one last time.

"Me too. But like you said, this isn't the end."

_**Jay **_

After Emma and I got back from spending time with my mom, I went down to my room to get some peace and quiet. I wondered what was going on with all of my friends, but I couldn't find the motivation to call anyone. I'd just drifted off to sleep when someone knocked on my window.

I wasn't even given time to get up and see who it was. Before I was out of bed, the window popped open and Paige dropped into my room. She looked like she'd been crying, so I ran over to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried. I felt bad for not calling her as soon as I got home.

"Nothing, actually. Things are finally falling into place," she said. She walked past me and sat down on my bed, leaving me confused. She patted the spot next to her, so I joined her.

"What's going on then?"

"He's gone Jay. My mom kicked him out and they're getting a divorce. She knows everything and she hasn't had a drink in a week. I'm going home!" she said excitedly.

I knew how much Paige wanted things to go back to normal, so I was very happy for her. But I was also afraid that her mom wouldn't change.

"Are you sure you want to go back right away?" I asked.

"Of course. She needs me Jay. And even though she wasn't there when I needed her, I won't turn her away. I know how it felt to have her ignore me, and no matter how much it hurt, I won't make her feel the same pain. She feels bad enough about everything I went through without her," Paige explained.

"I'm so happy for you," I told her, giving her a quick hug.

"That's exactly what Marco said."

"That's because we care about you." She smiled when I said that, and her smile made me even happier.

"My mom is going to a meeting tonight, so we have to go celebrate!" she said suddenly.

I couldn't hold my excitement in any longer. With Paige in such a great mood, and things finally looking up for her, I did what I'd wanted to do for years. I leaned forward and kissed her.

She kissed me back, but when she pulled away, she didn't say anything. My smile dropped and I wasn't sure what to do. Then she finally spoke.

"It's about time," she said, a grin spreading across her face. "I've been waiting for that for a long time."

Then she kissed me, and I felt like everything was turning out right for once. I couldn't believe I waited so long to kiss her. I was always afraid that she wouldn't feel the same way, but that wasn't the case.

Without leaving the house, we celebrated for a long time. After awhile, I took her shirt off and saw her scars for the first time. She looked a little embarrassed, but I told her it was okay. I kissed her stomach and traced the scars with my index finger.

"You're so beautiful," I told her.

"You're not too bad yourself," she said, grinning. She pulled my shirt off and it all went from there.

No, we didn't have sex. Neither of us was ready for that. But we did have a lot of fun, and it brought something out of my mouth that I never thought I'd be able to say to her.

"I love you Paige." My heart started beating faster, afraid that we weren't ready for that yet either. And then she said it.

"I love you too Jay."

Hearing those words come from her, my best friend, made me happier than I'd ever been in my life.

Sure, we were teenagers, and it was still way too early to see if our love would last forever, but it was only the beginning.

_**Alex **_

I couldn't wait for Ellie to come over, but, at the same time, I was dreading it. Ever since our kiss, it seemed like she really wanted to be with me, but she still wouldn't tell her mom. I really didn't think we'd last if we had to still keep us a secret. I wanted her to stand up to her mom. That's why the first words out of her mouth made me happier than ever.

"I told her!" she said excitedly, jumping up and down. She hugged me and kissed me before I even had a chance to react.

"And by that you mean…?"

"That we've been seeing each other again, that we'd hold hands, kiss, and maybe have sex tonight, and that I love you!" she said.

"Did you really say that?" I was shocked. This was coming from the girl that hid her tail between her legs and ran away the last time her mom confronted her. Okay, so she doesn't have a tail, but still.

"Yep; all of it. And the best part is: she's OKAY with it! I mean, I'm sure it'll take her awhile to get used to, but after we had our talk, she actually told me to have fun with you! And she wasn't being sarcastic!"

"I love how cute you look when you're excited," I told her.

"Thanks. I love how cute you look all the time."

I highly doubted I looked cute. After Ellie and I talked about me not eating, I finally looked in the mirror and saw what she saw. I'd been working on eating again for the past two weeks, and hadn't really made too much progress, but at least I was trying.

"Oh, by the way, there's been a change of plans," I told her.

"Like what?" she asked. "We're still going on a date, right?" The look on her face told me that I better not disappoint her. It was good to have the old Ellie back. The _real_ Ellie.

"Well, it's sort of turned into a group thing. I've gotten so many phone calls and apparently everyone has reasons to celebrate. But I promise that we'll get some time alone afterwards," I assured her.

"Okay, so what's all this celebrating about? If Manny's involved, it must be because of her finally adjusting to her new home," Ellie said.

"Yep, that's her reason, and Marco and Peter are coming along with her. We're also celebrating Craig and Spinner's relationship! They got together today and it's up to us to make sure they stay together," I said, grinning. "Craig called Jay to tell him the good news, and Jay told him that he and Paige are an official couple now too. That, and Paige's mom is back to her old self, which I know nothing about, but it's apparently a good thing. Jay also said he wanted to bring Emma, since they're best friends now or something. So I invited them all to the movies, and we might play one game of bowling after," I explained.

"That sounds like a great night," Ellie said with a smile on her face. I gave her a quick kiss and we were about to go downstairs when Craig walked in the room.

"Hey Alex, can I have a minute with you?" he asked me.

"I'll just go wait downstairs," Ellie said. As soon as she was gone, I sat on my bed and my brother sat next to me, sighing.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just excited and nervous and overwhelmed and…nervous and excited," he said, repeating himself.

"What happened today, exactly? You never told me," I said.

"Well, it turns out that Spinner had an HIV scare." I gasped, but he held his hand up to stop me from saying anything. "His test results came back negative. But it was still scary, you know?" I nodded. "So ever since then, I've been afraid to…you know…"

"Just be careful. Don't do what you did with Ashley, and you should be fine. Always use a condom. This is pretty basic stuff here," I joked.

"I know. I'm just glad I have you to remind me of that," he said.

I leaned forward and put my arms around him. He hugged me hard; so hard that I thought he'd squeeze all the air out of my lungs. But I didn't mind.

"I'll always be here for you, just as long as you'll be here for me too," I told him.

"I will. Which reminds me, did you eat something today?" He shot me a look that said he'd kill me if I didn't.

"Yes Daaaaaaaaaad, I did," I said proudly, grinning.

"I love you, my big lesbian sister."

"I love you too, my little gay brother."

We both laughed at that and hugged one last time for the night. I knew that Craig would always have my back and I would always have his. We were stuck with each other, for the rest of our lives, and that thought made me smile. I learned in those few months in our new home that family was the most important thing to have. Love comes and goes, but family is always there. If you don't have family, you don't have anything.

And in that moment, I knew I had everything.

* * *

**A/N: THE END!!! Thank you everyone who has read this, and especially those of you who reviewed! I hope you liked the whole story. Let me know what you thought of the entire story, as well as the ending. This was definitely my longest chapter I've ever written--13 1/2 pages in Word and over 6,000 words long. I hope it wasn't too long, but I wanted to get this story finished!  
**


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